Review: WWE 2K14

Posted in Entertainment, Video Games by Nikki

The big story in the production of this game was the shift from THQ to 2K Sports. Everyone thought that this change was going to be a huge uphill for the WWE video game series, but was it? I don’t think it was, but I don’t think it was a downhill either.

As I always do when I first boot up a new wrestling game, I played a singles match as my favourite Diva on the roster – in this case it was Aksana, a video game debutante – going up against another debutante in Kaitlyn, I was expecting some pretty big things. Despite the cool entrances for the new Divas plus the looks, I wasn’t too impressed. The gameplay was pretty much the same as WWE13 with only one real new change (that I noticed anyway) which was the grapple-drag-and-lean shtick which is pretty cool. May I also just take this time and say that unless there is some easy way of doing it that I am not aware of yet, putting someone into a groggy position on the second rope in a 619-ready position is DIFFICULT.

One of the main modes and features of this game is the 30 Years of Wrestlemania mode, where as a player, you go through every Wrestlemania since the first and play key matches from each of them. Just like WWE13’s Attitude Era mode, to unlock everything and make the most of your nostalgic experience, you have to do some key things throughout the match. For example, you will have to Sweet Chin Music Ric Flair three times at Wrestlemania 24 (and subsequently cry as the cutscene takes place). This mode is definitely a nice touch to the game and I found it very entertaining reliving all the old moments, even if they were a bit historically off (NOTE: Stephanie McMahon does get Rock Bottom’d at WM 2000).

One portion of the 30 Years mode is the “Streak Mode”, where you either Defend the Streak as the Undertaker in a slobberknocker, or Beat the Streak as a wrestler of your choice against the Undertaker. Beat the Streak was, dare I say, fantastic! As witnessed at every Wrestlemania the Deadman has participated in, you just can’t put the man down for the 3 count, no matter how hard you try. In the game, it is the exact same. As Ryback, I had to hit the Undertaker with at least 4 Meat Hooks and 4 Shell Shockeds before he would finally stay down – and this was after I rage-restarted about six times.

The roster in WWE2K14 was alright, however the big issue I had with was the notable omission of FAAAAANNNDAAAAANNGOOOOOOO. He was a big star of 2013 and won a match at Wrestlemania 29 against Chris Jericho, so you’d assume he’d be included. Nah. As a Diva fan, it’s also important to point out that they have gone down to the infamous “Seven Diva Rule” where only seven original Divas are included in the game, and two of them are Legends, leaving five current Divas. They also missed out on the Usos, sadface. I love them.

I haven’t dabbled that much in Universe Mode because I found that quite similar to WWE13’s Universe Mode as well, although the rivalry portion of this year’s mode is quite fun, even if you can only do 3 per show. Playing a Diva rivalry on Universe Mode is #totesamaze.

Creation is – I sound like a broken record – very, very similar to WWE13. Creation parts in Create-a-Superstar are pretty much the same with no new cool hairstyles or short skirts to add to your Diva. The only cool thing I liked about this game’s superstar creation is the “Social Name” part where you can put your CAW’s Twitter handle in their ring entrance. Other than that, not really impressed with any of the other creation modes. I do have to make mention of how much I love the “Top Diva” generic theme.

While I’m at sounding like a broken record, graphics are pretty similar as well. I mean, the same Lita and Stephanie McMahon models have been used. Really?

Solst-o-meter
Gameplay: 7.0/10
Graphics: 6.8/10
Creation: 6.6/10
Overall experience: 6.8/10

While I find it fun to play for a solid hour or so, I don’t see anything that will keep the casual gamer from sticking around for that long. It’s too similar to WWE13 to note any major improvements and I’m disappointed that the change to 2k Sports hasn’t had a major impact on game development. Hopefully, the DLC of Summer Rae and Fandango will change my mind because I luff them 4eva.

– by The Black Widow

11Nov2013

Tap Out! The Top 10 Submission Moves

Posted in Sports by Nikki

I’ve been sitting at college talking with my friend Jack about wrestling and I was trying to convince him to let me put him in the Black Widow, a modified octopus stretch-style submission move made famous by the current crazy-ass Divas Champion, AJ Lee. This led me to thinking… “what are some of the great submission moves in wrasslin’ history?”

Alas, here I am listing them. Nothing more SolSat than a top list! NOTE: For all the wrestling purists that may read this, if I am not listing the “original” user of the submission, don’t shoot me. I am just naming the first person or people that comes to my head.

10. Inverted Muta lock by Melina, Emma, AJ Styles, etc.

The first time I saw this baby was when Melina debuted it in a match against Maria as a new finisher in 2007. I’m always wowed with Melina’s offense but this one took the cake. In what is, basically, a flashier-looking STF, when one executes this submission perfectly, the opponent’s legs cannot move, making it even more effective. I would know, I put this one on my friends all the time.

9. Anaconda Vice by CM Punk

I’m one of “those” CM Punk fans who think that anything he does is gold, but even with my bias aside, the Anaconda Vice is one sick submission hold. Originally a Brazilian jiu-jitsu and Judo compression choke, Punk has used this baby as his primary finisher in the beginnings of his WWE career before using it sparingly after the introduction of the GTS.

8. Black Widow by AJ Lee

I don’t know makes this submission more exciting (and deadly) to watch: the way AJ transitions into it with a headscissor whirlybird, the crazy-white-girl face she makes when she’s sinched it in, or the fact that she’s screaming “TAAAPP OOOOUUTT” when it’s in. Either way, I am not a big AJ fan but I am definitely a big Black Widow fan.

7. The Von Erich Claw by the Von Erich Family

The Iron claw was perhaps made most famous by the Fritz Von Erich and his children (and grandchildren). What looks like just a simple head-squeeze, if done by someone with hands as large as the late Kerry Von Erich, this hold could possibly harm you to a very grievous extent. My favourite version of the claw? Lacey’s, of course.

6. Texas Cloverleaf by Dean Malenko

Dean Malenko is probably my favourite wrestling technician, and the Texas Cloverleaf is one of the reasons why. Originally just called the “cloverleaf” hold, innovated by Dory Funk Jr., it was Mr. Malenko who popularised the submission move before passing it down to the likes of Sheamus and ODB. It’s also noteworthy to mention that Malenko is a favourite because he was featured a bit in one of my most favourite WWE feuds ever – Terri Runnels vs. the Kat.

5. Pin Up Strong by Natalya and Beth Phoenix

I can’t even begin to explain what this submission technically is. It’s like a modified surfboard type submission but with the legs locked kind of thing… either way, this nifty little move which I am assuming was invented by Natalya was used by the Divas of Doom for a short period of time. It hasn’t been since since the era of DOD and I am assuming it’s because it “looked too deadly for a Diva to do.”

4. LeBell Lock (Yes!/No! Lock) by Daniel Bryan

Popularised by a famous wrestler whose name I am legitimately terrified to say or write, it is now the trademark finisher submission move for Daniel Bryan, or Bryan Danielson, as it were. Let’s face it, though, anything Daniel Bryan does looks amazing. so it’s no surprise that the Yes/No/Maybe Lock looks as deadly as it does.

3. Figure Four Leg Lock by Ric Flair and the Miz

Made famous by the legendary Ric Flair, I will always remember how painful this leg lock is when my brother put it on me when I was about 7 and I screamed at him to get off because it was legitimately killing. In an effort to gain sympathy for the natural-heel-turning-face Miz, Ric Flair passed down his signature submission to the brash Cleveland native and thus, the legend of the Figure Four Leg Lock remains!

2. Lion Tamer (Walls of Jericho) by Chris Jericho

A simple yet effective submission move, the Lion Tamer is probably coloquially described as a “more intense version of the Boston crab.” Chris Jericho has a way of contorting his opponent’s bodies in such gruesome ways that even I, a flexible ex-dancer, cringe. When he puts his knee on the back of his opponent’s head when locking in the Walls of Jericho, tap out. It’s game over.

1. Sharpshooter by everyone who has ever trained in the Hart Dungeon, The Rock, etc.

As synonymous as the Von Erich Claw is to the Von Erichs, the Sharpshooter is synonymous with the other most popular wrestling family, the Harts. It acts as an heirloom of sorts as it has been passed down the generations and is currently used by Natalya Neidhart and her husband, Tyson Kidd. This is my favourite submission mainly because of the reaction it gets when locked in – as soon as those legs are crossed, the crowd goes wild.Aaaaaand Bobsuruncle. My back hurts just looking at those pictures. I need to go lie down. If you ever find yourself in a sticky situation, just lock in one of these bad boys and you’ll be sweet. Take care!– by The Black Widow

6Nov2013

The Bachelors of the Books

Posted in Books, Entertainment by Nikki

Since women (and men alike) were introduced to the devilishly handsome vampire Edward Cullen and “shutup you’re not really 18” heartthrob Jacob Black from the Twilight series, there has been a noticeable influx of paperback princes in romance novels with authors trying to create that perfect man for readers to swoon over. Insert GPOY here.

As a romance novel enthusiast, I’ve decided to list my top 6 “Bachelors of the Books”. These men, commonly referred to as “book boyfriends”, not only steal your heart but make you feel that love – because everyone deserves to be loved, even if it’s within the confinement of a novel. Brace yourself and get ready to swooooooooon.

NOTE: The images provided are pictures of men who I believe represent the character exceptionally or actors who have been cast as the character in movie adaptations of this book.

#6 Dean Holder (Hopeless by Colleen Hoover)

“Dean Holder? Messy brown hair? Smoldering blue eyes? A temper straight out of Fight Club?” This quote represents Mr. Dean Holder perfectly. Dean Holder has this captivating aura of confident swag about him – “You probably faked passing out the other day, just so you could be carried in my hot, sweaty, manly arms.” However, like most bad boys, he’s troubled. Women loooooove their troubled men. Here’s to thinking that Sky is one lucky, lucky gal.

#5 Daniel “Monty” Montgomery (Outback Dreams by Rachael Johns)

One of the best things about Outback Dreams was how close to home it was (on the other side of the country, but still). The best thing about it, however – and other readers could attest for this as well – was the character Monty. A true man’s man, this outback handyman knows what he wants and goes for it, regardless of the consequences, whether it be for his dream farm or for Faith Forrester’s heart. A couple of dick moves here and there, but hey, nobody’s perfect. He sure comes close to it though. What confuses me is this: how Faith could overlook Monty for so long is beyond me.

#4 Christian Grey (Fifty Shades Trilogy by EL James)

Everybody’s favourite bajillionaire BDSM dom enthusiast Christian Grey has won over a lot of hearts since Fifty Shades of Grey. The word “damaged” doesn’t even begin to describe how royally fucked Christian is: he’s cold, distant, controlling and unnecessarily possessive. Underneath all of that is a caring, gentle soul that is just in need of some tender lovin’ care. He’s got to be incredible for putting up with Anastasia for so long. He’s also totally baben, but that’s beside the point. I dare you to listen to Prelude in E Minor by Frédéric Chopin (a song he plays on the piano in the first book) and not feel how much pain he’s in. Jamie Dornan might be the new Christian Grey, but I still think Jessie Pavelka is my Christian.

#3 Bennett Ryan (Beautiful Bastard by Christina Lauren)

The title Beautiful Bastard describes Bennett Ryan to a tee – he’s beautiful, and he’s a deadset asshat bastard. Although, much like Chloe Mills, you couldn’t help but find the young CEO intriguing. Also a gajillionaire so early in his life, Bennett is the type of man that can irritate you one moment and have you wrapped around his little finger the next. His charm is almost outweighed by his arrogance. He’s spontaneous, he’s handsome, and he’s a horny prick. Stock up on underwear and avoid being alone with him in the stairwell… just kidding. Women would jump at the chance of a stairwell encounter with Bennett.

#2 Michael (Sundays at Tiffany’s by James Patterson)

Michael (only referred to as simply Michael) is a dream man – literally. Why? Because he’s imaginary. 9-year-old Jane Margaux (Claremont, if you watch the movie adaptation) needed a friend. Enter Michael, the handsome imaginary friend who knows everything about Jane – her hopes, her fears, her favourite dessert… you name it. Several years later and this imaginary heartthrob is back. Who doesn’t want a big, masculine man to walk you to and from work after giving you flowers? Michael is also willing to punch out his friend for disrespecting women – yeah, that happened. A little spoiler alert: Michael becomes real, so at least you can say you’ve fallen for a real book character, not an imaginary one.

#1 Travis Maddox (Beautiful Disaster and Walking Disaster by Jamie McGuire)

Travis Maddox is the right balance of sweet charm and rough badass. A panty-droppin’ player turned one-woman man, Travis is the whole package: he’s big, he’s strong, he’s got killer tatts, he rides a motorcycle and can also fight with the best of them. He’s also motivated and cunning and romantic and knows how to make a woman feel as if she’s the only one. Only Travis can make a nickname “Pidgeon” totally adorable. His never-give-up attitude is infectious and his need for cuddling makes him seem the ultimate gentle giant. If you want a man who is that dedicated to you that he gets your name tattooed on his arm, well, Travis is your man!

If you’re still alive after all that epic swoonage, I suggest you purchase all of these books from your nearest bookstore (preferably Dymocks because I love that place) and join the world in falling in love with fictitious men. It’s not as insane as it sounds.

The storylines aren’t bad either.

– by The Black Widow

5Nov2013

How to speak Strayan

Posted in Lifestyle by Nikki

Yeah g’day mate. Nikki ‘ere with the latest blog post.

Australians have a very distinct accent and way of speaking, so much that when a character in an American TV show or film is “from Australia”, their “accent” is exaggerated so much that I don’t even recognise what country they come from. With our strong (and dead sexy) accent comes our own vernacular, something I like to call Strayan – because no real Australian says the “L” in Australian.

Advance Straya Fair!

If you’re a reader from another country and have been confused as to what your Aussie pal is trying to say to you, here are a few translations for you to help you understand your friend from Down Under.

deadset – A word commonly used by hearty Australians. It is pretty much another word for “seriously” when trying to get your point across. For example: “Beyonce is such a great performer. Deadset.” or “Love and Theft are deadset legends.”

fair dinkum – A phrase used to express a number of feelings, mainly that of surprise. For example: “This Guess wallet is reduced to $50? Fair dinkum!”

durry/fag – Now don’t be offended by the latter of the two; it’s not offensive when used properly in Australia. Basically, these two are another word for “cigarette”. For example: “Can anyone spare a durry?” or “I’m going out to have a fag.”

biff – Despite it being the nickname my best friend calls me (BFFL shortened to biff), this pretty much means “fight” as in a physical scrap. Commonly associated with contact sport. For example: “Nate Myles and Paul Gallen got into a biff in Origin 1.”

onya (may be spelled on ya) – This is a phrase of congratulations, meaning “well done” basically. It is pretty much the shortened version of “good on you”. For example: “You got a new full-time job with the NRL? Onya mate!” This may be followed up with “Sonya”, making it “onya Sonya” which paints the same meaning.

spittin’ chips – A phrase used to express one’s frustration or anger. Not as common as its original phrase “spitting the dummy”. For example: “The Broncos lost to the Eels last night and I was absolutely spittin’ chips.” NOTE: The g is omitted from “spitting” for a reason.

off his/her face – A description of someone when they are completely drunk. For example: “Talia had too much to drink last night and she was off her face.” Not to be confused with “off his/her head” which basically means he or she is crazy.

bludger – Not the flying ball from Harry Potter’s “Quidditch”, but a noun used to describe someone who is lazy. For example: “Jack hasn’t moved all day. What a bludger!”

cozzies – A shortened version of “swimming costume”, and ONLY a swimming costume. For example: “We’re going to the pool in 10 so get your cozzies.”

no wackas – Derived from another Strayan phrase “no worries”. It pretty much means “that’s okay” or “don’t worry about it.” For example: “You forgot to bring my jumper? That’s okay, no wackas.”

servo – Another shortened word, this time of “service station” also known as petrol station. For example: “I need to fill up my car so I’m going to the servo.”

bloody oath – Not a vow sworn whilst covered in blood. The English translation of this would be “Yes, that is correct.” For example: “Tahan’s going to win Big Brother? Bloody oath!”

chinwag (sometimes shortened to chinny) – A conversation, as when someone speaks, their chin moves or “wags”. For example: “So I was having a chinwag with Abby last night…”

With these important words in your belt, it is important to remember to throw in a curse word here and there where you see fit because swearing isn’t as frowned upon as much as it is expected in Australia. End your sentences with the word “mate” and you have constructed yourself a good Strayan sentence.

Another important thing to learn about how to speak Strayan is this: if there is a word that is about three or more syllables and you can shorten it to one or two and still make the same meaning, do it. Why waste your time saying “literally” when you can say “litch”. Traffic becomes traff, spectacular becomes speccy, legend or legendary becomes ledge… you get the idea. When in doubt: shorten that word.

And for sobbing out loud, Aussie is pronounced like “ozzy” not “Awssee”.

– by The Black Widow

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Author Archives: Nikki

Review: WWE 2K14

Tap Out! The Top 10 Submission Moves

The Bachelors of the Books

How to speak Strayan