Author Archives: Nikki

The F’n Worst GTA Onliners

Posted in Entertainment, Video Games by

So here I was, laying on my couch playing some GTA Online at the middle of the night because a) I couldn’t get to sleep and b) GTA Online is amazing. I’m doing a mission of stealing two cars from people who don’t defend their cars whatsoever and then you drive the cars to a location and Bobsuruncle. I had two partners on the mission. Sounds like a walk in the park, right? Well, tell that to my nitwit partners who drove off as if still playing in freemode and didn’t assist me in the slightest.

Summer says hello from the world of GTA Online!

Summer says hello from the world of GTA Online!

After that dreadful altercation, I’ve decided to pinpoint and name the worst gamers to play GTA Online and describe just how irritating they are.

The Clueless Mission Partner
As described above in my terrible experience, the Clueless Mission Partner is the smartarse who will join your mission and do absolutely nothing to help you just so they can reap the exact same rewards you get for doing 100% of the work. That is the major issue I have with GTA Online – rewards are split in team deatchmatches depending on how much you contributed to the team which is fair enough. In missions, however, everyone gets the same money and experience points. So, unfortunately, if you are paired up with one of these morons, you’re just gonna have to bite your tongue and get on with the job – or you could run them over. That’d be acceptable, methinks.

The Obsessive Killer
Ah, the Obsessive Killer – the tool who goes around killing everyone for no reason other than to be a troll. Unfortunately the sad truth is that if you wanted to avoid the Obsessive Killer, you’d probably have to hide in the mountains or stake out at Sandy Shores because these losers tend to frequent GTA Online a lot. If one is chasing you and you try to take refuge in good ol’ Ponsonby’s, don’t worry – they’ll take advantage of a glitch and come in and gun you down for no reason. Alternatively, if they haven’t figured out the glitch, they will literally wait for you to walk out so they can gun you down or try and shoot you through the window. I have been a part of all three.

The Bounty Coward
What’s a good way to earn some quick money? Getting bounties. What makes it unnecessarily difficult, however, is when the person who has the bounty on their head hides out in their apartment and will literally stay in there for as long as necessary. Technically, one is allowed to do it but it really should be more frowned upon than it is. It’s annoying and slack to the players in the same session who want to make a quick buck. If you really think about it, you don’t really lose anything if you’re killed – unless you’re carrying loads of cash – so you really have nothing to lose if you give yourself up.

The Creepy Stalker
While these aren’t that frequently seen on GTA Online, I’ve had my fair share of run ins with them. These are the players that choose to follow you around for no reason – they won’t kill you at first, they just feel the need to be in your general presence. I once had a guy follow me for half an hour for no reason and after I killed him for his creepy behaviour, got into a helicopter and tried to gun me down. Don’t, people. Just don’t.

The Vengeful Moron
You kill another player, whether that be on purpose or by accident, and you drive off thinking nothing of it. Nekk minnit, that player is following you to get their revenge. And once is never good enough for this person. After they get their initial first kill, they’ll just keep following you and following you like a jealous ex who is out for blood. I will admit, I have participated in vengeful quests – only after someone found it necessary to kill me four times in a row.

The Trolling Thief
You get out of your personal car that cost you a gazillion dollars to upgrade and walk into your nearest Suburban to get some new threads. You walk outside with your new clothes and – oh look at that – your car has gone because someone thought it’d be funny to break into your car and drive off. I don’t even have words to describe these ones. Just no.

While all of these “characters” could be described as simply “trolls”, they are all guilty of making an MMORPG like GTA Online – which is probably one of the most fun MMORPG’s I’ve ever played – not fun. If you fit into one of these categories, please stop what you are doing and re-evaluate your life. There are far more important things in life to achieve. Thanks.

– by The Black Widow

The Different Paths to a Man’s Heart

Posted in Lifestyle by

“The way to a man’s heart is through stomach and sports.”
Two Can Play That Game, 2001 film

The wise words of Shante Smith are so accurate. Ladies, pay good attention to this. You see that guy over there that you’ve been dying to make yours but you don’t know how to seize him, leash him and place a nice “OWNED” sticker on his forehead? (NOTE: not really). SolSat is here to help you win a man’s heart.

Do as I say and you will have your man in the palm of your hand, much like Shonte here.

Do as I say and you will have your man in the palm of your hand, much like Shante here.

A man’s gotta eat!
Men like to eat. Men like food. Men like to eat food. Now don’t take this as a sexist “I am not becoming a 50s housewife and delegating myself back to the kitchen” kind of thing because it’s not like that. It’s simple: men love food. Surprise the man with your stellar cooking skills and invite him over for a fabulous dinner. If you are kitchenally challenged, don’t worry – if you have to sneak in some takeaway through the back door, slap it on a plate and call it your own, go for it. The happier the man’s stomach, the happier the man. Ask around for his favourite dish and “just happen” to cook that for him and he’ll be putty in your hand.

Up the Broncos!
Can I just say that anyone who has the same passion and fire for rugby league will automatically shoot into my favourites list, especially if they have the same love for the Broncos, All Blacks or any of my other sporting teams. Most men love their sports or at least have an interest in it, and nothing is sexier than a woman who knows the difference between league and union or how to kick a solid 40m conversion. In saying that, don’t go out of your way to impress him with sports knowledge if you literally have none – nothing is more painful to watch than girls babbling about how they love sports and the only athlete they know is Sonny Bill Williams. Bitch please. NOTE: don’t overdo it, otherwise you might friendzone yourself.

The endangered species of the girl gamer
Just as much as men love sports, they also love their video games – if not made apparent by the gazillions of “He broke my heart so I broke his Xbox”-esque pages on Facebook. Wow the man with your team deathmatch skills on COD and your impressive knowledge on the Tarkatan clan from Mortal Kombat.  Just the same as sports, don’t over do it in case of friendzoning.

Love me, love me, say that you love me
No I am not advocating you walk up to a random man at a bar and say “Oh my god I think I love you”. That’s creepy. No, what I’m saying is to appreciate your desired man by complimenting him and making him feel as if he’s the only one.  While this sounds very feminine and most men wouldn’t openly admit to feeling like this, the truth is that most men like being treated like royalty and will most likely want to wife you if you do so.

Most importantly: be yourself
I know this may seem a bit contradictory as it appears that I’m telling you to change yourself for the sake of a man, but that’s not my intention. If you don’t want to get off your arse and cook or watch a game of footy, don’t. However, it’s always wise to use your talents and knowledge to your advantage. Men (at least, the good ones) can see through an act so if you’re trying too hard to be someone you aren’t, they’ll see through that and be turned off. Nothing is more appealing than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and does not apologise for being herself. Men will appreciate this and will like this about you.

In interviewing some men for this post, I found a couple that said “they aren’t won over too easily”, so follow my rules and that man will change his ways and be putty in your hands. Putty, I tells ya.

– by The Black Widow

Review: Outback Dreams

Posted in Books, Entertainment by

I had the most interesting story in purchasing this book. Not really. I was without a phone and had to locate my brother in a huge mall the old fashioned way and, along the way, stopped by my new favourite store Dymocks. Giving up my mission to find him for just a second, I stumbled upon this read and seeing as I love anything country, bought it without really reading the blurb.

The story of Faith Forrester and Daniel "Monty" Montgomery.

The story of Faith Forrester and Daniel “Monty” Montgomery.

Outback Dreams by Rachael Johns follows the lives of Faith Forrester and Daniel “Monty” Montgomery, two people who have been best friends since they were children. Faith is unsatisfied with her life – being single, having half a degree, slaving in the kitchen for her father and brother – and is looking to revitalise herself. Monty is working hard and striving for his dream – owning a farm of his own after being snatched from it so early in his life.

Oh. Em. Gee. Can I just first start this review by saying this is literally one of the best books I’ve read in a very, very, very long time? I couldn’t have become more involved in this story even if I wanted to. In what was supposed to be a quick casual read, I first opened the book and didn’t put it down until I was halfway through and I needed to go to sleep at 2 in the morning.

The storyline was one of the most interesting ones I’ve encountered recently. I loved the outback setting (#imalittlemorecountrythanthat) and it made me think of my childhood in Bathurst where everyone knew everyone and it was nice. The evolving relationship between Faith and Monty was absolutely contagious and I found myself emotionally invested in the love and relationship between the two. The inclusion of other characters such as Ruby made it all the more captivating and it thrust me as a reader into the town as if I knew everyone and I was there.

Faith as a character was a hit-or-miss with me. Sometimes I found her to be funny and quirky but to me, she had that “typical romance novel heroine” feel about her – pretty but she doesn’t know it, insecure, lacking confidence. After you’ve been through a lot of romance novels like I have, the mould gets a bit tiring after a while. Monty, on the other hand, filled the boots of charming cowboy perfectly. His conscientiousness to achieve his dreams was admirable and he was just too damn sweet!

The style of writing was different in that it was written entirely in third person but was done in a way that you still knew what both characters were thinking and what they felt. If you were in Faith’s perspective, the writing would match her thoughts, feelings and her daily tasks and if you were in Monty’s perspective, same jist. I found this third person kind of writing very refreshing and I think Rachael wrote it well, making me as a reader empathetic with both characters whilst keeping me out of their heads. It’s a hard task to accomplish but she nailed it.

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 8.8/10
Style of writing: 8.4/10
Overall: 8.6/10

If there is a book you should go out and buy or borrow or steal or strip naked for, this is the one. Outback Dreams had the right mixture of sweet romance and comedy and sex in it and was, in my humble opinion, one of the best books I remember reading recently. If you’re a romance lover, or you just want a good read, SolSat DEFINITELY recommends picking up this one to perouse!

– by The Black Widow

Review: Beautiful Stranger

Posted in Books, Entertainment by

I haven’t had the privilege of reviewing a book in a while seeing as I haven’t had the time to properly sit down and read one. Eventually my passion for reading “smut” returned and I found myself reading Beautiful Stranger, a close relative to Beautiful Bastard and Beautiful Bitch.

RELATED LINKS: Solstice Satisfaction reviews Beautiful Bastard
Solstice Satisfaction reviews Beautiful Bitch

Just can't get enough of Christina Lauren.

Just can’t get enough of Christina Lauren.


Beautiful Stranger follows the antics of Sara Dillon, who you may (or may not) know as Chloe’s best friend from Bastard and Bitch. She is newly single after leaving her scum of an ex-fiancee. Enter Max Stella, who you may (or may not) recognise as Bennett’s friend who lent him the house in France in which Chloe and Bennett became engaged. Sara and Max meet at a nightclub and eventually agree to a very no strings attached arrangement filled with raunchy fantasies and head-sized burgers.

First of all, I’d like to commend the efforts on intertwining characters from previous books that I thought were simply going to be sidekicks or characters with no real purpose. That was the first thing I found really intriguing and my mind was a bit blown when I realised who Max Stella was. Nice work, ladies.

This novel followed the style of writing of Bastard and Bitch in which different fonts represented the point of view of the main protagonists, Sara and Max. Again, it made it easier to understand and shift gears so to speak when you went from the overthinking mind of Sara to the wondering thoughts of Max Stella. If I had to nitpick on anything, it would’ve been to give Sara and Max different fonts to Chloe and Bennett respectively, just to give them their own flare. I’m not complaining, however.

The storyline of this novel, although it may have seemed a bit predictable, was captivating nevertheless.  I don’t usually find things “Oh golly, this is rather racy” as I’m very open minded but some of the things that Sara and Max participated in within the novel was, dare I say, racy. The interactions between the two characters were always entertaining and I found their blunt sexual talk quite refreshing, not gonna lie.

I found the characters to be very different to Chloe and Bennett and it was nice to begin with. The clear difference between business Sara and slutty Sara was fun to read and the horny-gentleman known as Max Stella was also made clear. I truly liked both characters as they were but I didn’t have the same connection I had with Chloe and Bennett, maybe just because Sara and Max came second. Maybe not. Although, not gonna lie, Max got me at the ending – will not spoil but let’s just say it was cute and something a man generally wouldn’t say.

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 7.6/10
Style of writing: 8.2/10
Overall: 8.0/10

This book was a very good read that I definitely recommend to other readers, casual or intense, male or female. It’s fun, kinky and sexy and one should not be ashamed to read it openly on public transport like me. I can’t wait to delve into Beautiful Bombshell because, quite frankly, I miss Bennett Ryan.

– by The Black Widow