Category Archives: Lifestyle

Mastering Life in Your 20s…

Posted in Lifestyle by

I recently read a blog post entitled “10 Things Everyone in Their 20s Should Be Doing.” I thought it’d be a good idea to do some research since I am turning 20 in a few weeks.

Turns out I was wrong. This list should have been called “10 Things Everyone Should Be Doing Regardless of Age Because They Are Just Common Sense”.

  1. Eat more fruit and veges
  2. Drink water
  3. Exercise at least three times a week

Blah, blah, blah.

None of this is 20s specific. I already do all of those things. Except number 7, which was “Get involved in a group sport.” The list justified this as a good way to get fit and socialise, but anyone who knows me knows that I generally don’t like people, or groups, or sports that require coordination.
I also don’t do number 10, which is “Travel” because I am an almost 20 year old arts student. I do not now, nor will I ever, have enough money to travel further than my parents’ house every other weekend.

Step Brothers: basically just an entire film about what happens when you fail your 20s…

Since I have a pathological need to be right- and to mock things I find to be outright ridiculous, like this list- I came up with my own list of 10 Things Everyone in Their 20s Should Be Doing.

  1. Learn to Cook.
    Moving away from home for uni/study/general escape from rules and CSI reruns is great until you realise that Mi Goreng and toast are not a legitimate meal plan. Mixing it up with some basics like French Toast, Bolognese and fresh soups is a really good idea.
  2. Master the Washing Machine.
    Whites, colours, darks and towels all need to be sorted, washed separately and ironed once dry.  While my brother chooses to stubbornly ignore my teachings, I have faith that you, the lovely SolSat readers are much smarter than he is.
    The next lesson here is, of course, the machine itself. Hot wash, cold wash, low/mid/high water levels, front loader vs. top loader, and what-the-hell-bloody-brand-of- powder-do-I-buy!? Relax. Set your machine to cold wash and mid water level so you’re always good to go. Get the brand of powder that smells the best and make sure to check that the label clearly matches your machine ie: if you have a top loader, get top loader powder.
    Also, fabric softener is a money making conspiracy. It does nothing. Save your $6.
  3. Learn to Change a Tyre.
    Most people get their license at 18, buy a car at 19 and have a wonderful time with it all. Super, except that about 75% of people in their 20s don’t know how to change a tyre, put water in their washer bottles or change their oil. For the women this isn’t such a  big deal because we can flirt with the guys from roadside assist or convince a passing motorist to take pity on us, but guys don’t have that option. It’s a sad stereotype, but everyone expects you to be able to do this for yourself.
  4. How To Hold A Baby.
    Yes. This makes it into the top 5 because this the point in your life when your friends/siblings/colleagues are about to start procreating and whether you like it or not, at some point you’re going to be asked to hold their offspring.
    Did anyone else play Operation as a kid? Well, babies are a lot like that. One wrong move and they start making a god-awful noise that freaks you out more than the thought of actually dropping them. Remember; tuck their head into the crook of your elbow and support from below.
  5. Tie A Necktie.
    You can’t pass for young and deliberately scruffy anymore. You are, albeit reluctantly, an adult. It’s time to start dressing like one. Leave the pre-ties to the hipster kids and man up.
  6. Master Chopsticks.
    No, not that weird piano piece. I mean legitimate, Mr Miagi chopsticks. In your 20s, you do a lot of hipster/cheap activities (because they’re basically the same thing) like hanging out in China Town or Japanese Restaurants. If you want to immerse yourself in another culture, try using their table manners, too.
  7. Dress To Impress.
    The waistband of your jeans belong- wait for it- on your waist. None of this halfway-down-my-butt nonsense. You look ridiculous, and I think your common sense has escaped, along with your dignity, through your exposed crack.
    Spots and stripes do not belong together. That’s not avant-garde or unique or cool. It’s uncomfortable to look at.
    And just a heads up, real mean wear pink. Ladies love a man in pink.
  8. Argue With Respect.
    No, this isn’t an oxymoron. In our 20s, we’ve all got really strong opinions about everything from politics to which Kardashian we like best. Some things aren’t worth losing friendships over, so make sure you keep their feelings in mind. Use phrases like “I understand where you’re coming from, but…” and “Consider this…” rather than just shutting the other person down entirely.
  9. Make a Fire.
    Not in a supermarket or anything like that – I do not advocate pyromania. What I mean is that 20-somethings should be camping and cooking and all doing all that outdoorsy shit. If the cavemen could do it without a YouTube tutorial, you should be able to do it as well.
  10. Perform Basic First Aid.
    This should probably have been number 1, but I’m not going back and changing things now. The ability to perform CPR or properly splint broken bones is incredibly undervalued. Life skills like this one, quite apart from being insanely practical, look great on resumes and first dates. First Aid Classes aren’t expensive, so they’re definitely something to look into.

Also, a mate of mine really wanted me to add “Dispose Of A Body” to this list. I’m slightly concerned as to why, but here is his justification:

“Not because I need to hide a body at the moment, or plan to at any stage, but hey – we can’t predict the future. I just think everyone should have a plan in mind. I, for example, would probably dig a big hole on a farm somewhere and just drop that sucker in. Or feed it to the pigs that live on the farm… yeah, I’d probably go with the pigs.”

And on that note, I’m off to make sure my doors are locked.

− by Blaire Gillies

Adult Skills

Posted in Lifestyle by

Over the age of eighteen? Well this article was written for you – unless you have your shit together, than you can ignore all of this. But don’t lie to yourself. If you’re that twenty-something year old who just moved out of their childhood home, or that middle-aged man who just separated and realised that they actually don’t know how to wash their own jocks then read on.

I don’t care if you’re happy to keep letting the people around you do every job that you haven’t bothered to learn; you’re an adult. There are some things that you have to know before it’s too late. But before we continue I admit that I don’t know how to do half of these things, however I am aware that I should.

Cook

Is this you?

Is this you?

I don’t expect even the most pro-active of people to be great at this, but if you’re at least able to not make yourself sick then that’s good enough. Cooking is the shit. It satisfies your mind, your tum-tum, and if you get better at it, your ego. Domino’s pizza and two-minute noodles can only satisfy a person for so long; ditching the microwavables and deep-fried crapola means that you’re on your way to becoming a well-balanced adult. Don’t fool yourself buddy; it doesn’t matter how many KFC coupons you’ve saved up, in the long run learning to at least fry an egg will keep your wallet and stomach comfortably full.

Clean

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How not to clean

What the fuck are you doing mopping the floor with detergent? You obviously didn’t help your parents with the cleaning, did you? You can’t survive simply off of windex and detergent, you need various chemicals for various things. You could ask your parents because they are probably real adults and will help you out. If you don’t want your dishwasher to overflow with bubbles or you’re wanting to get rid of those weird mushrooms growing out of your shower, it’s time to pick up a Chux and read some instructions.

Read

I don’t mean this in a general way like “you’re not an adult unless you read x amount of novels,” but there are some things that might prove helpful to read. The older you get the easier it is to get fat. That grid of numbers on the back of food packages could help you determine what you should eat, how much and why. Buzz-words like “low-fat” and “90% of your daily fibre” may lead you to think that some products are superior, but this deception can vanish when you read its Nutritional Information.

Another thing that should make sense to you is analogue time. For some people it really is a problem. But not every watch and clock in the world has switched over to digital just yet, so don’t assume that you don’t need to know how to read them.

Mend and Spend

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Time to get a new shirt

Calm down; you don’t need a sewing machine just yet, but you should have a few things in case of emergencies. Thread, needle, and maybe some buttons will come in handy (On another note: KEEP the spare buttons that come with new clothing). Before planning a trip to K-Mart really look at the damage. If it’s a small hole or a lost button chances are you can mend it yourself rather than spending more mulla.

Another part of being an adult is realising that expensive clothes are just that for a reason. As a rule of thumb these clothes will last longer, assuming you care for it responsibly. It means that instead of getting a pair of skinnys from Target that will last a month or two, you should maybe check out that fancy looking denim boutique.

Finance

Even though many adults are still supported by other people (no shame) there is still a certain level of responsibility you have to have. It’s dependent on the person but simply budgeting or tracking what you buy can help you save money. This is a tip I’ve heard over and over again but it still rings true: When you think of buying something, think of what you would rather be given by somebody else; that thing or the equivalent in money?

Always making sure you have some sort of income is essential to live a good life, this means not quitting a job before you find a new one, remembering to report to Centrelink or even being grateful for the money someone else is supporting you with.

Long story short: Money keeps you alive, always make sure you have a steady supply of it.

Listen to your body

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Ow! My spraying hand

After eighteen years of your life you should be used to your own body, but sometimes it’s easy to forget that you are responsible for it. It seems like common sense but sometimes we neglect going to the doctors and certain specialists because of the time, effort, and expenses that come with it. These things can exponentially rise if left alone; toothaches can turn into expensive root-canal procedures, intolerances can lead to severe allergies. And the routine things we have to do; pap smears, STD checks and breast exams are things that could potentially save your life. Keep up with your checkups.

Wrap A Present

Seriously, it’s not funny anymore. Nobody likes a nice present bundled up in butchers paper and masking tape.

−  by Josefina Huq

Top 6 Customers That Every Retail Worker Hates

Posted in Lifestyle by

“You either love it, or you hate it. There’s no in between.”

This quote is very much true when it comes to working in retail: it can be the fun, exciting and dynamic experience that young, impressionable teenagers see which makes them want to work in retail, or it can be painful and God forsaken and it can turn the best of people into world-loathing cynics.

Speaking of the latter, it’s not the work that turns them into fun-suckers… it’s the customers. As someone who works in retail, I can say that there are customers who need nothing more than a good frying pan to fall out of the sky and squash them into the ground (subtle Snowboard Kids reference).

So you're one of these customers? It'd be a shame if... someone pushed you down these stairs. (SOURCE: Björn Láczay's Flickr photostream)

So you’re one of these customers? It’d be a shame if… someone pushed you down these stairs. (SOURCE: Björn Láczay’s Flickr photostream)

While it is true that there are some lovely customers that you would be happy to go out of your way to accommodate, the truth is that there are too many unpleasant customers that retail workers have to deal with on a daily basis. To give you a fair idea, here are some of the types of customers that every retail worker loathes to deal with (and provided examples):

The Ignorant Questioner
These are the ones that ask the workers questions, which they are perfectly entitled to, except they keep asking the same question over and over to the point where the worker might believe they’re talking to a malfunctioning fembot from Austin Powers. An example:

Customer: Is this garment on sale?
Worker #1: No, it’s full priced, so it’s 29.95.
Customer: Okay… (five seconds later). Excuse me, is this garment on sale?
Worker #2: No, it’s full priced.

Asking someone else isn’t going to get you the answer that you seek. I honestly don’t understand the logic behind this.

The Complainer
“But this top was on the sale rack even though there is a whole set of them placed on the other side of the store marked correctly… I demand you give it to me on sale or so help me I will complain to your manager.” If you don’t think these types of people exist… they do. They will go to extreme lengths to get what they want, even if what they want is absolutely ridiculous. The Complainer will argue with you until the cows come home and will effectively forget that people have feelings.

Customer: Oh the music is so loud and awful in here! I can’t shop in this environment!
Worker: Sorry, the volume is always like this and I can’t change it.
Customer: Well, you’ve just lost a customer!

Because I’m sure that $5 top you were considering was going to have a huge effect on the ultimate sales for the day.

The Slave Driver
On workers job descriptions, it’ll list them as “Retail manager” or “Sales assistant”. Nowhere does it say “Personal shopping basket” or “Other size fetcher”. Technically speaking, people who work in retail don’t have to offer you any kind of personal assistance at all, really; they choose to. Certain people, however, choose to take advantage of this general sweetness and put workers to slavery.

Worker: Is there anything I can help you with?
Customer: Well, I want to try these pants on. Could you be a darl and babysit my baby, watch my trolley, and stand here in case I need another size? Actually… just get me the size up, just in case. Thanks. Oh… here’s the baby.

This may come as a shock to some people, but people who work in retail are human beings as well. Human beings like to be treated as human beings sometimes. What a nifty little idea!

The Grub
So you want to try on three pairs of pants and three matching tops? Fair enough. You’re within your right. But you don’t like any of them… so what do you do? The Grub leaves their tried-on garments inside out on the floor of the change room in a pile of mess, and expect the workers to clean up after them as if they’re some incapable toddler who has gone for a run about.

Customer: Whoops… I accidentally knocked over that table display of shoes. Oh well. Better walk out now and leave it for the workers.
Worker: (chronic swearing in fifteen different languages)

If it’s that easy to take off the hanger, I’m sure it is as easy to put back on. Weird concept, right?

The Bargainer
I understand that some stores may have the privilege of altering prices to make that ultimate sale, but most don’t. So there really is no point in trying to bargain an item if the price tag is set in stone.

Worker: These ones are $49.95.
Customer: There’s a tiny, almost invisible mark on these boots. Can I get a discount on them?

No. You can’t.

The Indecisive Douchebag
This may come to a surprise to some people but putting a refund or exchange through the store’s sale system is a long process. It isn’t just a snap-of-the-fingers-and-it’s-done type thing. So when a customer buys something and then all of a sudden decides they don’t want it, no amount of apologies will make up for the half hour you just wasted of their lives.

Customer: I’ll just buy the pink scarf, thanks.
Worker: Thank you. Have a good day.
Customer: Actually, no; I want the orange one.

With exchanges, it’s also important to note that you can’t just take the new one and walk out. That is called stealing.

If there is one thing I want to leave at the end of this, it’s this: people who work in retail are human beings as well, so treat them like you want to be treated.

– by The Black Widow

Satisfashion: Coloured suits for men

Posted in Lifestyle, Satisfashion by

Hey guys, are you looking to stand out in a spectacular way?

Gents, if you have a formal event coming up and you want to make a statement, maybe a coloured suit is the way to go.

Men’s formal fashion is very basic: you chuck on some slacks, a button up shirt, some nice pleather shoes, and Bobsuruncle. Ties, blazers and sleek aviators optional. It is because of this that men don’t usually put much thought into what they’re going to wear at formal occasions, and to me, that is quite sad. It is possible for a man to outshine his beautiful female partner if he does it well.

Plus, to a woman, a man in a nice suit is the equivalent to a woman in skimpy lingerie to a man.

My best mate Rachel and I. This was four years ago and I look the same.

My best mate Rachel and I. This was four years ago and I look the same.

If you want to take formal dress just that extra bit further, however, coloured suits are becoming more frequent nowadays. They come in very obvious colours like lime green, royal blue and SolSat magenta – the latter of which being owned by yours truly.

Wearing a coloured suit is just like wearing a coloured dress for a lady; the suit is the statement so the extra additionals should compliment that statement and present it accordingly. If you plan on wearing a royal blue coloured suit, please for the love of Grace Kelly, do not try to compliment it with a red shirt and a yellow tie. You will look like a children’s finger painting gone wrong.

For a coloured suit, use basic shades to compliment your suit so that the suit is the most outstanding part of your outfit. Wear whites, greys, and blacks in your outfit; a blue suit would look smashing with a black button-up shirt and a white bow tie. If you’re daring enough, compliment the suit with a different shade of the same colour. A hot pink suit matched with a white button-up and a baby pink neck tie would look deadset phenom.

I wore a hot pink coloured suit to my year 12 graduation formal and was nominated for best dressed for my outfits. The light accents of a black shirt with a light silver neck tie complimented the outfit and made the pink suit the ultimate highlight of the outfit.

Guys, if you have a wedding coming up or something else of formal importance, don’t hesitate to try a coloured suit out. When done correctly, they can look just out of this world.

Just don’t try cross-colour. It is truthfully heinous.

– by The Black Widow