Tipping for Dummies: Round 4

Posted in Sports by

I missed most of round three (live) due to my other engagements. Errgh. I just want to sit home, watch footy and watch Doctor Who and get paid for it.

Everybody's favourite Tipping for Dummies!

Everybody’s favourite Tipping for Dummies!

SolSat’s predictions from round three: 5 of 8 (62.5%) Same score as last round. Dammit.

Friday March 28, 2014
Sydney Roosters vs. Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles
The eagerly awaited 2013 grand final rematch kicks off this round of NRL action as the premiers face the runners-up. Both teams have had an equally impressive start to the season, however Manly will be looking to right the “wrongs” from last year and beat the Roosters.
SolSat’s prediction: Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles
I am basing this purely on “we didn’t win last year so we’re going to get revenge and win this time.” Both teams are pretty on par with each other when it comes to skill and talent (the Pearce and Maloney duo is as effective as the Foran and DCE tandem) so I’m going to go with Manly on this one.

St. George Illawarra Dragons vs. Brisbane Broncos
The still undefeated Dragons who came very close to becoming wooden spooners last week clash against the Broncos who suffered their first loss of the season last week against the Chookies. The Dragons get a two-man bench extension to an otherwise unchanged side while Josh McGuire returns for the Broncos after suspension.
SolSat’s prediction: Brisbane Broncos
Okay so now I guess it seems I’m being biased but I’m really not. I think the Dragons are talented, no question about it, but I think their “luck” is going to run out tonight. The Broncos have stellar defense and a rough forward pack, they just choked in the last minutes last week. They’ll get back into form tonight with a game which will be contender for game of the round.

Saturday March 29, 2014
Canterbury Bulldogs vs. Melbourne Storm
In a game that sees no team with a real home advantage in Perth, the honestly disappointing Bulldogs will go up against the also-undefeated Melbourne Storm. The Doggies will have to pull out the big guns to get the win here but they are capable of doing so in high pressure situations.
SolSat’s prediction: Melbourne Storm
High pressure situation or not, the Storm are on fire. Ignoring the terrible accident with Alex McKinnon last round, the Storm had a phenomenal game and it truly shows you how dominant the Victorian team are. I expect a pretty solid win for the Storm.

New Zealand Warriors vs. Wests Tigers
The Warriors go up against the Tigers on Saturday in what would’ve been viewed as a “passable” game by the end of last year. Both teams (especially the Tigers), however, have made an emphatic point that they should not be written off so quickly, highlighted by their impressive wins last week.
SolSat’s prediction: Wests Tigers
I don’t know what’s happened to Farah’s team of Tigers… whether they’re drinking some of the magic water on Space Jam or what, but they are a totally different team. They are actually quite amazing to watch. I expect a pretty decent win over the Warriors here.

Parramatta Eels vs. Penrith Panthers
The western Sydney rivals collide in the last game of Saturday at Pirtek Stadium. Captain America starts in place of the injured Ben Smith while the previously injured Peter Wallace returns for the Panthers. Josh Mansour is still out with injury. Sadface.
SolSat’s prediction: Penrith Panthers
The same about the Tigers mentioned above could be said about the Panthers, except we know why they’re changed team – their off season. The Eels have it in them to win, no doubt about it, but I just expect a Penrith win here.

Sunday March 30, 2014
South Sydney Rabbitohs vs. Canberra Raiders
The Bunnies will once again play at ANZ Stadium as they take on the Raiders in Sunday’s opener. Both teams are coming off a loss last week and both teams have one win to their name so far. Greg Inglis has been named despite being taken out of the game in the early minutes last week, and Dylan Walker and Chris McQueen also return for the Bunnies. Shaun Fensom returns from suspension for the Raiders.
SolSat’s prediction: South Sydney Rabbitohs
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m tentative about this tip. If last week’s game for the Bunnies demonstrated anything, it was that they rely heavily on Greg Inglis. While their big man is back, the Raiders Edrick Lee is out, and that will play against them.

Newcastle Knights vs. Cronulla Sharks
The two teams on the bottom of the ladder with no wins to their name whatsoever play against each other at Hunter Stadium where one team is guaranteed a win. Both teams have been very disappointing in the early goings of the season and hopefully this win will bounce them both back up the ladder.
SolSat’s prediction: Cronulla Sharks
Even with Korbin Sims coming on for McKinnon (I love the Sims brothers), I don’t see the Knights taking the win here, however I do expect them to put up a good fight especially because they’re dedicating the rest of the season to McKinnon. God bless.

Monday March 31, 2014
Gold Coast Titans vs. North Queensland Cowboys
In the closing round game that is unfortunately not being played at 1300 SMILES, two of Queensland’s teams collide as the Titans host the Cowboys at CBUS Super Stadium. Zillman is out for the Titans while Aidan Sezer is in doubt. The Cowboys remain an unchanged side.
SolSat’s prediction: North Queensland Cowboys
In terms of overall form, the Cowboys have got it better, which is why I’m tipping them to win this one. Both of these teams are heavy final contenders so this could very well be a classic game.

My WordPress was playing up before so thankfully it’s working now; otherwise, no Tipping for Dummies would have been up for this round. And that would’ve been darn terrible.

– by Noah La’ulu

Riddle Me This, Batman

Posted in Opinion by

For most people, it seems hard to believe that we’re already four weeks into the first semester of Uni. For all intents and purposes ‘most people’ is a gross generalisation including anyone doing sciences, maths, nursing, sports, media and just about any course that isn’t forcing you to study philosophy.

For those of us poor souls who are studying the ‘Great infinite abyss’, it’s hard to believe we’ve survived this first month with The Riddler as our course advisor.

phil

Twice a week I rock up to uni and sit as my lecturer, my tutor and my peers intimately unravel the universe with questions like ‘What is thought?’ ‘How is thought?’ and say things like ‘Descartes’ theory of rationalism is sound in the knowledge that God is always able to perceive…’ blah blah blah.

I’m just that kid that sits in the corner with my eyes rolling in two different directions as the creepy voices in my head sing “round like a circle in a spiral, like wheel within a wheel…’ and blood drips slowly from the classroom walls.

Okay, so I may be dramatizing just a little bit, but if you were there you’d get it.

I am a person who, despite a deep-seeded hatred of maths and science, likes things to have answers. I like black and white, none of this ‘shades of grey’ crap.

Two plus two equals four. That is definite. Stop questioning it.

From what I’ve gathered so far, Descartes was just some guy who stood up one day, said “Cogito ergo sum” (which is Latin for “I think, therefore I am”) and impressed a bunch of other dudes who probably spent large amounts of time watching paint dry as an exciting alternative to listening to their mate Rene babble on.

A few years later, an Irishman named Berkeley put his Guiness down for a night to suggest that if a thing could be perceived it could exist, and everything existed because it was perceived by an all-seeing God.
Then a Scottish bloke named Hume came in, stirred shit up, argued with some other philosophers and then died just as confused as he was before he started asking questions.

Super.

You know what isn’t  great, though? I still can’t answer the really big, important questions about life, love and the universe.
Is a zebra white with black stripes or black with white stripes?
How long is a piece of string?
Do goldfish sleep?
Do Siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?
Do bartenders have to go to another bar after work so they can unravel their problems on someone else?
What do I actually want for dinner tonight?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?

I need someone to explain this to me in a way that isn’t terrifying. As it is, my tutor is great but I’m at that point where I can’t even be sure that I exist, let alone any of you or the world we think we live in. The only reason I know God exists is because I’m drinking a cup of it right now; double shot cap, no sugar.

If you start freaking out (which is totally understandable), don’t stress too much.  You can come and stay here with me – we’ll get bunk beds and matching jackets.

Home sweet home...

Home sweet home…

– by Blaire Gillies (I think.)

Tipping for Dummies: Round 3

Posted in Sports by

Two for two. Yeah baby Broncos. Whaaaat.

Everybody's favourite Tipping for Dummies!

Everybody’s favourite Tipping for Dummies!

SolSat’s predictions from round two: 5 of 8 (62.5%) This is an improvement from round one. I am dying to get a perfect score at least once this year.

Friday March 21, 2014
Wests Tigers vs. South Sydney Rabbitohs @ ANZ Stadium
In an odd “whose home game is whose” match, the Tigers take on the Bunnies in the opening game – the former of which is considered as the home team even though ANZ is more commonly associated with the latter. What makes this game even odder is that the team who came up with the big win in round two isn’t who you think it is… and that momentum may play in favour for the Tigers.
SolSat’s prediction: South Sydney Rabbitohs
Soznotsoz, Tigers, but I don’t think Robbie Farahrahrahrah’s team of Tigers can down the Bunnies, even with their close loss to the Sea Eagles looming over their heads. The Bunnies were a force to be reckoned with last year and they will no doubt be the same this year.

Brisbane Broncos vs. Sydney Roosters @ Suncorp Stadium
The baby Broncos take on the Sydney Roosters in their second straight home game. The Broncos are sitting nicely in second place on the ladder while the reigning premiers are a bit lower and look to regain their top position. This will be Martin Kennedy’s first game against his old team since joining the Broncos in the off season.
SolSat’s prediction: Brisbane Broncos
Okay hear me out. I know the Chookies are that damn dominant, but the Broncos have a fire in them I didn’t see much last year. Macca has been on fire in his position as starting hooker for the Broncos and combined with their new leadership, I don’t see why the Bronx can’t win this one. VERY close game, however.

Saturday March 22, 2014
Penrith Panthers vs. Canterbury Bulldogs @ Sportingbet Stadium
The Panthers have had a great start to the season with winger Josh Mansour impressing with his always-top form. Their next challenge comes in the form of the Doggies who, basically, demolished the Sharkies last week.
SolSat’s prediction: Penrith Panthers
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the Panthers had the best off season of all the clubs and their re-design has helped them greatly. The Doggies are playing good, sure, but they haven’t come close to their peak. I know they’re capable of more so I’m expecting a close game but a Penrith win.

Cronulla Sharks vs. St. George Illawarra Dragons @ Remondis Stadium
The last placed Sharkies will look to gain a bit of momentum but unfortunately have the task of doing so against the first placed Dragons. Fortunately for Cronulla, they get key playmaker Toddles Carney and Siosaia Vave back.
SolSat’s prediction: St. George Illawarra Dragons
Gareth Widdop. Need I say more? But seriously, the team as a whole are doing splendidly and it doesn’t surprise me to see them bounce from the bottom of last year’s ladder to the very top. Also… Gareth Widdop. It must be all the Justin Bieber he listens to.

North Queensland Cowboys vs. New Zealand Warriors @ 1300 SMILES Stadium
I’m sorry. I seriously cannot get over the name of that stadium. It suits Thurston so much. Smiles aside, the Cowboys come off a Queensland derby loss against the Broncos while the Warriors will be looking for redemption after losing against the Dragons last week in a whiplashing.
SolSat’s prediction: North Queensland Cowboys
The Cowboys are a strong force (they just couldn’t get past my boys rocksolid defence last week). Give the ball to Thurston and you might as well step aside and let him score. The Warriors, like the Doggies, haven’t hit their peak yet, and they better do so soon otherwise I don’t see finals footy in their future. Also, LOL. 1300 SMILES. That’s so cute.

Sunday March 23, 2014
Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles vs. Parramatta Eels @ Brookvale Oval
The peculiar 10th placed Sea Eagles hope to continue their winning ways and stay in form against the Eels who, like the Warriors, were steamrolled last week at the hands of the Chookies. Maybe the Eels just don’t do well against birds, and Sea Eagles are birds. Glenn Stewart returns for the Eagles while Peatsy returns for the Eels.
SolSat’s prediction: Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles
My bird theory aside, the Sea Eagles always do well against the Eels and I expect a similar outing on Sunday. Even with the return of Nathan Peats, who I consider one of my most cherished players (along with Hoppa), the Eels are no match for the Eagles, but the Parramatta side won’t go down without a fight.

Canberra Raiders vs. Gold Coast Titans @ GIO Stadium
The 11th placed Raiders host the 12th placed Titans at GIO Stadium… probably because one of the glass doors at Canberra Stadium’s broken. It’s interesting to note that the Titans scored their first victory in round one while the Raiders first tasted a win in round two.
SolSat’s prediction: Gold Coast Titans
Why Shillington is on the bench is beyond me, but that aside, I think the Titans have the slight edge over the Canberra side in this one. The Titans have the players to become a great team, they just need to find their “mojo”, to steal a word from Austin Powers. This’ll be one to watch.

Monday March 24, 2014
Melbourne Storm vs. Newcastle Knights @ AAMI Park
The Storm, who in my opinion should be performing way better than one point field goal wins, face the Knights who have yet to taste victory in the season so far. The Storm’s team remains unchanged from round two while the Knights have an extended bench with Fa’alogo wearing number 18.
SolSat’s prediction: Melbourne Storm
Putting aside the fact that the Storm are troopers, the Knights have let me down this season. I don’t know whether it’s because they’re without Mullen or they’re just not in the mood to perform well, but they have not been in form at all this season, and that will be the major contribution to the Storm’s victory.

I’ll be streaming my Broncos game tonight like a peasant seeing as we in Sydney get their game on half an hour delay. What is that?

– by The Black Widow

Common Romantic Misconceptions of Romeo and Juliet

Posted in Entertainment by

Because really, Romeo and Juliet isn’t that romantic.

When girls talking about finding their dream man, they will often refer to him as their “Romeo”. Guys don’t often talk to each other about feelings, but I’m sure if they do, they’ll call her their “Juliet”. I’d hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Romeo and Juliet aren’t as romantic as society makes them out to be. It seems as if people are too distracted by the artsy Shakespearean language to really understand what the characters are trying to say.

Don't be fooled by these young actors. They are misleading you! (CREDIT: Z. Smith Reynolds Library Flickr)

Don’t be fooled by these young actors. They are misleading you! (CREDIT: Z. Smith Reynolds Library Flickr)

Alas, as a Shakespeare enthusiast and all-around badass, I am here to set you straight and/or ruin your hopes and dreams.

Example one: The nurse and Juliet gossip like frivolous teenage girls
Picture two young women talking to each other about a man in today’s society. I’m sure their conversation would be along the lines of “Oh yeah, would bang” or “OMG put a baby in me.” Not in the slightest bit romantic, is it? That is exactly how Juliet and her nurse were talking about Romeo. “Why, he’s a man of wax”, a line that is famously quoted by Juliet, loosely translates into 21st century English and becomes “Crikey I’d go him.” Truth? Maybe. Romantic? Not unless you’re solely cruising for a root.

Example two: That balcony scene
This may be a bit too much for those who think this is the pinnacle of romance in cultural arts. It isn’t. Sorrynotsorry. Let’s start with the obvious one: Romeo is quite literally creeping on Juliet. I’m sure young ladies nowadays would freak out if they saw a guy watching them through their window muttering to themselves, so if it’s unacceptable now, why is it romantic a couple of hundred years ago? Creeper. Also, “It is the east and Juliet is the sun!” is, unfortunately, translated to “Farrrk I think she’s farrrkin’ hawt.” I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t creeping at her through the window.

Example three: I’d be sad if you died, but…
My (man’s) best friend died nearly four years ago now, God bless his soul. I wasn’t with him at the time of his passing which only added to the heartache I felt when I originally found out he had left me. Was I sad? Absolutely. I cried for that whole day and would often cry days later. Would I kill myself whilst sitting right next to him just so I could “be” with him? Um. No. This may be me sounding a tad cynical but what is so romantic about Romeo and Juliet killing themselves for each other? That is tragic and a tad bit obsessive. Not romantic at all.

Example four: Five minutes later
Granted, the star cross’d lovers probably had a bit more than five minutes to get to know each other, but they didn’t know each other all that long before they were prepared to give their lives for each other. I guess it’s kind of romantic, like the tiniest bit, but it’s intense and creepy overall. How would you feel if you met someone off Tinder and after their date, they were planning to kill themselves for you? Yes. Case closed.

I’m sure there are more examples I could use to highlight my point but you get the idea. Romeo and Juliet is not as romantic as it seems. Case closed. Soz not soz.

– by The Black Widow