Tag Archives: romance

Dating Nikki: is date ditching ever justified?

Posted in Dating Nikki, Lifestyle by

Dear Nikki,

A while ago, my friend set me up on a blind date with his girlfriend’s sister. His girlfriend was good looking, so I was expecting a goddess. When I showed up to the location, I met her: she didn’t really look like her sister, and she was dressed very down in track pants and thongs, and made little to no effort in her physical appearance. Okay, not a good start, but I was fine with that. Before we went to our movie, she wanted to stop by Woolworths. I said okay and went with her. She went in and stole lollies from the confectionary aisle right in front of me… and the total value of said lollies were about $6. I would have easily paid for those lollies if she asked, but no. She shoplifted on a first date.

After that, I told her that I was just going to run to the toilet before going to the movie. I went straight to the train station and went home. I don’t regret my decision at all, but the backlash from my mate’s girlfriend was not pretty. Were my actions justified?

The Maverick

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Dear The Maverick,

I think in this situation, your actions were very justified. I’m sorry, but if someone shoplifted in front of me – whether it be on a first, date, tenth date, or our wedding night – and thought it was a really good idea, I would definitely ditch the date. No questions asked. That situation just shows you what kind of person she really is… a dishonest one. And what’s the point in dating someone if you can’t trust them because you know they’re dishonest?

I appreciate the fact, however, that you didn’t ditch because she looked daggy or wasn’t what you expected. One of my things on first dates is dress to impress, but don’t overdress to the point that you look like you’re going to sip some sparkling wine at the opera. I will always dress presentably on first dates. In saying that, if she was that comfortable in her trackies and jandals, then that’s fine. May not be your (or my) cup of tea, but I’m glad you were willing to overlook that somewhat trivial aspect about your blind date.

Of course, ditching dates isn’t a good idea, but everything depends on the situation. Hell, even something as big as killing someone could be justified depending on the situation (like self-defence, and in no way am I advocating the murder of people, I’m just using that as an example). If you would’ve ditched the date because she was wearing trackies, then I wouldn’t give you the thumbs up at all. I would’ve called you shallow and a wanker. Or possibly just a shallow wanker. But leaving because your date thought it’d be a good idea to steal lollies worth a small amount? LOL. Yep. Good job mate.

I hope your mate’s girlfriend knows what she had done so she can understand why you did what you did. If she doesn’t? Just redirect her here to Widows Lure so she can see your side of the story. And my sage advice. Curtseys.

Happy dating… and go the Broncos!

– by The Black Widow

If you have a question or need some good ol’ fashioned blunt advice from #DatingNikki, use the Contact page on our website and put in your comment “Subject: Dating Nikki”, or alternatively send me an e-mail at widowslure@gmail.com and put “Dating Nikki” in the subject line. I will respond to your cries for help as soon as possible!

Sex Talk: the Mechanics of a Threesome

Posted in Lifestyle, Sex Talk by

No, I’m not talking about playing three-player on Mario Kart 64 either.

Welcome to the first edition of Sex Talk, where we talk about what kind of pastels work well with these boots sex. Today’s topic: threesomes. You know, when there are more than two people in the room engaging in sexual acts.

A friend of mine recently participated in a threesome and told me about his/her experience. After listening to his/her story, I was under the impression that the basic mechanics of how a threesome “should” work may not be as widely known as I expected because the threesome didn’t turn out as well as it probably could have.

Typically speaking, threesomes occur when a couple want to broaden their horizons and therefore invite another individual into their budois. (REALLY hope someone caught that Will and Grace reference). It can be a good thing for a couple to do for a couple of reasons: 1) One might be worried about the other’s wandering eye and therefore initiates a threesome so that their lover can explore someone else’s sexuality within the boundaries of the relationship and; 2) The spark in their sexual relationship may be dying and so having a threesome might revive their sex life and make it that much better for all parties involved.

Despite its sexual nature, this picture's still kinda cute. (SOURCE: Image by © Ben Welsh/zefa/Corbis)

Despite its sexual nature, this picture’s still kinda cute. Like, look at their serious faces. (SOURCE: Image by © Ben Welsh/zefa/Corbis)

But the question remains: what should and shouldn’t you do in a threesome? To make it easier for you to read, I’m going to break it down into two parts: the couple and the third wheel, so if you fit into either category, you can easily locate what you probs can and can’t do. Featuring The Charge and The Lover (The Couple), and the Third Wheel (the other person).

The Couple (The Charge and the Lover)
DO set some ground rules for the threesome. Stick to something you feel comfortable with. For example, The Charge could be comfortable with The Lover performing sexual acts with the Third Wheel, but not with kissing.
DON’T get jealous of your lover getting intimate with the Third Wheel. If those feelings arise, a threesome is definitely not the thing for you to re-spark your sex life. May I suggest dressing up as Batman and Catwoman and chasing each other around the room?
DO communicate with The Lover and the Third Wheel during the threesome to find out what you like/dislike and what they like/dislike.
DON’T treat a threesome as a competition with the Third Wheel. You are not racing to see who can please The Lover the most. What happens if you lose, hmmmmmm?
DO interact with both The Lover and the Third Wheel. I mean, you might as well since they’re there. No one person should be the main focus point of this sexual activity.
DON’T focus your attention on one person (either The Lover or the Third Wheel). That’s when shit hits the fan. DO find an open-minded Third Wheel to participate with.
DON’T find a Third Wheel who you know. Third Wheels should ideally be someone you don’t know so no one gets attached to anyone they shouldn’t be. And no awkward moments happen when you see your mate the next day and you say “Hey I really like that thing you did with your back last night. See you at work!”

The Third Wheel
DO respect the boundaries of The Couple. You are there solely to accommodate the needs of The Charge and The Lover. Don’t make this about yourself.
DON’T intrude too much. If you find The Couple are a bit more reserved than you thought, maybe it’s a good idea for you to sit back and watch and wait. They may need to loosen up a bit more.
DO pay equal amounts of attention to The Charge and The Lover. It’s sweet and complimentary.
DON’T complain or demand something. There is no way of putting this nicely. You are there as a piece of meat. No one is getting attached to you in any kind of romantic way, so don’t demand a cuddle or a cigarette because when your job is done, it’s done.
DO explore your sexuality. Use this as an opportunity to experiment and find out what you like and don’t like. You might find that threesomes aren’t your thing, and at least you learned that firsthand, right?
DON’T try and outperform either The Charge or The Lover. Just don’t.

If you have any other sex topics you would like discussed on Widow’s Lure, feel free to contact us via e-mail. Throw us a message with “Sex Talk” in the subject line to widowslure@gmail.com. Here’s to a happy threesome!

– by The Black Widow

Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

Posted in Entertainment, Movies by

I will see you now, Mr. Grey.

The movie I have been waiting for what seems like forever finally came out today and I could not have been happier to see the first session at my local cinema. Fifty Shades of Grey was finally made into a movie!

Starring Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey himself and Dakota Johnson as the most boring character in the world, Anastasia Steele, the film follows the first novel of the Fifty Shades series, documenting their first meeting along with their interesting business agreement and other exciting ventures. As someone who has the entire series, as well as being a fond admirer of Mr. Grey, I had big expectations to live up to. How did the movie fare?

Surrender yourself to this film. See what I did there?

Surrender yourself to this film. See what I did there?

Well, I’d just like to say that I was not disappointed. The film did the story pretty well and the events in the novel were captured greatly; it took me back to when I was reading the novel and it was pretty much exactly how I pictured it. The problem that most movies face that are based off books are inconsistencies and staying true to the book, however I feel as if this movie captured the book pretty well with no real noticeable mistakes made.

My issue with Jamie Dornan heading into this movie was that he looked too friendly to play Christian Grey. Jamie is a handsome young gentleman who seems very approachable and charming, while Christian Grey is dark and brooding and is meant to intimidate you right down to your core. Dornan wasn’t my first choice for Christian at all. In saying that, he played his role pretty well, and I found him to be a good Christian. Sure, there’s always room for improvement but I think he took the ball and ran with it and I commend him for his performance.

Dakota Johnson, however, was quite underwhelming in her role, and I can’t tell whether it’s because her acting skills leave little to be desired, or Anastasia is that boring of a character that putting in no effort is exactly the way to go. She showed some signs of fire when playing the “cheeky Ana” but other than that, her acting did absolutely nothing for me. And she also needs to invest in some nice underwear. Those saggy whites gotta go. Girl bye.

One of the biggest talking points of this film was “how are they going to make this movie and not turn it into a porno?” Well, I think they did well in that aspect also. The sex scenes were quite steamy and there was some chemistry evident between the two main characters. The way the cameras changed and the different angles used in the sex scenes concealed everything they wanted to conceal and it was done in a tasteful way that made it less porno and more “movie that happens to have sex in it”. Some of the bits were quite surprising and even startled me, someone who admittedly has an open mind to almost everything. There was one bit where I was sitting there watching them getting at it and then suddenly there was a quick shot of Dornan’s wang, and I was like “Oh good golly, where did that come from?”

Wid-o-meter
Storyline: 7/10
Casting and acting: 6.5/10
Experience: 8/10
Overall: 7.5/10

For those who have read the novel, and for those of you who haven’t but have a curiosity about Fifty Shades, I recommend this film to be watched as soon as you have the pennies to do so. It was a good watch and I found myself crying at one point (don’t ask why). There’s always room for improvement but I wasn’t disappointed… well besides the ending, but let’s not get into that.

– by The Black Widow

Review: Temptation

Posted in Books, Entertainment by

This just in: Alexis Summers is a dumb bitch. Hold on, I’m getting ahead of myself.

The latest novel to be reviewed by The Black Widow is an adult romance novel entitled Temptation by K.M. Golland, which is the first in a series. The premier novel in this series introduces the heroine named Alexis Summers, who is a married woman in her mid 30s with two kids. Sounds peachy, right? Well…

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.” - Johnny Depp

“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.” – Johnny Depp

After nine years of being a stay-at-home mum, she’s happy to get back into the workforce as a hotel concierge in Melbourne, working for the typically drop dead gorgeous male protagonist, Bryce Clark. Sparks fly and Alexis is challenged: should she give into temptation – pun intended – or stick with her loving husband Rick?

Now, where was I? Oh right. Alexis is a dumb bitch.

I found the character of Alexis completely repugnant and I did not at any time throughout this novel ever sympathise with her whatsoever. She was hypocritical, annoying (almost as annoying as Ana from Fifty Shades, and that’s saying something) and just hella inappropriate. And she fell way too easily for Bryce. She literally sets eyes on him and is all like “OMG I LOVE YOU GET IN ME”. Girl bye.

On the other hand, however, I will say that I didn’t mind Bryce. After you’ve read as many raunchy adult novels as I have, the “attractive, wealthy and witty” male protagonist effect kind of wears off, but I still found Bryce quite likeable. There’s something about a man that knows what he wants kind of attractive, even if it is someone else’s wife. Hey, I’m not here to judge. Even though Alexis is a dumb bitch. Golland certainly wrote her characters pretty well.

In saying that, however, there were some scenes throughout the novel that I found really unnecessary. Some parts of the story weren’t actually germaine to the story, and that to me was a bit of a turn off. I will say that Golland did plant the seeds of a very interesting series and I will definitely be getting into the next crop once my skyscraper high pile of “books waiting to be read” dies down a bit. The language she used was very easy to read and it made for one of those books that you could read at the beach, in a bus or in the comfort of your own bed. I think I read the second half of the novel in one go and refused to put it down.

Wid-o-meter
Storyline: 7/10
Style of writing: 7/10
Overall: 7/10

If you’re looking to have your fancy tickled after having it chained and whipped by Fifty Shades, then I suggest you pick up this novel and the rest of the series. I’m sure it’ll tide you over for when the Fifty Shades film comes out on Valentine’s Day… or Anti-Valentine’s Day, if you’re like me.

– by The Black Widow