The franchise that started it all.
If you’ve stayed up to date with my Housewives rankings so far, thank you. I also appreciate that you don’t judge me for watching the cities in such a random order.
I’ve finished my watch through of all of the episodes of Real Housewives of Orange County, and am currently watching season 17 as it happens live. And I’m shocked that a city I thought I wouldn’t really like turned out to be one of my most favourite Housewives franchises.
As of writing, including season 17, RHOC has had a whopping 26 housewives, which isn’t surprising when you consider how long the show has been running, and how many one season wonders they’ve had (some of these one season wonders deserved longer runs, but more on that later.)
Anywho, here are my rankings for the RHOC wives!
26. Kelly Dodd
Probably the most vile human to be featured on any Real Housewives show ever. If her antics on screen weren’t bad enough, her behaviour off screen was 100x worse. I don’t even feel comfortable typing her name out in full without asterisking it. Good riddance and stay away.
25. Vicki Gunvalson
I don’t get the hype around Vicki at all. She was constantly lying, shirking responsibility or accountability, rarely apologised for all of her wrongdoings, and let’s not forget her part in Cancergate (and how she just got away with it by screaming). Sure, she had some iconic moments, but that doesn’t make up for being a horrible person. Extremely overrated and doesn’t deserve the praise that she gets from Housewives fans IMHO.
24. Braunwyn Windham-Burke
A woman that literally sacrificed her husband and her seven kids for fame, Braunwyn had the potential to become a great housewife but fumbled it so hard in her second season. I’m glad she’s living her true queer life, but to put your family through that and essentially disown them is gross.
23. Gina Kirschenheiter
A lot of people can’t stand Gina, but I initially wasn’t one of them. Sure, she’s annoying and overproduces herself for made-up storylines, but there is a down-to-earth likeable quality about her. Until season 17 came along, and now I genuinely cannot stand her. How one person can make someone else’s infidelity from years ago about them is beyond me.
22. Quinn Fry
Our first one season wonder on the list, Quinn is easily the most forgettable. She was introduced halfway through her season, which was a short season to begin with, and I can only remember her for being a cougar.
21. Kimberly Bryant
I thought Kimberly had potential to be a great housewife. She was blonde, had big titties, and had a likeable quality about her. Her run on the show only lasted the first season, which prevents her from going any higher on this list.
20. Peggy Sulahian
Peggy is probably the most odd choice of casting of this franchise, although I feel as if Peggy was only brought onto RHOC to try and recreate the scandal of Cancergate. She had the rich and extravagant lifestyle of a housewife, but didn’t fit in with the rest of her cast, which is probably why she only lasted one season.
19. Elizabeth Lyn Vargas
The fever dream that was Elizabeth Lyn Vargas. If she had popped up at any other time, she would’ve left a better impression, but since her season was marred with Covid and lockdown, her time on the show was very come-and-go. Her personal storyline of escaping a cult was very gripping, however.
18. Jen Armstrong
Jen was the more likeable version of RHOBH’s Teddi Mellencamp: pretty and blonde, but dull, monotone, and overall boring as a housewife. Her crumbling marriage led to some interesting storyline, but her impact on the show was considerably less than her other season 16 newbie, Noella.
17. Lynne Curtin
Lynne was lowkey iconic as a housewife. She was beautiful, deluded to the point of living way beyond her means, and her personal storyline of being evicted from her house was drama af. Her children were the bane of my existence, however. I wouldn’t mind seeing Lynne guest appearances in future.
16. Peggy Tanous
Another housewife that, had they been given more time on the show, would’ve had a much larger impression. Peggy was stunning, blonde (two features of a stereotypical RHOC housewife), and was not scared to go toe-to-toe with her friend Alexis.
15. Jeana Keough
If certain reports were to be believed, we have Jeana Keough to thank for Real Housewives, as she was apparently the first woman cast to be on RHOC. Initially serving in a supporting role, Jeana actually worked better for her cheque as a FOH. Who can forget the iconic fight she had with Tamra in season six?
14. Tammy Knickerbocker
Probably someone no one expected to be this high on the list, I actually really liked Tammy. I thought she was stunning and served gripping personal storyline and would’ve loved to have seen her get a couple of more seasons on the show. Her children were also the bane of my existence, however.
13. Noella Bergener
Noella had everything I was bound to like in a housewife, especially as the first black housewife of RHOC. She served drama, personal storyline, got involved in group discussions, and was absolutely beautiful. There is, however, something called overdoing it, and Noella just came too hard in her first and only season of the show. By midway, she was just too exhausting to watch.
12. Lauri Peterson
Lauri was stunning, serving straight MILF for her time on the show. She was always transparent about the things happening in her life, especially the bad parts, which is a quality I look for in a housewife. Unfortunately, her personal struggles took her off the show, but when she rejoined as a FOH, she was out for blood, and we loved to see it.
11. Jo De La Rosa
Jo was automatically my favourite from the beginning of the show as being the young beautiful POC of the otherwise older white group. I think it’s fairly safe to say that the show was going to be centered around her, especially if her centre orange status in season 2 had something to say about it, but she soon left before season 3. If there’s any RHOC housewife I want to make a full time return, honestly it’s Jo.
10. Lydia McLaughlin
Another wildcard on my list, I actually really loved Lydia. She was a gentle soul that served her role as peacemaker of the group really well. In saying that, she was not scared to go up against another housewife, as shown during her tenure in season 12 (the iconic menu toss, anyone?)
9. Jennifer Pedranti
I’m sure if I had written this after season 17 finished, Jennifer would be higher on the list. This beautiful blonde is open about her personal life, including the fact that she was emotionally unfaithful to her husband, and homegirl did not skip a beat in gathering Crybaby Gina and telling her to trot off. After a lull in the past couple of seasons, Jennifer is an amazing new addition whose debut performance suggests she’ll kill it in future seasons.
8. Emily Simpson
Emily has always been unfairly paired with Gina because they started the show in the same season and grew to become besties, but Emily shouldn’t be compared with Gina in terms of what she brings. Emily is naturally funny, absolutely beautiful, is not scared to either get amongst it or serve as peacemaker, and has an interesting life compared to her casita counterpart. Additionally, Emily thrives when she’s not being weighed down by Gina, so we need to see more of her.
7. Gretchen Rossi
Even though Tamra is credited for creating the blueprint of a housewife today, she wouldn’t have been able to do it without Gretchen Rossi, especially as Tamra vs. Gretchen is considered to be the first Housewives feud ever. Gretchen was brought on as the stereotypical young blonde gold digger, and when she moved onto Slade and had less of a financial backing, Gretchen stayed clocked in and came to work, especially at the expense of Tamra.
6. Lizzie Rovsek
The one season wonder that definitely deserved a way longer run on the show, Lizzie was really thrown in the deep end in season 9. Shannon instantly bonded with Tamra and Vicki, and the rest of the cast were already established, so Lizzie really had no one on her side. But Lizzie came to work, serving personal storyline and growth, and she inevitably played probably the most pivotal role of the Tamra takedown that took place in season 9. A beautiful brunette queen who deserved more.
5. Alexis Bellino
Ms. Sinful Body herself, Alexis was such a great example of the ‘traditional’ housewife: loyal and faithful to her husband; loves God and her Christianity; and was absolutely stunning with her trademark blonde hair and big boobs. Alexis was not afraid to work for her cheque, and she was not afraid to go up against the longer standing wives like Vicki and Tamra. And she’s only grown to be more likeable since leaving the show.
4. Shannon Storms Beador
There is no word to describe Shannon. She really is her own type of housewife. Quirky in her own type of way, Shannon came in and completely changed the dynamic on RHOC. She was not scared to be vulnerable and show her life, especially so quickly in her first season, and she definitely does not back down from anyone. Shannon stays an important part of RHOC and its success.
3. Meghan King Edmonds
Meghan was a young housewife brought into a group of already established older women, which seems to work against most. But Meghan came in like a house on fire, sharing her personal woes of being a step mother and wanting her own biological children, and of course, uncovering Cancergate like the modern day detective that she is. Things settled down in her later seasons, but no bigger splash was made in a housewife’s first season of RHOC than Meghan.
2. Tamra Judge
The blueprint of the Real Housewives, Tamra essentially created what we know and love today by uttering six words: “Did you go to Bass Lake?” Tamra shifted the entire dynamic of Real Housewives by turning it on its head and transforming it from a documentary about rich women into the fierce, dramatic reality show it is today. Stunning, dramatic, over-the-top, passionate, and full of energy, we should all thank Tamra Judge for our Bravo obsession.
1. Heather Dubrow
My number one Real Housewife across all of the franchises, Heather completely changed the dynamic of RHOC with her touch of class, elegance, and extremely lifestyle porn way of living. Don’t underestimate Fancypants though: she will go up against anyone, stand strong in her truth, and is not afraid to get her hands dirty if needed. The iconic petty goddess we all deserve as Housewives fans, Heather Dubrow is definitely the It Girl of RHOC.
I am really loving season 17 as it unfolds, and it definitely seems to be a return to form of the glory days prior to Kelly Dodd ruining the show with her filth.
Anywho, to all of my readers – peace, love, and champs!
– by The Black Widow
Category Archives: Entertainment
The Housewives of New Jersey: Ranked
Spoiler alert: Amber Marchese is not number one.
I actually finished this series a while ago, but let’s pretend that this is fresh in my memory and I only completed it like five minutes ago. (Why does this sound familiar?)
Real Housewives of New Jersey came highly recommended from my sister, and once it was time for me to begin a new city, it was an easy decision for me because I really wanted to see why Teresa Giudice is so iconic. And how blessed was I to see the table flip was in the very first season.
As of writing, RHONJ has had 15 full-time housewives, however I will be ranking the twins together, so let’s begin the rankings!
14. Amber Marchese
No shocker here really. Besides having sympathy for her for being a cancer survivor, there was nothing likeable about Amber at all. To make matters worse, she came with her husband, whom was an even more horrible person. I’m glad she only lasted one season.
13. Teresa Aprea and Nicole Napolitano
Look, truth be told, I didn’t mind the twins. They were shady and engaged in drama when needed. Season six was just such a fever dream, and sometimes I don’t believe their time on the show was real.
12. Margaret Josephs
Marge is the Lisa Rinna of RHONJ, and I don’t mean that in a nice way. She never really provides any personal storyline, and her sole tactic to remain relevant on the show is to interfere in other people’s lives and stir up drama and then walk away (after pushing a grown man into a pool). To make it worse, she then cries in that horrid accent.
11. Siggy Flicker
Siggy was cute on her first season, as we all know I love the sweet peacemaker housewife archetype. And then her second season happened, and it went downhill ever since. Let’s not get into her social media antics; we’d be here all day.
10. Jackie Goldschneider
I want to like Jackie, and not just because her husband is foiiiine. I appreciate that she came into the show and was not scared to engage with the big dog Teresa, but she came across as very calculating and malicious, and then she’d cry when someone retaliated against her.
9. Melissa Gorga
As much as I want to like Jackie, I doubly want to like Melissa. She’s pretty, she’s… pretty, and she’s… pretty. Honestly, I don’t know what else she has to offer on top of that, besides being the gateway for Joey being on the show, because let’s face it, he contributes a whole lot more to RHONJ than Melissa does.
8. Caroline Manzo
Caroline almost doesn’t seem real to me. During her time on the show, she had such an untouchable mob boss air to her that it was so interesting to watch. She would be a whole lot higher on this list if she didn’t side with the guy who put a hit on her sister, but go off sis.
7. Jacqueline Laurita
To be honest, I really liked Jacqueline prior to season seven. She was funny, relatable, and watching her journey with her son was one of the most heartwarming things I’ve ever watched on any franchise. And then season seven happened. Enough said.
6. Teresa Giudice
It’s no secret that Teresa is that girl of RHONJ, and she is so iconic for a reason. She’s a natural in keeping the storyline and drama going, and really is the alpha of this franchise. As much as I adore Tre, I do acknowledge that she is deluded and struggles to take accountability for her wrongdoings. Excellent mother, though.
5. Kathy Wakile
Again, it’s no secret that I love the sweet, peacemaker non-confrontational housewife, and Kathy served this role during her time on the show. I loved her and I loved her family, and when she had to bring it, she did. An unbothered queen.
4. Dolores Catania
Not every housewife is meant to be the alpha, and there are different roles for everyone to fill. Dolores does a great job filling her role as the best friend of the alpha. She’s beautiful, funny, not scared to show us her real life, and will take a bitch down if she has to. And giving us Dolores means we also get Frank, and I would take a bullet for that man.
3. Jennifer Aydin
Jennifer serves as the Heather Dubrow of RHONJ, and I’m absolutely here for it. She’s hilarious, unashamedly herself, shady, and will get into it when she has to. Her fights with Melissa and Marge are so iconic. I stan a queen.
2. Danielle Staub
True to her tagline, you either love or hate Danielle, and I loooove Danielle. I think she’s the most misunderstood housewife of any franchise. As much as RHONJ‘s success is attributed to Teresa, I think the same argument could easily be made for Danielle. Without her, the first two seasons wouldn’t have soared like they did. Also, I was totally on her side when she dragged Marge. Don’t poke the bear if you don’t want the bear to snap.
1. Dina Manzo
Dina was my first favourite, and throughout the entire show, she still remained my favourite. As shady as she is stunning, Dina could go into her namaste zone as quickly as she could go into going toe-to-toe with someone. Honestly, I would’ve hated season six if it didn’t contain the return of my New Jersey queen.
Now that we’ve endured the same cast without any major changes for four consecutive seasons, I’m excited to see what the next season has in store for us. Hopefully more table flips tbh.
– by The Black Widow
Porsha and Stephanie and Camille, Oh My!
Spoiler alert: this is not a Real Housewives post.
If you are a frequent reader of Widow’s Lure, then you know that I am unapologetic about two things: one, I looooove me some Real Housewives and I don’t care if it appears to be my one personality trait, and two, I’m living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and do my best to bring awareness to an illness that usually goes under the radar.
As these two different worlds are such a big part of my life, it should come to no surprise that they were going to collide at some point. Allow me to explain how (and why!)
One of the biggest symptoms of BPD is having rapid, uncontrollable mood swings. In a normal day, I can go from content, to happy and sweet, to bitter and angry, to sad and insecure in the space of two minutes. I can get triggered by the smallest things, actions or words, and my mood can change at the drop of a hat. 
A big personal victory for me is recognising that I suffer from these mood swings; recognising this has actually helped me in controlling the mood swings to the best of my ability, and reining it in when necessary so I don’t explode and damage those around me.
In an effort to recognise when I go into a certain mood, I’ve nicknamed these ‘personalities’, and would you believe it — I named them after some Real Housewives!
Allow me to introduce you to the women that live rent-free in my head, and give you a brief description of each of these personalities:
Erika (after Erika Jayne from RHOBH)
Key traits: sad and insecure
Formerly known as Mrs. Girardi (but since she’s divorced, I had to update the name accordingly), Erika is probably my strongest mood. Erika thinks everyone is out to get her, and those closest to her have ulterior motives when pursuing a friendship or relationship with her. Erika believes that her favourite person is constantly trying to leave her, and grieves the possibility of losing them even though they’ve expressed no desire to leave her.
Porsha (after Porsha Williams from RHOA)
Key traits: angry and rageful
Porsha will get hood with you at a second’s notice and she doesn’t care how “ghetto” or “ratchet” she appears. Armed with hoop earrings that will fly off if you test her, Porsha uncontrollably lashes out at you if she feels you’re abandoning her and will absolutely verbally annihilate you if she feels threatened. As you can tell, Porsha is definitely the most dangerous of my personalities, and the one that most requires a cage.
Monique (after Monique Samuels from RHOP)
Key traits: jealous and spiteful
Monique essentially serves as the bridge between Erika and Porsha. Erika will feel sad and insecure, and without any action, it will turn into jealousy. Enter Monique. She is territorial and believes what’s hers is rightfully hers. If you spend time with her favourite person, then you best watch out because Monique’s irrational jealousy can quickly turn into Porsha’s rage.
Stephanie (after Stephanie Hollman from RHOD)
Key traits: compassionate and sweet
On the other end of the spectrum to Porsha is Stephanie. Stephanie speaks with her own soft, slightly higher-pitched voice, and is very kind and caring to those that she loves. Not afraid of comforting a friend or hugging them, Stephanie is the calm voice of reason that will support her friends and family at the drop of a hat.
Camille (after Camille Grammar from RHOBH)
Key traits: sexy and confident
Camille is drop dead gorgeous and she knows it. While Stephanie will accept a compliment with a pure sincerity, Camille will acknowledge it as fact and even question why you decided to bring it up in the first place. Camille walks with a strut, flaunt her best assets any chance she gets, and will use her alluring charm to get what she wants when she wants.
Teresa (after Teresa Giudice from RHONJ)
Key traits: deluded and dry
Teresa almost lives in a fantasy world where what she believes in is the law, and she doesn’t understand when others try to bring her down to reality. As a defence mechanism for when those question the state she lives in, she speaks fluent sarcasm when really she is defending the hurt she’s feeling. Teresa longs to be acknowledged, and only in her fantasy world is where she can get the attention she craves.
Naming these personalities of mine has helped me move in the right direction of regulating my moods to the best of my physical ability.
When I have that feeling of going from Stephanie to Porsha and I can recognise it, acknowledging that is the first step towards regulating my moods and emotions to have healthy conversations as opposed to Porsha literally dragging someone. When I know that Erika has taken over, I can recognise that this feeling of insecurity and inadequacy will past.
This is not to say that all of these personalities are either good or bad. If I’m out with friends and one of them is aggressively being hit on, it’ll be Porsha that jumps in and defends them; Monique’s jealousy is really a sign that Monique has a pure, sincere love for that person.
As for which personality is writing this blog article… it’s probably Camille.
If you would like more information on BPD, please feel free to visit any of the following links:
BPD Australia
Helping Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
– by The Black Widow
The Housewives of Miami: Ranked
Come feel the rush.
I actually finished this series a while ago, but let’s pretend that this is fresh in my memory and I only completed it like five minutes ago.
My fellow Bravo historians and connoisseurs alike, I invite you to come feel the rush with me as I rank the Real Housewives of Miami. This franchise is interesting considering there was an eight year gap between season three and season four, and just for the record, I am so glad this show came back. The Bravo hill that I will die on is that season two of RHOM is one of the best Housewives seasons ever, of any franchise.
Bras and brawls aside, here are my definitive rankings of the Miami housewives.
13. Larsa Pippen
Larsa is definitely on my top 5 most hated housewives of all the cities, so finds herself at rock bottom of this list. I don’t think there is anything genuine about Larsa at all. Everything about her screams pretentious, and I’m not about it. This is in no way shaming her body or “alleged” surgeries, because I don’t think anyone should be shamed for wanting to get a procedure done to make them feel better about themselves; it’s more to do with the fact that she as a whole person, to me, is fake.
12. Adriana de Moura
I struggle to understand why so many other people like Adriana when she’s an absolute mess. She starts drama for literally no reason and is always the one to take it too far, yet people praise her for it. I believe underneath the forced drama queen that we see on TV there is a decent human being underneath it all, but I don’t have the patience to find out.
11. Marysol Patton
I swear to god, if I see this bitch and her bedazzled tumbler one more time, I will lose my mind. Marysol’s storyline for the early seasons was leeching off her iconic mother, and her storyline for season four was leeching off Alexia. Regarding Marysol herself, however, there is nothing interesting about her at all. She’s just Alexia’s sidekick. Wow when did my blurbs about housewives become so harsh?
10. Ana Quincoces
Speaking of boring. I honestly don’t understand what Ana’s contribution to season two was besides telling everyone that Karent’s man was sliding into her DMs. If you took Ana out of season two, the entire season would’ve been the exact same. Thank u, next.
9. Cristy Rice
There’s always one housewife in each city that I would love to see more of, but they only last one season and never appear again. Cristy is Miami’s version of this. I thought Cristy had the potential to be the fun, messy housewife that naturally attracted drama, but before you knew it, she was gone.
8. Lea Black
To put it shortly, Lea Black was the LVP of Miami. She was rich honey, and she knew how to be a sniper from the sidelines. But she wasn’t scared to get involved in the drama either. Her annual Black Galas always provided good entertainment, and I’m sure season four would’ve been that touch better had the gala been included.
7. Lisa Hochstein
Despite all the glitz and glam that Lisa has, there is some endearing down to earth quality about her that I love. Even though she married into wealth and is rich af with all of her Birkin bags, I found her to be quite relatable. Her recent antics on Twitter, however, keep her from going any higher on this list.
6. Julia Lemigova
Julia played her role of the peacekeeper and the one that everyone generally liked pretty well on season four, even if she randomly decided to put Larsa on blast at the table for no reason. Her claiming her hangover to be an illness was pretty hilarious, but what puts her high on this list really is the battles she’s faced in her personal life and how stronger she has come out on the other side. Also I will always back the first housewife to be in a same sex marriage on any Housewives show.
5. Karent Sierra
Ghost producing legend Karent Sierra comes in at number five with pride. Every franchise needs that bone collecting housewife to keep the drama going, and Karent did that so well that she almost might be better than Sheree at it. So much drama revolved around Karent, who quite frankly wasn’t even doing anything wrong, that you couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. In saying that, the whole bras and brawls drama, we can all thank Karent for that.
4. Guerdy Abraira
Guerdy is probably the perfect example of a perfect housewife for this show. She excels in her career and is her own independent woman, has a handsome husband and beautiful kids, and has style like no other. Everything about her is just so darn likeable. I can’t wait to see more of this Haitian Queen in new seasons.
3. Alexia Echevarria
My favourite OG by far, Alexia serves personal drama like no other housewife can. Her life is just so genuinely interesting that she doesn’t really need to engage in the group drama dynamic in order to be worthy for the show. Beautiful, stylish, and a champion mother, Alexia is definitely the Queen Bee of RHOM.
2. Nicole Martin
Nicole started off season four as “that boring housewife” as I felt her contributions to the show were small. Until Marysol tried coming for her and she dragged her for filth. That fire Nicole showed was automatically my favourite thing of the entire season. Nicole serves shade, drama, rich bitch energy, and is not scared of a fight, and we stan her for that.
1. Joanna Krupa
She said skinny legend, and that skinny legend is Polish supermodel Joanna Krupa. Never have I seen such messy queen energy before unlike the dynamic performance Joanna served, especially during the bras and brawls fight. Joanna was definitely top-tier housewife material, and it’s a shame we only got to see her antics for two seasons. Joanna carried season two and three and for that is my MVP of RHOM.
Rumours are swirling that season five of RHOM is currently filming, and I truly hope it is because this is the franchise that is serving on the down low, and we need more of it pronto!
– by The Black Widow
Widow's Lure 