Category Archives: Lifestyle

Dating Nikki: First date small talk

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Now introducing a new segment for Solstice Satisfaction… Dating Nikki! No, unfortunately you won’t be able to live your long dream of dating me, but you will be getting dating advice, tips and tricks from yours truly. Ta da!

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First date small talk…
Because you can’t exactly let the other person know just how unstable you are on the first date.

First impressions are the key on first dates and you want to be able to give off the vibe that you are one sick chick/cool dude. You should know enough about your date that it won’t be a complete mystery (unless it’s a blind date, in which case… stay tuned). Of course, this is the first time you have been intimate with this person in a dating sense, so there is bound to be some tension and/or awkwardness in the air. That is where your good friend “small talk” will come in.

You’re sitting down at the table at a nice restaurant: you have already broken the ice by telling her how beautiful she looks or telling him that he looks like Vin Diesel. You’ve exchanged weather pleasantries, talked about the safe drive to the destination and have been in awe of the font that the restaurant menu has used. Now where do you go?

DO

  • Ask how your date’s day and/or week has been.
  • Ask your date a little about their lifestyle – their employment, education, hobbies, etc. Try not to say “So what are your hobbies?” because I find that is a very difficult question to answer, and I have plenty of hobbies. If you find you have something in common, cling to that topic for a bit, but don’t let it dominate your conversation; you’ll sound forced if you do.
  • Play a little game of “Three Lies and a Truth” to break the ice and let your date know just how damn extreme you are. If you’re not extreme enough for Three Lies and a Truth, then go for 20 Questions (NOTE: change the number of questions at your desire)
  • Joke around with your date to take some of the awkward tension away. By joke, I don’t mean “So, a mate and I got drunk one night in a public bathroom…” kind of joke.
  • Share an interesting story about yourself that is relevant to your date or the conversation. If your date asks you how you are and you bring up a story about how your pet rabbit died ten years ago, then, well… just no.

DON’T

  • Bring up any past dates or romances. Ever. Ever. Ever.
  • (If at a dinner) Initiate conversation while your date is clearly trying to eat. They will feel pressured to keep up a conversation when all they want to do is eat.
  • Start a question with “So…” You’ll sound bored. And ignorant.
  • Make it so obvious that you’re keeping up small talk for the sake of making small talk. Unless you’re on something, which I strongly advise against on a first date, you will hate small talk. Don’t make it obvious that you hate it.
  • (If at a movie) Talk during the movie, unless it’s COMPLETELY necessary. Example: “Excuse me, I have to use the restroom” is accepted, “You should’ve seen what happened on the train today” is not.
  • Dominate the conversation. Each dater should have an equal amount of “air time”.

Small talk is uncomfortable for every party involved, so try and make it less painful for everyone by being confident and by being yourself. A forced small talker just seems fake, and, like, they have something shoved up their yoo-hoo. That’s bad, by the way.

Want a specific topic of the wide world of dating covered? E-mail me at widowslure@gmail.com and I will get to your dating plea as soon as possible.

Happy dating everyone!

– by The Black Widow

Fear of Flying (Pteromerhanophobia)

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A melody of scraping gears and spitting engines are disabling my ability to form a rational argument. A green light is glowing over my page, but I can’t look up because it shines from the seatbelt sign of doom – a sign that the plane will soon plummet to the earth with trims of fire, and nuts and bolts vital to the aircrafts structure will rain down against my window. These are the supposed last words of someone deathly afraid of airplanes.

Hang in there, buddy, you only have 22 hours to go.

Hang in there, buddy, you only have 22 hours to go.

A fear of flying (Pteromerhanophobia) is extremely common, but even so, as a fellow scaredy-cat, it seems that people still don’t fully grasp the concept. Most of us realise and acknowledge that the fear is highly irrational, so no amount of plane statistics or taunting will suddenly make us love these big metal birdies.

Many fears can be conquered with large amounts of exposure, but the average person doesn’t fly by plane as frequently as they do other modes of transport. This can lead to an acute fear of flying, and the inability to even step into an airport, which defeats the possibility of traveling to see distant family and friends or travelling for work.

What is more damaging than this, on top of the effect on your social and professional life, is developing a fear of the actual fear – basically wrapping the anxious thoughts in a scratchy blanket of super anxiety. This often happens to me, and more times than not the fear of my fear on the plane will engulf me even two days prior to my actual departure. Even a seemingly silly phobia can lead to full on anxiety, which can trigger super not fun things like depression.

So why? Why would anyone be scared by the safest way to travel? It is something a toddler can do, something millions of people do everyday – but here I am, writing to distract myself from the terror in my mind and the sweat on my palms.

It’s not as easy as pinpointing a traumatic experience and tracing your fear back to the event. This is true for some people, but truly most people are fearful because of their already established phobias. If you are afraid of any of the following things then you are highly susceptible to a fear of flying:

Heights

Small spaces

Panic attacks

Motion sickness

Turbulence

Terrorism

Not being in control

But the most common…

The plane crashing and you dying on impact

However, a lot of people, including myself, know that almost all major airlines that have crashed have had zero fatalities.

Like any other fear, this one doesn’t come with a handbook complete with quick fixes. Thankfully, because it is so common there is a bunch of information and helpful tips to help anyone overcome it. But in all my late night googling and browsing it seems that no one has said this: Everyone is different and every flight is different.

There are so many variables when flying that it is close to impossible to control every reaction you have; thoughts and feelings prior, levels of anxiety, length of the flight, portion of the flight, being accompanied – the only thing I could say that might be helpful is that it takes a lot of time and practice to get over, and sometimes you have to take it as a challenge to conquer, rather than a memory to suppress.

And now that my plane has landed and I’ve stopped crying, I have to prepare myself for the overwhelming embarassment. So for all my other scaredy-cats out there, the next time someone teases or looks down on you for this phobia, or any for that matter, just remember that absolutely everyone has an irrational fear – find their weakness and destroy them.

– by Josefina Huq

My Digital World

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Journalists have been wondering whether digital publishing may take over print publishing completely. According to a survey recently conducted, they have every right to wonder.

Is it time to say buh-bye to newspapers?

Is it time to say buh-bye to newspapers?

In a survey taken by Australians aged between 18 – 30 with a balance of males and females (conducted by yours truly), more than half chose digital publications over print publications. Some of the reasons that supported this choice ranged from being easier to read than print to appearing more eco-friendly than print. The majority of those in favour of digital publishing thought that digital publications were easier to access via their smartphones or tablets and it could be done in the comfort of their own home, while print required more effort to obtain.

“I feel like in today’s modern society, it is more easy to grab a hold of a story, like if you hear something from someone, you can just Google it and it (the answer) [will] be there for you,” 18-year-old Morgan Graves-Burnnand said.

Justine Crowley, freelance media/creative consultant and book publisher, believes online publishing is popular because it is “more flexible all round.”

“Online articles and books enjoy more longevity than their print counterparts,” she said.

While she is a big advocate of digital publishing, Justine doesn’t think that it will completely take over.

“Print will still have its place, although it is clearly evident that online publishing is increasing.

“There are many people who still prefer to read a print book and/or magazine, yet more and more of the mainstream media is also dominating its publishing efforts online,” she said.

One of the main benefits of digital publishing that I have noticed with SolSat, Justine hit the nail right on its rearing head.

“Writers and editors enjoy greater flexibility in terms of working hours, and if you make a mistake – no sweat, your article can simply be fixed and re-published in nearly all cases,” she said.

Ain’t that the truth.

Thirty-five per cent of those surveyed, however, believed that they benefit more from print than digital.

“I find it easier to concentrate while reading hard copies of things,” Jason Miller, 20, said.

Scott Bailey, the editor of Rugby League Player magazine, believes when people can actually feel the publication in their hands, they can be a part of it.

“It’s hard to immerse yourself in what you’re reading [in digital]. When you’ve got a magazine in your hand, you feel involved in it and you feel a part of it,” he said.

Scott thinks that one of the reasons more young people are turning to digital publications because it is cheaper.

“When you wake up in the morning and you want to check the news, your mobile phone’s right there.

“We’ve been brought up in the computer generation and we’re used to stuff on the screen,” he said.

Scott said digital will never completely take over “because there will always be a need for print.”

– by The Black Widow

Check out Justine’s profile here. (The woman is incredible)
Check out Rugby League Player’s Facebook page here.

‘Tis The Season To Be…Frugal?

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It’s the age old question we all face at Christmas: What do we do with all the shit gifts? In fact, I think it started with the baby Jesus who woke up on Boxing Day and said “WTF is Myrrh?”

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Despite knowing we’re never going to use the lifetime supply of handcreams given to us by various colleagues and Grandmothers over the years, we all feel a certain sense of obligation to keep them. In every household there is a drawer filled with unwanted mugs, tea cosies, soaps and candles that have never left the wrapper. Every year the pile grows and we’re forced to find more and more places to stash the miscellaneous items we would rather do without.

Unless you’re me. I’m a big fan of the four ‘Rs’: reduce, reuse, recycle, regift- especially at Christmas.

REDUCE- When it comes to Christmas, there are two old sayings to consider; ‘Less is more’ and ‘it’s the thought that counts.’ Wrapping tons and tons of presents in thousands of layers of bubble wrap and tissue paper is fun until you stop to think about how full landfill gets when everyone throws it out on December 26th.
I understand the excitement people get over giving gifts to the people they love, but I’m a huge advocate for gifts like sponsoring a Koala or buying a goat for a family in Africa. Gifts like this make everyone feel good and ensures that we don’t entirely destroy the planet before the next holiday season.

REUSE- Giftbags were a wonderful invention. Aside from being more environmentally friendly, gift bags eliminate the hassle of trying to wrap awkwardly shaped gifts like teapots and tennis racquets. Stick it in a bag and Bob’s your uncle.

RECYCLE- My Gran, bless her, takes half an hour to unwrap a present. She unties the bows, taking care to smooth them out so the satin doesn’t crumple and then moves on to the stickytape which she removes in slow motion to avoid tearing the paper which she then irons, folds up and uses the next year to wrap other people’s gifts in. As a kid I was a huge advocate for the whole ‘ripping into it like a madman’ thing but as a starving, unemployed uni student, I am suddenly a huge fan of saving paper so I don’t have to waste $2.99 on a roll of dancing Santas.

And finally, REGIFTING, an art form with more tactical rules than a game of Dungeons and Dragons.

  1. Keep a list of all the presents you don’t want and who gave them to you. The last thing you want to do is give crazy Aunt Betty the yaks wool socks she gave you the year before in exactly the same gift bag.
  2. Product packaging must be intact. You can’t regift a perfume if you’ve already opened it to take a whiff and decided that perhaps ‘Au de Gasoline’ wasn’t for you.
  3. Sometimes, if you think it’s shit, it probably is. Handcreams from the supermarket and $2 Shop makeup and candles are top of the regifting list. Nobody wants them, but we don’t want to waste them so we’re forced to decide between throwing them in the cupboard with Nan’s hankies or regifting them. My advice? Kris Kringle. I’m fairly sure that was a tradition started by an absolute genius who had a whole lot of shit to get rid of.
  4. Never regift with the original gift-givers’ community. If the ugly yellow teatowels came from a work colleague NEVER regift them to another work friend. The original giver is bound to find out and you will be shunned, Mean Girls style, until you quit your job and move overseas. To avoid an expensive international relocation, make two piles in the regifting cupboard. Label one as work and the other family/other. Each year, give the gifts from your family members to your work mates and the gifts from your colleagues to your Great Auntie Edna and the neighbours. Unless your work life and home life cross over, in which case you’re fucked.
  5. One -of -a -kind items may as well have a house- arrest bracelet on. If that little beacon beeps anywhere but your place, the gift-giver, their family, the Australian Government and possibly the CIA and the ICC will find out and torture you. Handmade/commissioned/specialty items are the hardest to regift. By their very nature, unique items always get noticed and you can’t run the risk of your neighbour’s best friend’s sister’s dog walker commenting on it and sending word back to the person who gave it to you. You’re best to keep the ugly paintings in the garage for someone else to deal with when you sell the place.
  6. Your reaction has to match the gift. Don’t open a shitty present and immediately start a one man melodrama. Gushing about how beautiful a scarf is and thanking someone eighty-five times in sixty-three seconds isn’t subtle. They know you hate it, you know you hate it and everyone else in the room is wondering which one of them you’ll be giving it to in twelve months time. A simple ‘Oh isn’t that interesting’ or ‘Gee, that’s different’ is all you need. Non-committal, semi-honest and reasonably painless. Done. Move on.

So before you rush out to do all your last-minute Christmas shopping this December, have a look through your cupboards and see what you’ve got stashed away from last year and go from there.  Remind yourself that regifting is not heartless or inconsiderate, it’s sensible, economical and environmentally friendly to boot!

– by Blaire Gillies