Review: Beautiful Bombshell

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While I impatiently await the arrival of Beautiful Player, here’s a review for Beautiful Bombshell because the boys are back! #boysnightout #hangoverpart4

RELATED LINKS: Widow’s Lure reviews Beautiful Bastard
Widow’s Lure reviews Beautiful Bitch
Widow’s Lure reviews Beautiful Stranger

The boys are back in town!

The boys are back in town!

 

Beautiful Bombshell – the fourth in the Beautiful series by Christina Lauren – features the two male protagonists (Bennett Ryan and Max Stella) from the previous books as they intend on going out for a wild night for Bennett’s bucks night (or stag night, as is called in North America apparently). Their night of manly fun with Will and Henry, however, is altered by the appearance of two sexy females.

You know how I said in Beautiful Bitch that the fiery, sexual chemistry between Bennett and Chloe had stagnated? And their personalities had been a bit watered down? Yes, well, that wasn’t the case in Bombshell and I absolutely loved it! Bossy Bennett and Sassy Chloe were back in full force! These were the characters I fell in love with! Max and Sara were as “adventurous” as they were in Stranger so just from the first two chapters of this novella, I could tell that this was going to be one erotic rollercoaster.

The storyline in this book wasn’t as enthralling as the storylines in the previous books, however, I was still hooked from start to finish in this humorous take of a bachelor’s bucks night. This is pretty much The Hangover in book form. The men are pissed and are up for a wild night of fun, starting at a seedy strip-and-other-erotic-adventures club. Nothing really major happened in the book really besides Bennett’s revelation at the end which I thought was a bit adorable. The events of the book, however, were hilarious that I would actually start giggling on the bus and then I would have to try and hide the fact that I was laughing in front of a gazillion other people.

The way the book was written was different than the previous books. Since the two characters featured in this book were Bennett and Max – both being of the XY chromosome – they both received their own fonts however their name was stated at the beginning so the reader knew who they were seeing as female font and male font couldn’t be used. I thought this was very interesting, and I’m not quite sure why. Either way, bananas are still yellow and apples are still red.

Bennett Ryan is probably one of my favourite fictitious characters – ever. Along with Michael from Sundays at Tiffany’s and Princess Peach. There are so many dimensions to him and his confident swagger is just amazing. He’s calm, he’s cool, he’s collected, he’s also a horny bastard who knows what he wants and how to get it. I haven’t had the same connection with Max Stella as I have with Bennett and I’m not sure whether that’s because he came second or because he isn’t as suave as Bennett. Although, Max is as multi-dimensional as Bennett so I can say that he isn’t a bland character.

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 7.0/10
Style of writing: 8.2/10
Overall: 7.6/10

This was a more funny read than it was romantic and I like that they’ve introduced good humour into the series. Although this had plenty of passionate lovemaking and downright inappropriate fondling (here’s looking at you, Sara and Max), I would still recommend this book based on the comic factor. Poor Will, didn’t know what he was getting into. I have to praise Christina Lauren on their excellent work on the Beautiful series and I absolutely cannot wait for the next installment!

– by The Black Widow

The F’n Worst GTA Onliners

Posted in Entertainment, Video Games by

So here I was, laying on my couch playing some GTA Online at the middle of the night because a) I couldn’t get to sleep and b) GTA Online is amazing. I’m doing a mission of stealing two cars from people who don’t defend their cars whatsoever and then you drive the cars to a location and Bobsuruncle. I had two partners on the mission. Sounds like a walk in the park, right? Well, tell that to my nitwit partners who drove off as if still playing in freemode and didn’t assist me in the slightest.

Summer says hello from the world of GTA Online!

Summer says hello from the world of GTA Online!

After that dreadful altercation, I’ve decided to pinpoint and name the worst gamers to play GTA Online and describe just how irritating they are.

The Clueless Mission Partner
As described above in my terrible experience, the Clueless Mission Partner is the smartarse who will join your mission and do absolutely nothing to help you just so they can reap the exact same rewards you get for doing 100% of the work. That is the major issue I have with GTA Online – rewards are split in team deatchmatches depending on how much you contributed to the team which is fair enough. In missions, however, everyone gets the same money and experience points. So, unfortunately, if you are paired up with one of these morons, you’re just gonna have to bite your tongue and get on with the job – or you could run them over. That’d be acceptable, methinks.

The Obsessive Killer
Ah, the Obsessive Killer – the tool who goes around killing everyone for no reason other than to be a troll. Unfortunately the sad truth is that if you wanted to avoid the Obsessive Killer, you’d probably have to hide in the mountains or stake out at Sandy Shores because these losers tend to frequent GTA Online a lot. If one is chasing you and you try to take refuge in good ol’ Ponsonby’s, don’t worry – they’ll take advantage of a glitch and come in and gun you down for no reason. Alternatively, if they haven’t figured out the glitch, they will literally wait for you to walk out so they can gun you down or try and shoot you through the window. I have been a part of all three.

The Bounty Coward
What’s a good way to earn some quick money? Getting bounties. What makes it unnecessarily difficult, however, is when the person who has the bounty on their head hides out in their apartment and will literally stay in there for as long as necessary. Technically, one is allowed to do it but it really should be more frowned upon than it is. It’s annoying and slack to the players in the same session who want to make a quick buck. If you really think about it, you don’t really lose anything if you’re killed – unless you’re carrying loads of cash – so you really have nothing to lose if you give yourself up.

The Creepy Stalker
While these aren’t that frequently seen on GTA Online, I’ve had my fair share of run ins with them. These are the players that choose to follow you around for no reason – they won’t kill you at first, they just feel the need to be in your general presence. I once had a guy follow me for half an hour for no reason and after I killed him for his creepy behaviour, got into a helicopter and tried to gun me down. Don’t, people. Just don’t.

The Vengeful Moron
You kill another player, whether that be on purpose or by accident, and you drive off thinking nothing of it. Nekk minnit, that player is following you to get their revenge. And once is never good enough for this person. After they get their initial first kill, they’ll just keep following you and following you like a jealous ex who is out for blood. I will admit, I have participated in vengeful quests – only after someone found it necessary to kill me four times in a row.

The Trolling Thief
You get out of your personal car that cost you a gazillion dollars to upgrade and walk into your nearest Suburban to get some new threads. You walk outside with your new clothes and – oh look at that – your car has gone because someone thought it’d be funny to break into your car and drive off. I don’t even have words to describe these ones. Just no.

While all of these “characters” could be described as simply “trolls”, they are all guilty of making an MMORPG like GTA Online – which is probably one of the most fun MMORPG’s I’ve ever played – not fun. If you fit into one of these categories, please stop what you are doing and re-evaluate your life. There are far more important things in life to achieve. Thanks.

– by The Black Widow

The Different Paths to a Man’s Heart

Posted in Lifestyle by

“The way to a man’s heart is through stomach and sports.”
Two Can Play That Game, 2001 film

The wise words of Shante Smith are so accurate. Ladies, pay good attention to this. You see that guy over there that you’ve been dying to make yours but you don’t know how to seize him, leash him and place a nice “OWNED” sticker on his forehead? (NOTE: not really). SolSat is here to help you win a man’s heart.

Do as I say and you will have your man in the palm of your hand, much like Shonte here.

Do as I say and you will have your man in the palm of your hand, much like Shante here.

A man’s gotta eat!
Men like to eat. Men like food. Men like to eat food. Now don’t take this as a sexist “I am not becoming a 50s housewife and delegating myself back to the kitchen” kind of thing because it’s not like that. It’s simple: men love food. Surprise the man with your stellar cooking skills and invite him over for a fabulous dinner. If you are kitchenally challenged, don’t worry – if you have to sneak in some takeaway through the back door, slap it on a plate and call it your own, go for it. The happier the man’s stomach, the happier the man. Ask around for his favourite dish and “just happen” to cook that for him and he’ll be putty in your hand.

Up the Broncos!
Can I just say that anyone who has the same passion and fire for rugby league will automatically shoot into my favourites list, especially if they have the same love for the Broncos, All Blacks or any of my other sporting teams. Most men love their sports or at least have an interest in it, and nothing is sexier than a woman who knows the difference between league and union or how to kick a solid 40m conversion. In saying that, don’t go out of your way to impress him with sports knowledge if you literally have none – nothing is more painful to watch than girls babbling about how they love sports and the only athlete they know is Sonny Bill Williams. Bitch please. NOTE: don’t overdo it, otherwise you might friendzone yourself.

The endangered species of the girl gamer
Just as much as men love sports, they also love their video games – if not made apparent by the gazillions of “He broke my heart so I broke his Xbox”-esque pages on Facebook. Wow the man with your team deathmatch skills on COD and your impressive knowledge on the Tarkatan clan from Mortal Kombat.  Just the same as sports, don’t over do it in case of friendzoning.

Love me, love me, say that you love me
No I am not advocating you walk up to a random man at a bar and say “Oh my god I think I love you”. That’s creepy. No, what I’m saying is to appreciate your desired man by complimenting him and making him feel as if he’s the only one.  While this sounds very feminine and most men wouldn’t openly admit to feeling like this, the truth is that most men like being treated like royalty and will most likely want to wife you if you do so.

Most importantly: be yourself
I know this may seem a bit contradictory as it appears that I’m telling you to change yourself for the sake of a man, but that’s not my intention. If you don’t want to get off your arse and cook or watch a game of footy, don’t. However, it’s always wise to use your talents and knowledge to your advantage. Men (at least, the good ones) can see through an act so if you’re trying too hard to be someone you aren’t, they’ll see through that and be turned off. Nothing is more appealing than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and does not apologise for being herself. Men will appreciate this and will like this about you.

In interviewing some men for this post, I found a couple that said “they aren’t won over too easily”, so follow my rules and that man will change his ways and be putty in your hands. Putty, I tells ya.

– by The Black Widow

Review: Outback Dreams

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I had the most interesting story in purchasing this book. Not really. I was without a phone and had to locate my brother in a huge mall the old fashioned way and, along the way, stopped by my new favourite store Dymocks. Giving up my mission to find him for just a second, I stumbled upon this read and seeing as I love anything country, bought it without really reading the blurb.

The story of Faith Forrester and Daniel "Monty" Montgomery.

The story of Faith Forrester and Daniel “Monty” Montgomery.

Outback Dreams by Rachael Johns follows the lives of Faith Forrester and Daniel “Monty” Montgomery, two people who have been best friends since they were children. Faith is unsatisfied with her life – being single, having half a degree, slaving in the kitchen for her father and brother – and is looking to revitalise herself. Monty is working hard and striving for his dream – owning a farm of his own after being snatched from it so early in his life.

Oh. Em. Gee. Can I just first start this review by saying this is literally one of the best books I’ve read in a very, very, very long time? I couldn’t have become more involved in this story even if I wanted to. In what was supposed to be a quick casual read, I first opened the book and didn’t put it down until I was halfway through and I needed to go to sleep at 2 in the morning.

The storyline was one of the most interesting ones I’ve encountered recently. I loved the outback setting (#imalittlemorecountrythanthat) and it made me think of my childhood in Bathurst where everyone knew everyone and it was nice. The evolving relationship between Faith and Monty was absolutely contagious and I found myself emotionally invested in the love and relationship between the two. The inclusion of other characters such as Ruby made it all the more captivating and it thrust me as a reader into the town as if I knew everyone and I was there.

Faith as a character was a hit-or-miss with me. Sometimes I found her to be funny and quirky but to me, she had that “typical romance novel heroine” feel about her – pretty but she doesn’t know it, insecure, lacking confidence. After you’ve been through a lot of romance novels like I have, the mould gets a bit tiring after a while. Monty, on the other hand, filled the boots of charming cowboy perfectly. His conscientiousness to achieve his dreams was admirable and he was just too damn sweet!

The style of writing was different in that it was written entirely in third person but was done in a way that you still knew what both characters were thinking and what they felt. If you were in Faith’s perspective, the writing would match her thoughts, feelings and her daily tasks and if you were in Monty’s perspective, same jist. I found this third person kind of writing very refreshing and I think Rachael wrote it well, making me as a reader empathetic with both characters whilst keeping me out of their heads. It’s a hard task to accomplish but she nailed it.

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 8.8/10
Style of writing: 8.4/10
Overall: 8.6/10

If there is a book you should go out and buy or borrow or steal or strip naked for, this is the one. Outback Dreams had the right mixture of sweet romance and comedy and sex in it and was, in my humble opinion, one of the best books I remember reading recently. If you’re a romance lover, or you just want a good read, SolSat DEFINITELY recommends picking up this one to perouse!

– by The Black Widow