Tag Archives: reality tv

The Housewives of Atlanta: Ranked

Posted in Entertainment, TV by

We’re back with some more Real Housewives Content!

As Sydney is currently in lockdown because people can’t just stay tf home, I’ve had a lot of spare time on my hands. This means that my task to finish all 13 seasons of Real Housewives of Atlanta which would’ve normally taken me probably a full year has nearly been done in four months, my mind is bursting with some iconic RHOA quotes like “Bye ashes!” and “The lies! The lies! The lies!”

12_3-RHOA13

During the 13 seasons of Real Housewives of Atlanta, they have featured 15 main cast housewives, which again does not include the “friends of” Queens like Marlo Hampton and Tanya Sam, or the guest appearances from people like “that bitch” Yovana. Or Jovana. Whatever. I don’t know her.

Much like I did with the Housewives of Beverly Hills, I will be ranking the Housewives of Atlanta in order of how much I stanned them or how much I absolutely detested them. Except I will be doing this myself as Emilie hasn’t watched RHOA. Sadface.

So here it is. RHOA’s bombshells ranked!

15. Kenya Moore
Probably the easiest placement on this list. It’s said that you’re either Team Porsha or Team Kenya, and I cannot fathom how anyone could be Team Kenya. She’s a deluded shit-stirrer who provokes people and then acts surprised when they react. She’ll do anything to be the centre of attention, and not in a cool way either, and she can’t support her friend’s happiness if it isn’t about her. Kenya is gone with the dust storm at the bottom of this list.

14. Kim Zolciak-Biermann
If Kenya wasn’t featured on this show, then Kim would easily be at the bottom of this list. If Kenya is the Princess of deluded, then Kim is the Queen. Granted, her drags of the other women were way more entertaining than Kenya’s, and when it was Kenya vs. Kimn I found myself on Kim’s side. 

13. DeShawn Snow
This rating comes from a lack of getting to know DeShawn. She was only featured in the first season which had like eight episodes. I thought she was sweet and cute and would’ve loved for her to hang around longer.

12. Kim Fields
I loved Kim Fields. I thought she was fabulous and was a nice refined change from the usual RHOA messy drama. However I didn’t think she was good fit for the show solely because she was a change from the usual RHOA messy drama. But don’t get it twisted: she’s Kim Fields, bitch.

11. Claudia Jordan
I thought Claudia was a nice addition to the RHOA franchise, and I especially enjoyed how she had no shame in reading people. She didn’t contribute much to storylines, however, and her biggest impact on the show was her being self-conscious about her toes. Also she loses a few point for being friends with Kenya.

10. Lisa Wu
If Lisa had stayed on the show for a few more seasons, she would’ve flourished and would’ve easily been found higher on this list. She wasn’t about the drama but wasn’t scared to drag a bitch if she had to. Plus, she loves money as much as I do. Yay her.

9. Nene Leakes
I have a very strong love-hate relationship with Nene. For one, I admire how outspoken and outgoing she is and find her energy to be really infectious; she really was the life of the show in each season she was featured in. In saying that, however, I find her to be quite narcissistic and manipulative, and if things don’t go her way she tends to drag everyone else around her down. 

8. Phaedra Parks
Ms. Phaedra Parks was not high up on my list after her first season or two. She was too secretive and kept her cards close to her chest, and was almost as deluded as Kenya. But then in the later seasons she let loose and became one of the more fun ones, almost as much as Porsha. Making up really defamatory rumours about Kandi, however, prevents her from going any higher on this list.

7. Shamari DeVoe
Let me put this out there: I thought Shamari was a fantastic addition to the cast, and I don’t know how producers thought to get rid of her in favour if a returning Kenya. She was not scared to be herself, and there was something about her that was just so fabulous. Also we love drunk Shamari. Bring her back. Get rid of Kenya.

6. Sheree Whitfield
Sheree is someone else I started off not liking, but then after season one I came to really like her. Her shade is better than anyone else’s – I mean, who can get past “Who gon’ check me boo?” – and in the production sense of the show, she was not afraid to stir up some drama. She ain’t called the Bone Collector for nothing.

5. Kandi Burruss
I love Kandi. I think she’s someone to be looked up to by all. She’s a savvy businesswoman who loves her family, loves her children, and loves the freedom of expression and to be yourself. I also admire her ability to stay out of the drama – “won’t start none, won’t be none” – but by far her best quality is the ability to talk about sex openly. Sex is a conversation I want to be more accessible for people, and Kandi (Koated Nights) is helping forge that path.

4. Drew Sidora
Drew was the reason I started watching RHOA in the first place. When I saw she had been cast in Season 13, my interest piqued because I loved her prior to the show, so that’s when I chose to watch the show. I thought she was a fun addition to Season 13, and her battles with LaToya really made the season. Well, that and the infamous Dungeon Party.

3. Porsha Williams
If my constant dragging of Kenya didn’t make it obvious, I’m all for Team Porsha. Porsha is an enigma; there are really no words to describe her because she is just such an individual. In her first season, she was a much more reserved version of herself, no doubt because of her then-husband, but once that broke off, the fun, wild and energetic Porsha that everyone grew to love emerged, and we love that bitch.

2. Cynthia Bailey
Cynthia is everything I want to be. She’s stunning; she’s fabulous; she’s successful; and she’s Cynthia Bailey. Now what else is going on? Cynthia is one of the more level-headed women of RHOA who will get into it if she has to, but prefers to stay outside of the drama. And that’s something that’s really to be admired, especially on a reality show where’s it kind of expected to start shit for no reason. 

1. Eva Marcille
Obsessed is an understatement. If Cynthia Bailey is everything I want to be, Eva is that and some more. Well spoken, absolutely stunning, and the shadiest queen of them all a complete sunflower, Eva hits the top of my list as my favourite Housewife of Atlanta. While she has gone out and said she won’t be returning to the franchise, I hope she changes her mind. She was a great addition to the cast, and absolutely knew how to handle herself in a tense situation. Women always have trouble in their first season of the show as their lives are thrown into the spotlight, but Eva handled probably the best out of any of the above women.

Did you have a different set of rankings to us? Who was your favourite housewife? Let us know in the comments!

– by The Black Widow

Nine Reactions to the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Pilot Episode

Posted in Entertainment, TV by

Why was I blessed with the love of trashy reality TV?

November 12, 2020 was very special to me for three reasons:
1. It was my best friend Sian’s birthday (happy birthday girl!);
2. I received my PS5 which, as of writing the day after, is still on installing all of my games and updates, and;
3. The pilot episode of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City debuted!

A bunch of Utah queens… Jen and Heather are also pictured.

I have been looking forward to this particular installment of the Real Housewives franchise for several reasons. For starters, my granddad lives in Salt Lake City and I’ve been there a few times to see him, so I’m quite familiar with the city itself. Furthermore, all my immediate family are Mormon (I’m not, but that’s irrelevant) so I have a good understanding of the Mormon church and culture and wanted to see if the housewives who identify as Mormon fit that understanding (spoiler alert: they didn’t).

So while my PS5 was installing game updates, I booted up my Chromecast and began watching the first episode of RHOSLC. I was pleasantly surprised, troubled, but most importantly amused by the episode.

Here are some of my first reactions to this episode:

SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

1. Jen Shah is an actual moron
I’m well aware that the Real Housewives franchise are full of larger than life characters, and I really like some of them (Erika Jayne, NeNe Leakes etc.) Jen Shah is a larger than life character, however she is an obnoxious, self-centered larger than life “character” who planned a “birthday party” for her “friend” but made it all about herself, and not in the funny way either. At no point did I find myself liking her, and I’m already looking forward to the day where she’s dropped from the show. In saying that, I don’t think she will be, as her type of personality is what makes these shows so iconic, so unfortunately she’s probably here for the long run.

2. Meredith’s son Brooks made an iconic decision
We’re introduced to Meredith, her husband, and her son Brooks. Brooks apparently decided to take a semester off uni/college/whatever they call it in the US to spend more time with his family. Translation: he took a semester off uni to be featured on RHOSLC because he found out his mother was cast as a housewife. Iconic.

3. Whitney is a skinny hilarious Queen
Look. I’m not gonna lie about it. Watching the preview videos and especially the taglines for this show, I was not impressed with Whitney at all. She’s proud of having an affair with a married man 18 years older than her, and her voice makes me want to bang frying pans together to drown out the noise. Watching this episode, however, changed my mind completely. She’s gorgeous, she’s true to herself, and is so adorably ditsy that I see myself in her. Come on Bravo… let’s give this Queen the more air time that she deserves!

4. This drama smells like a hospital
The major drama in this episode, which will apparently be continued in episode two, was that Mary told Jen that she smelled like a hospital. That was it. That was the drama. To make it even more strange, Mary has a long back story about why she’s traumatised about the smell of hospital, and Jen believes that Mary shouldn’t have said it because Jen was taking care of her aunt who had both legs amputated at the hospital. The Rinna/Kim restaurant fight in Amsterdam is embarrassed by this hospital smell shit.

5. Heather is a loser an acquired taste
The name Heather is synonymous with beautiful, popular girls due to Heather Chandler’s revolutionary impact. Heather from RHOSLC apparently missed that memo, as not only is she unbearably deluded, but her emotional attachment to getting acknowledgement from Lisa is actually pathetic. If someone claimed they didn’t know me even if they did, I’d shrug my shoulders and move on. Heather is apparently going to start drama about it. Grow up, Heather.

6. Lisa is a bad bitch
You know when you look at someone and you can just tell they’re a bad mf bitch? Enter Lisa Barlow. Not only does she appear to be so unapologetically herself, but I’m also lowkey a fan of the way she disregarded Heather’s petty ass (refer to above). When starting a Real Housewives show, you quickly pick your favourites, and Lisa Barlow is clearly going to be my favourite.

7. Why is it a chalet and not just a house?
The first housewife we’re introduced to is (unfortunately) Jen. You’ll quickly see that the lower third states that you’re in “Jen’s Chalet”. No. Not her house, or her home, or even her mansion. It’s specifically a chalet. I don’t know if this is just because I can’t stand Jen, but how f’ing pretentious.

8. Mary = style icon
Our first glimpse of Mary is when she’s meeting up with Skinny Queen Whitney for drinks. Mary is seen wearing a very eccentric outfit, which others have slammed as bad fashion. I, on the other hand, love it. I always appreciate out there bold fashion choices, and while I personally wouldn’t wear Mary’s outfit, she rocked it like a boss. But on the other hand…

9. Who forces their granddaughter to marry their husband?
Mary’s grandmother died, and in her will, it was instructed that ‘one of her girls’ has to marry her husband to inherit her legacy. As it is, Mary ended up marrying her step grandfather, and it’s made out as if it was completely against her will but she did it anyway. Wtf.

I’ll be frank: I don’t watch Real Housewives shows for some quality television because I’m well aware they are trash. But sometimes good trash is what you really need, and I cannot get enough of this good trash.

Very excited to see episode two now. It’d just be better without Jen and Heather soz not soz.

– by The Black Widow

Ten Things The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Taught Me

Posted in Entertainment, TV by

You guessed it. Another article about the icons of RHOBH.

In its simplest form, RHOBH is a spin off of the popular Real Housewives franchise, showcasing the dramatic lives of glamorous women with more money than they know what to do with.

But underneath the ‘trashy reality’ exterior it has, this iconic show has some important life lessons for all kinds of people. From not being afraid to speak your mind, to ensuring you dress to the nines for a pyjama breakfast together, the ladies of Beverly Hills are full of knowledge and wisdom, and I am going to pass these nuggets of gold down to you. You’re welcome.

They probably don’t look impressed because someone didn’t listen to number nine. (Photo taken from Greg Palmer’s Flickr photostream)

1. Pat the puss
Self explanatory really. Thank you Erika Jayne.

2. Never put your handbag on the floor
This is a superstition I have never heard of before watching this show. The belief is that putting your bag on the floor indicates losing money as it goes right out the door. Now, you will never see me put my Coach on the floor, whether it’s near impossible to hang it up somewhere or not.

3. No matter how insignificant the problem may seem to you, bring it up
One thing that I’m trying to become better at as a human is validating my emotions and feelings; I’m allowed to feel however I naturally feel about a situation. And one of the things that the Housewives of Beverly Hills do well – whether if it’s scripted or otherwise induced – is bringing up their issues to the person who caused it. Whether it’s Joyce telling racist Brandi to stop calling her Jacqueline, or Queen Eileen telling LVP she didn’t appreciate her ‘affair’ being brought up at the dinner table, they’ve taught us that the most foolish words are the ones that are unsaid.

4. You can never spend too much on a bag
Designer fashion isn’t for everyone. However, designer fashion is definitely for me. And whether you’re a Kyle who would spend thousands on a bag just to flaunt it at brunch, or you’re an Eileen who has a more conservatively priced bag that would potentially draw the ire of Kathryn Edwards, it’s an unspoken rule among the ladies that there is no such thing as spending too much money on a bag.

5. There’s no such thing as ‘too dressed up’ for an occasion
Poor Denise was dragged way out of her comfort zone when she joined RHOBH, because you can only ever be underdressed when attending a function in Beverly Hills (even though she is Denise fucking Richards). Wearing designer fashion and heels to something as simple as a brunch or a protest march is a must, and let’s not forget it. And don’t let some hatin’ ass bitch judge you for wearing glam to a wellness retreat either.

6. Don’t accuse someone of having pretend amnesia
Yeah, Teddi.

7. Always bring a gift to someone’s house for any event
When a friend has invited you over to their home for an event, whether it’s a housewarming or a simple lunch, bring something as a gift. The ladies of RHOBH always take a gift to someone’s house, no matter how small the occasion may be. And for the extra lolz, if you don’t know what to take, take a box of Cadbury’s Favourites.

8. Avoid the ‘M’ word
An entire season was based around Lisa Rinna dropping the ‘M’ word. Do yourself a favour and don’t say it.

9. Don’t bring up dirty laundry at the dinner table
While it’s a recurring theme that all of the best arguments on RHOBH happen at the damn dinner table, one of the best lessons I’ve taken from the latest season was from sweet little Sutton, who kindly advised Teddi Mellentrampcamp to not bring up Denise’s business at the dinner table. And how right you are, Sutton Stracke.

10. Don’t invite a psychic to dinner
For the love of all that is holy, don’t do it. Don’t do it to yourself. The Dinner Party from Hell is called the Dinner Party from Hell for a reason.

Also, in relation to number 10… Allison Dubois, if you’re reading this – you’ve got mf issues hun.

– by The Black Widow

Seven Questions I Have for Love Island: The Game – Season Two

Posted in Entertainment, Video Games by

Be prepared for my favourite season ever!

After posing some questions about Love Island: The Game Season One, I’m very excited to put forward some questions about my personal favourite season.

While season one was my introduction to this amazing game, season two managed to double the fun, double the drama, and just top what I thought was an un-toppable season.

The characters were more relatable, the season was almost twice as long, there was even more drama than #Cherrygate could dare dream of, and the avatar artwork was a whole lot better, meaning Tygress could be even cuter than before!

The beautiful characters of Love Island Game: Season Two (my Gary’s the cute blond one on the left… isn’t he adorable?!)

I have already played through this season twice and am now on my third playthrough (ended up with Gary first, ended up with Jakub second), and this doesn’t even include playing through the season for my #NikkiPlaysLoveIsland live streaming series. That should give you an idea of how awesome this season is.

But if I had questions about season one, then you best bet I have questions for season two.

SPOILERS AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

1. Why are we still playing as a fit female?
Come on Fusebox. Come on.

2. Why is Gary so perfect?
I have never experienced a love like the one that me and Gary shared… oh sorry, I meant that Tygress and Gary shared. To me, he was the most human of the characters, and coupled with his cheeky sense of humour and his bulging biceps, I was just completely enamoured with him. If I needed any more reason to love him, the story he shared about growing up as an insecure boy who became unhealthily obsessed with working out and had to seek therapy and help for his problem just made me fall in love with him even more… oh sorry, I meant made Tygress fall in love with him. In short, Gary Rennell is perfection, and I will not hear otherwise.

3. Why is Hope such a snivelling little bitch and why are we expected to put up with her shit?
I’m an avid participant of the Fusebox Games Reddit so I can share my feelings towards Love Island: The Game with other fanatics. A popular opinion among the group is that everybody hates Hope. There is no redeeming quality about her; if you choose to pair up with Noah at the beginning, she just snakes him off you with no regard for your feelings even after claiming she’s ‘in it for the girls’; she rubs her fake relationship with Noah in your face for the rest of the season; and she tries way too hard to be the unofficial leader of the girls to the point that you want to throw her overboard. Who died and made you Captain Sparrow, bitch.

4. What was the actual point of Casa Amor?
Okay, I get the point of Casa Amor, but what was the actual point? As far as I’m concerned, during all three of my playthroughs, not once was my head ever turned by the fellas in Casa Amor, and the days spent in there were just a waste of time. The guy who had the best opportunity to turn my head (Felix) straight up admitted that he didn’t like me in that way, so again I ask… what was the actual point?

5. What is the obsession with feet and farts?
Come on Fusebox, maybe one or two responses with feet/farts would’ve been funny, but when nearly every decision you get to make has an option to do with feet/farts… come on guys. Come on.

6. Why can’t you let me be a bitch in peace?
In my first playthrough, I was sweet and agreeable to ensure the best possible endgame. In my second playthrough, I was more true to myself, which meant that if I didn’t like the character, then I let them know it. Every opportunity I got to drag Hope, Lottie, Hannah and Priya (only in the beginning when she snaked my Gary off me), I took it, and it gave me such great pleasure when the sad emojis popped out. But even after all of this dragging, they were still trying to be friends with me and going on about ‘girls forever’. Ughhhh. Just fuck off Lottie. You’re not unique and loveable; you are a stupid ass bitch. Hate me and leave me in peace!

7. Why was this season so iconic?
It takes some great storytelling to make the player feel a sense of community among a group of video game characters, but Love Island: The Game Season Two managed to pull that off. From the invention of a new word to fool hunky Jakub (I always went with ‘al dente’), to the hilarious malfunctioning baby cry (waaah… ahh… aaah), every ‘personal joke’ made by the characters on the game made you feel like you were in on the joke as well. Making a player feel that sense of family and community even though it’s a video game is a rare occurrence, and Fusebox have done a wonderful job of making season two this enjoyable.

Now that that’s done, I’m going to get back to my third playthrough where I’m going to fall in love with Gary again and not give anyone else a chance even though I’ve already been down this road before. Sorry Lucas. You’re cute, but not Gary cute.

– by The Black Widow