You Know What Sh!ts Me?: Facebook Laundromats

Posted in Opinion, What Sh!ts Me by

You know what really shits me?

Today’s topic: Facebook laundromats… in other words, people who constantly put their dirty laundry on Facebook.

When Facebook politely asks you in that little clever box at the top of your newsfeed “What’s on your mind?”, they don’t really want to know what’s on your mind. It is not an invitation to delve deep into your inner psyche and let it all out for the whole world and their pets to find out.

No one cares about your dirty laundry. Not this chick. She's reading a book. (SOURCE: Gideon's Flickr photostream)

No one cares about your dirty laundry. Not this chick. She’s reading a book. (SOURCE: Gideon’s Flickr photostream)

Some people have trouble differentiating between what is appropriate to post on Facebook and what isn’t appropriate… and uploading a status talking about how your boyfriend left you and you wish nothing but death upon him is actually very inappropriate. But who cares? Whatever works, right?

WRONG.

What you are doing is creating unnecessary drama by putting your personal problems out there for everyone to see. What you are doing is giving people more ammunition to use against you in case the opportunity ever arise. What you are doing is making a complete fool of yourself by turning to social media for sympathy when your best friend is just a simple phone call away.

My philosophy on this is simple: if you are my friend, I care about you. If you have a problem, I will do my best to help you with your problem. If you post this problem on Facebook and expect sympathy from me, stop wasting your time because zero fucks are given about your issue when you’re waving it around on social media.

You know the saying (however it goes)… “people don’t care about your problems, they just want to know what’s going on.” It applies to this very case. What you may think is a very cryptic status could very well paint a larger picture than you intended. “Feels alone :(” could easily translate into “My girlfriend won’t spend time with me because I’m an arsehole and now I regret it.” Your attempt at being incognito failed. Maybe you would have been better off not saying anything at all, huh?

What shits me even more is when these people who air their dirty laundry for the world to see are confused as to why people think it’s okay to involve themselves into their drama. I don’t know, whose fault is it – the idiot who made it publicly viewable for everyone to see and therefore have an opinion on, or Barney the dinosaurs? Definitely not Barney. If you don’t want people to involve themselves in your personal drama, DON’T INVOLVE THEM BY PUTTING IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA. It’s really quite simple, actually.

If you have problems like I’m sure everyone does, seek out help personally. Even if we live in the digital age, driving to your mate’s place or calling your mum late at night to help you has not gone out of fashion. In fact, I’m sue you could resolve a problem easier that way than asking however many Facebook friends you have for advice because they won’t care… they’ll just want to know what’s going on.

So, everyone on Facebook, I have five words for you that should have a long-lasting effect on you: think about what you post.

– by The Black Widow

Satisfashion: Coloured suits for men

Posted in Lifestyle, Satisfashion by

Hey guys, are you looking to stand out in a spectacular way?

Gents, if you have a formal event coming up and you want to make a statement, maybe a coloured suit is the way to go.

Men’s formal fashion is very basic: you chuck on some slacks, a button up shirt, some nice pleather shoes, and Bobsuruncle. Ties, blazers and sleek aviators optional. It is because of this that men don’t usually put much thought into what they’re going to wear at formal occasions, and to me, that is quite sad. It is possible for a man to outshine his beautiful female partner if he does it well.

Plus, to a woman, a man in a nice suit is the equivalent to a woman in skimpy lingerie to a man.

My best mate Rachel and I. This was four years ago and I look the same.

My best mate Rachel and I. This was four years ago and I look the same.

If you want to take formal dress just that extra bit further, however, coloured suits are becoming more frequent nowadays. They come in very obvious colours like lime green, royal blue and SolSat magenta – the latter of which being owned by yours truly.

Wearing a coloured suit is just like wearing a coloured dress for a lady; the suit is the statement so the extra additionals should compliment that statement and present it accordingly. If you plan on wearing a royal blue coloured suit, please for the love of Grace Kelly, do not try to compliment it with a red shirt and a yellow tie. You will look like a children’s finger painting gone wrong.

For a coloured suit, use basic shades to compliment your suit so that the suit is the most outstanding part of your outfit. Wear whites, greys, and blacks in your outfit; a blue suit would look smashing with a black button-up shirt and a white bow tie. If you’re daring enough, compliment the suit with a different shade of the same colour. A hot pink suit matched with a white button-up and a baby pink neck tie would look deadset phenom.

I wore a hot pink coloured suit to my year 12 graduation formal and was nominated for best dressed for my outfits. The light accents of a black shirt with a light silver neck tie complimented the outfit and made the pink suit the ultimate highlight of the outfit.

Guys, if you have a wedding coming up or something else of formal importance, don’t hesitate to try a coloured suit out. When done correctly, they can look just out of this world.

Just don’t try cross-colour. It is truthfully heinous.

– by The Black Widow

Review: The Other Woman

Posted in Entertainment, Movies by

With all this free time on my hands on the long Easter weekend, I was glad to see that the movies were still open. Even better? The Other Woman was showing; a movie that I had actually wanted to see, which is saying a lot considering I’m not a big movie person. I’d rather just wait til it’s on Foxtel or DVD or something.

Headed by a star cast including Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann, I was expecting big things from this movie. And I wasn’t disappointed.

These three bombshells (and Nicki Minaj) made quite the trio (and Nicki Minaj). (CREDIT: Team Minaj Twitter page)

These three bombshells (and Nicki Minaj) made quite the trio (and Nicki Minaj). (CREDIT: Team Minaj Twitter page)

The Other Woman details the unfaithful life of Mark King, who is stringing along a number of women, including wife Kate, lawyer Carly, and young busty bombshell Amber. The unusual circumstances brings the three women together and, instead of getting mad, they decide to get even. Claws are out, Mark. Oh and somewhere along the way, Kate’s hot brother played by Taylor Kinney is thrown in.

I thought this movie did what it set out to – make people hysterically laugh. Not only was I in fits of laughter but the entire movie theatre (which was pretty packed, IMSAHO) were in fits of laughter. To borrow a wrestling term, the comedy “spots” in the movie were fantastic and on point. The film had that edgy sense of humour to it, where it was almost borderline too far but it never went that step further that it became inappropriate. While the main catty parts of the film came at the second half of the movie, the film’s humour was placed squarely on the shoulders of one character – Kate, played by Leslie Mann.

Leslie Mann played her character to perfection. The chatty, too-comfortable wife whose beauty is barely highlighted was made very evident in the first couple of minutes Mann’s face was on screen. Mann’s acting was on par, and I would go as far to say that if she wasn’t in this movie, it wouldn’t have been good. The character of Kate was practically made for Mann and she owned it. Cameron Diaz’s performance in the movie was acceptable; it was good but not crash hot that I have any particular comment on it. Kate Upton, God bless her little soul, wasn’t too good in the movie. She’s got a great rack and a pretty face but, like, I felt nothing from her. The star of the trio was, without a doubt, Leslie Mann. I didn’t get the point of having Nicki Minaj in the movie besides “OMG it’s Nicki Minaj”, and she wasn’t too believable as an actress either.

The storyline was very chick flick-esque with a somewhat predictable ending. Without giving too much away, I knew where Kate, Carly and Amber were all going to end up by halfway through the movie. The methods of revenge the ladies used, however, kept me laughing, and the acting on behalf of Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (who played the cheating, rotten bastard) made it all the more glorious to watch. As an audience member, I felt satisfied every time he… well, I won’t spoil too much. One thing I was quite skeptical on was the fact that all three women just became friends without even having a single catfight. In reality, women in this situation would have been very bitter towards each other and it would’ve taken a lot more than one D&M to get in the same book, let alone same page.

Oh, and did I mention Taylor Kinney was in this movie?

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 7/10
Casting and acting: 8/10
Experience: 8.5/10
Overall: 7.5/10

I would definitely recommend this one to both ladies and gentlemen. It’s a light-hearted, fun movie that all will enjoy. The ladies have Taylor Kinney and the guys have Kate Upton. It’s pretty much a win-win. You will be rolling around laughing when this one is done.

– by The Black Widow

Tipping for Dummies: Round 7

Posted in Sports by

I’m just going to put it out there: what is going on with the NRL? This round so far has been so inconsistent, it makes Kim Kardashian look… I’m not even going to go there.

Everybody's favourite Tipping for Dummies!

Everybody’s favourite Tipping for Dummies!

SolSat’s predictions from round six: 4 of 8 (50%) That damn perfect score is avoiding me.

Friday April 18, 2014
South Sydney Rabbitohs vs. Canterbury Bulldogs @ ANZ Stadium
The annual Easter Friday bash kicks off the round as the Bunnies and the Doggies collide at ANZ Stadium in what is sure to be a whopper of a game. On the green side, Luke Burgess comes on for his suspended brother George and McQueen replaces the suspended Te’o. On the blue side, Pat O’Hanlon replaces injured co-captain Frank Pritchard on the bench.
SolSat’s prediction: Canterbury Bulldogs
I adore the Rabbitohs, I really do, but their inconsistency has ultimately made me go with the Doggies on this one. Canterbury have finally reached their peak after a lengthy stalemate and I see them defeating the Bunnies in a terrific game of footy.

Newcastle Knights vs. Brisbane Broncos @ Hunter Stadium
Friday’s second game will see the Knights take on the Broncos with their much needed home field advantage. Mullen made a surprise return last week and he just might be the catalyst the Knights need to conquer the baby Broncos. Josh Mantellato comes onto the wing for the Knights while the Broncos remain unchanged.
SolSat’s prediction: Brisbane Broncos
This tip is as tentative as firetruck. I believe in my boys, I really do, but sometimes they just let me down, especially during the last minutes. Mullen’s return ignited a fire in the Knights and they played formidably last week. I’m going with a close win for the Bronx on this one.

Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles vs. North Queensland Cowboys @ Central Coast Stadium
The most consistent team in NRL will take on the most disappointing at a stadium I don’t think I’ve ever heard of before. The Sea Eagles made good work of the Sharks last week and look to continue their impressive form against the Cowboys who came up short against the Tigers. Jason King makes his return for the Eagles the Cowboys see a rookie debut and an extended bench.
SolSat’s prediction: Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles
This is like choosing to say goodbye to your child forever. I’m sorry Cowboys, but I just don’t see that North Queensland drive in you yet. I predict a decent win from the Eagles over the Cowboys to close Easter Friday footy.

Saturday April 19, 2014
St. George Illawarra Dragons vs. New Zealand Warriors @ WIN Jubilee Stadium
The controversy-ridden Dragons will look to get their heads back in the game after a terrible call cost them the game last week. The Warriors travel to foreign territory after just losing to the Doggies last week. The Dragons have been named unchanged while the Warriors side sees three new faces due to suspension, injury and “droppage”.
SolSat’s prediction: St. George Illawarra Dragons
Controversy aside, statistically speaking, the Dragons are the better side. Controversy not aside, the Dragons will be breathing fire and will run a riot against the Warriors. I see a comfortable win for the Saints.

Cronulla Sharks vs. Sydney Roosters @ Remondis Stadium
The last-placed Sharks look to use the home field advantage as they have the challenge of facing the Chookies who, despite being the premiers, have not yet impressed so far in the season. Jonathan Wright comes onto the wing for the Sharkies and the Chookies remain unchanged, although they are blessed with an extended bench.
SolSat’s prediction: Sydney Roosters
This one is, dare I say, a breeze to tip. The Roosters are playing decent footy while the Sharks haven’t found their finals-footy niche. The Roosters will have a comfortable win here, methinks.

Sunday April 20, 2014
Canberra Raiders vs. Melbourne Storm @ GIO Stadium
The Raiders have been early predicted as the wooden spooners of the year. They intend to prove those doubters wrong but have to face the Storm to do so. Joel Edwards returns to the starting Raiders side while the Storm’s Dayne Weston returns to an added extended bench and an otherwise unchanged side after the incident we’ll call the “Dragons Stormy night”.
SolSat’s prediction: Melbourne Storm
The Storm aren’t “the Storm” for no reason; they know how to play some good footy. The Raiders are, well, not up there in the stormy side of things. However, Josh Papali’i must be commended for his outstanding form. He is definitely becoming one of my faves. Heartsz.

Monday April 21, 2014
Parramatta Eels vs. Wests Tigers @ ANZ Stadium
Two of the bottom teams from last year’s ladder that are now the names to beat clash as the Eels take on the Tigers to close the Easter weekend round. Darcy Lussick returns from suspension for the Eels while Joel Luani replaces injured captain Robbie Farah for the Tigers. Coincidentally enough, Eels hooker Nathan Peats will be looking to take Farah’s NSW hooker position if he doesn’t come back in time.
SolSat’s prediction: Parramatta Eels
From last year, I’m just not used to writing “Parramatta Eels” next to “SolSat’s prediction” but this year, it’s the truth. The Eels are just playing really, really well. The Tigers have lost their key player and skipper so I see that as the main reason for their downfall. Also, Peatsy… Matthew McConnaugheeeeyyyyyy.

To all our loyal and lovely readers out there, have a lovely Easter, whether you believe in it or not. And have a few beers over some good footy!

– by The Black Widow