You Know What Sh!ts Me?: Public transport and its morons

Posted in What Sh!ts Me by

Introducing a new segment to Solstice Satisfaction that I’m sure a lot of you out there can relate to – You Know What Sh!ts Me? Basically, an opinion on what really grinds my gears… what really irritates me… what really gets my blood pumping, and not in the good way either. These opinions may be contentious and/or very strongly expressed and I encourage the disclaimer that this is my opinion and you are free to oppose it in the comments or an angry e-mail.

Today’s topic: the morons who use public transport.

Think twice before you hop on one of these.

Think twice before you hop on one of these. (SOURCE: Mark Hillary’s Flickr photostream)

There are several types of morons who catch public transport, and I’m going to identify every single one of them. Please, if you are one of these morons, sort yourself out for the rest of us. Please.

Moron #1: Hot Seat Moron
These are the ones who change seats on the bus or train like it’s going out of fashion. I was sitting at the back one day and I watched this woman walk onto the bus and sit down. She didn’t seem satisfied, however, as she got up and moved to another seat two back. Nope. Still not satisfied. She got up again and moved to the other side of the bus. Umm… what? I literally didn’t see the point in that. Unless there was some invisible man threatening her that I didn’t see, I honestly don’t understand the logic behind that. This moron is also the moron that reluctantly takes a seat next to someone on the bus/train and then gets up and moves as soon as a seat is free. Like, what is the point? You’re not going to catch anything by sitting next to a stranger. I find this as rude as it is unnecessary. I see this happen way more than it should.

Moron #2: Bags-don’t-have-arses Moron
Yeah. These ones are the ones who put their bags onto the seat next to them and don’t even think to move them when people are filing onto the mode of transport. They will only VERY RELUCTANTLY move their belongings when someone politely asks if they may sit there. I’d hate to break it to you, but your bag or laptop case or cake tin actually doesn’t have an arse and therefore doesn’t really need to have a seat. That struggling woman with four bags slung over her shoulder probably does. Common sense people. We were all born with it, so use it.

Moron #3: Complaining Moron
How often do we see on social media people complaining about the public transport system? “Bus was two minutes late… FML”. “Bus driver charged me 10cents more than what he should have. #gokillyourself”. Like seriously, go plant a tree or something. There are bigger problems than public transport not going out of its way to accommodate one person. Your train is delayed? Big whoop. Would you rather walk the 20+km to work? I didn’t think so. The bus driver charged you adult fare even though you have a concession card that you left at home? Not his bloody fault you’re forgetful. The main point I’m trying to get across is this: these people are getting paid to do the public a great deal of service, and they have to put up with ignorant morons like this all day every day. They are getting you from A to B for a very cheap rate. I don’t know about you but I personally would rather deal with minor unpleasantries than walk to and back from Surry Hills twice a day, three days a week.

Moron #4: Un-chivalrous Moron
I have this unspoken rule I keep to myself when it comes to public transport. If a woman comes onto the bus/train and there are free seats, I will keep my seat. Even if she chooses to stand up for some odd reason because she doesn’t want to take that free seat, I will remain seated. It’s not my fault she doesn’t want to sit there. However, if a woman comes onto the bus/train and there are no free seats, I will offer her said seat and make her take it. The same can be said for the elderly. From my recent observations, I have noticed that I am the only one who will get up and do this or, if you’re lucky, another man will do the same. Most men just sit there, playing ignorance, while struggling women are standing up. This is a deadset joke. I honestly do not care if you had a slack day at work or your tutor yelled at you, if a woman is standing up on a full bus, you offer her your damn seat. One time on a train, a pregnant woman holding her baby was standing up while a bunch of suited blokes sat down on their smartphones, and it took a brave man yelling “Is somebody going to get up for her?!” to cause some action.

Moron #5: There-is-no-room-for-you-in-the-inn Moron
Exclusive to most buses, this moron is the one who just doesn’t get the fact that the seat was made for one person. Or two really, really skinny people. The front two seats at the bus (at least the ones I catch) are narrower than the normal two seater, therefore they are really only made for one person. Sometimes I take this seat so I can have a nap on the bus and know I won’t awkwardly elbow someone next to me. Sometimes when I wake up from this nap, however, there is someone trying to sit on the half-a-centimetre space left of the seat, and they are awkwardly shuffling on one foot, trying to balance their arse on the non-existent space. This may be me coming off as selfish… BUT YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US.

There. End rant. That felt good.

Please… if you are any one of these people.

Sort. Your. F#$%ing. Life. Out.

– by The Black Widow

AJ Lee vs. the World

Posted in Sports by

Inspired by a recent comment made by the longest reigning Divas Champion AJ Lee, I decided to take a look at the potential rivalries that AJ could be a part of that could be huge. Like, Trish vs. Lita huge. Hopefully.

Whether you like her or not, AJ Lee’s presence in the WWE Divas division today has been a breath of fresh air (click here for extra reference). It’s been a while since a character like hers has been seen in WWE’s women’s division, and her success has been shown in her lengthy tenure as Divas Champion. So far, no one has been able to dethrone the Divas Champ, but here’s me thinking that she hasn’t quite gone through all the Divas yet…

She knows they're after her... look at that fear in her eyes. (SOURCE: Sean Kimmel's Flickr photostream)

She knows they’re after her… look at that fear in her eyes. (SOURCE: Sean Kimmel’s Flickr photostream)

Idea #1: vs. Paige
Also known as the IWC’s women’s wrestling wet dream, every wrestling fan is waiting for NXT Women’s Champion Paige to be called up to put CrayJ in her place. Besides Natalya who’s already had several shots for AJ’s title, the only other woman signed by WWE currently who could put on a wrestling clinic as well as AJ is Paige (as well as Emma, but more about that later). Paige was born and raised in the wrestling business and, if not made apparent by her flawless Scorpion Cross Lock, is a wrestling sensation. Her intensity is shown both in the ring and on the mic and while some claim her to be “stale” as a person, I disagree; she’s one of my favourite talents in WWE and I’m usually the type to like the Summer Rae’s in wrestling. Paige could make her main roster debut as the Anti-Diva who will finally put AJ in her place by capturing the Divas title.

Idea #2: vs. Summer Rae
Yes, AJ Lee has run through every Total Diva… except Summer Rae. Okay, so technically she hasn’t beaten Eva Marie or Jojo in a one-on-one environment, but I don’t think the E are too confident in putting either one in a singles match. Regardless, Summer Rae’s recent inclusion to the hit reality series has no doubt put her on AJ’s radar. Even if both of them are heel at the moment, a smart baby face turn for AJ (since she’s cheered out of the building all the time anyway) could work well against super heel Summer, who plays her bitchy role on NXT to perfection. Face AJ vs. Heel Summer could be taken in a Kelly vs. Beth kind of way, except the serious wrestler would be face and the model would be heel. If any of the “newbie” Divas have shown that they can work in the ring, it’s Summer bloody Rae. The thought of this rivalry is just… fantastic.

Idea #3: vs. Emma
Now, if AJ were to stay heel, then why not go against the new main roster babyface in Emma? AJ has steamrolled through most if not all of the face Divas on the main roster except for Emma. Emma’s infectious personality and character could definitely get the fans behind her, and AJ’s crazy prima donna personality would clash against Emma’s bubbly Strayan character. Like I said before with Paige, Emma is one of the Divas who could put on a clinic with the likes of Resthold Lee. Her wrestling move set is phenomenal and clearly inspired by the handsome Lance Storm. If you ignore all her Emma dance gestures in between her moves, she’s a solid wrestler. Put her and AJ Lee in a singles match together, and the greatness that was Paige vs. Emma at NXT aRrival or however you spell it could be re-created on the main stage.

Idea #4: vs. Tamina
The storyline that they’ve been teasing for the past few weeks and keep dropping because all of a sudden they’re friends again, Tamina turning on AJ Lee is inevitable; the deciding factor on how well it’s received, however, depends on how the ‘E make it. As much as I love Tamina as a person, character and wrestler, I don’t see wrestling fans getting behind her if she was to become the babyface of the tandem, so like #2, AJ Lee would have to turn babyface for this idea to work well. Tamina could get sick of all the crap she’s had to deal with regarding AJ and could brutally attack her, thus creating sympathy for AJ and effectively making her the face. Tamina has shown that she can put on a good match and with AJ Lee guiding her, the storyline and result of this could be fantastic.

Well, there are my predictions for your crazy-ass Divas Champion. If someone could do me a solid and message WWE Creative and be like “You should check out SolSat’s latest post. LOL.”, that would be great.

– by The Black Widow

How to Catch a Catfish

Posted in Lifestyle by

You just found the cutest guy/babenest girl on Tinder and you’re chatting up a storm with them. They seem so perfect for you… almost too perfect.

With the internet nowadays, especially online dating apps like Tinder and Blendr, one has to be very careful when getting close with someone you only know through an app or website. It could turn out that your guy that resembles Ryan Gosling turns out to be a whale named Brutus. Literally. A whale.

You could be talking to this if you're not careful... (SOURCE: Brian Henderson's Flickr.)

You could be talking to this if you’re not careful… (SOURCE: Brian Henderson’s Flickr.)

The term catfish was born from the film with the same name that played on the aspect of someone being fooled online… and thus, the term was born. The concept of catfishing is so popular that it has warranted its own TV show that reunites online lovers and figures out whether they’re real or not.

As a true investigative journalist, I went seeking a catfish on a dating app. I found one. It took me all of five minutes to figure out that I was being catfished and after I caught them out, I asked them questions as a journalist as to why they did what they did. I use the word “they” because I don’t know if it was a female or male that I was talking to.

“Knowing what people are like, they would never go for me,” he/she said.

I asked them if they would ever go that far that they make someone fall for them, and they replied emphatically: “Trust me, it has and I would never let it get that far.”

If you’re having worries that your seemingly special someone is actually fake, there a few handy tips to get around the situation without alerting the other person that you’re onto them:

Tip #1: Request a very specific picture of them
Assuming that you are quite close with this person, sneak in a very specific picture request from them. For example, if the person has a tattoo, ask them for a close-up picture of said tattoo. If they send you one, don’t be sold yet that they’re real – they might just had luck with stealing someone else’s pictures. If that person has shown you his/her cute nephew, ask for a cute picture of them two together. If they turn down either one of these seemingly simple requests, chances are that your lover is a fake.

Tip #2: Ask them details about their life, and then repeat
So your lover has a picture of them and their sister together, ask what the sister’s name is. Sandra? Oh that’s a nice name. Write that down. A week later, and you’ve happened to forget their sister’s name. “Oh what was it again?” Jenny. “Oh that’s interesting, because I thought her name was Sandra.” Caught out. Most catfishes don’t keep track of the lies they spit out so chances are you’ll catch them out with a well thought-out plan like that. And don’t fall for the “Oh Jenny is her real name, Sandra is her middle name” bullcrap. It doesn’t work.

Tip #3: Request meet-ups with no real intention of meeting up
You have doubts that your person is real, so do the simple thing and “go that step further in your relationship” – request a face-to-face meeting. If your catfish has a soul, they’ll politely turn down the meeting with an ignorant excuse of some sort. Go along with it, and then request another meeting. The same thing’ll happen, and you’ll know the answer. You’re being catfished. Sorry.

As always, be wary of who you talk to online. You can’t trust a pretty face on an app just because it’s, well, pretty.

– by The Black Widow

Tipping for Dummies: Round 4

Posted in Sports by

I missed most of round three (live) due to my other engagements. Errgh. I just want to sit home, watch footy and watch Doctor Who and get paid for it.

Everybody's favourite Tipping for Dummies!

Everybody’s favourite Tipping for Dummies!

SolSat’s predictions from round three: 5 of 8 (62.5%) Same score as last round. Dammit.

Friday March 28, 2014
Sydney Roosters vs. Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles
The eagerly awaited 2013 grand final rematch kicks off this round of NRL action as the premiers face the runners-up. Both teams have had an equally impressive start to the season, however Manly will be looking to right the “wrongs” from last year and beat the Roosters.
SolSat’s prediction: Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles
I am basing this purely on “we didn’t win last year so we’re going to get revenge and win this time.” Both teams are pretty on par with each other when it comes to skill and talent (the Pearce and Maloney duo is as effective as the Foran and DCE tandem) so I’m going to go with Manly on this one.

St. George Illawarra Dragons vs. Brisbane Broncos
The still undefeated Dragons who came very close to becoming wooden spooners last week clash against the Broncos who suffered their first loss of the season last week against the Chookies. The Dragons get a two-man bench extension to an otherwise unchanged side while Josh McGuire returns for the Broncos after suspension.
SolSat’s prediction: Brisbane Broncos
Okay so now I guess it seems I’m being biased but I’m really not. I think the Dragons are talented, no question about it, but I think their “luck” is going to run out tonight. The Broncos have stellar defense and a rough forward pack, they just choked in the last minutes last week. They’ll get back into form tonight with a game which will be contender for game of the round.

Saturday March 29, 2014
Canterbury Bulldogs vs. Melbourne Storm
In a game that sees no team with a real home advantage in Perth, the honestly disappointing Bulldogs will go up against the also-undefeated Melbourne Storm. The Doggies will have to pull out the big guns to get the win here but they are capable of doing so in high pressure situations.
SolSat’s prediction: Melbourne Storm
High pressure situation or not, the Storm are on fire. Ignoring the terrible accident with Alex McKinnon last round, the Storm had a phenomenal game and it truly shows you how dominant the Victorian team are. I expect a pretty solid win for the Storm.

New Zealand Warriors vs. Wests Tigers
The Warriors go up against the Tigers on Saturday in what would’ve been viewed as a “passable” game by the end of last year. Both teams (especially the Tigers), however, have made an emphatic point that they should not be written off so quickly, highlighted by their impressive wins last week.
SolSat’s prediction: Wests Tigers
I don’t know what’s happened to Farah’s team of Tigers… whether they’re drinking some of the magic water on Space Jam or what, but they are a totally different team. They are actually quite amazing to watch. I expect a pretty decent win over the Warriors here.

Parramatta Eels vs. Penrith Panthers
The western Sydney rivals collide in the last game of Saturday at Pirtek Stadium. Captain America starts in place of the injured Ben Smith while the previously injured Peter Wallace returns for the Panthers. Josh Mansour is still out with injury. Sadface.
SolSat’s prediction: Penrith Panthers
The same about the Tigers mentioned above could be said about the Panthers, except we know why they’re changed team – their off season. The Eels have it in them to win, no doubt about it, but I just expect a Penrith win here.

Sunday March 30, 2014
South Sydney Rabbitohs vs. Canberra Raiders
The Bunnies will once again play at ANZ Stadium as they take on the Raiders in Sunday’s opener. Both teams are coming off a loss last week and both teams have one win to their name so far. Greg Inglis has been named despite being taken out of the game in the early minutes last week, and Dylan Walker and Chris McQueen also return for the Bunnies. Shaun Fensom returns from suspension for the Raiders.
SolSat’s prediction: South Sydney Rabbitohs
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m tentative about this tip. If last week’s game for the Bunnies demonstrated anything, it was that they rely heavily on Greg Inglis. While their big man is back, the Raiders Edrick Lee is out, and that will play against them.

Newcastle Knights vs. Cronulla Sharks
The two teams on the bottom of the ladder with no wins to their name whatsoever play against each other at Hunter Stadium where one team is guaranteed a win. Both teams have been very disappointing in the early goings of the season and hopefully this win will bounce them both back up the ladder.
SolSat’s prediction: Cronulla Sharks
Even with Korbin Sims coming on for McKinnon (I love the Sims brothers), I don’t see the Knights taking the win here, however I do expect them to put up a good fight especially because they’re dedicating the rest of the season to McKinnon. God bless.

Monday March 31, 2014
Gold Coast Titans vs. North Queensland Cowboys
In the closing round game that is unfortunately not being played at 1300 SMILES, two of Queensland’s teams collide as the Titans host the Cowboys at CBUS Super Stadium. Zillman is out for the Titans while Aidan Sezer is in doubt. The Cowboys remain an unchanged side.
SolSat’s prediction: North Queensland Cowboys
In terms of overall form, the Cowboys have got it better, which is why I’m tipping them to win this one. Both of these teams are heavy final contenders so this could very well be a classic game.

My WordPress was playing up before so thankfully it’s working now; otherwise, no Tipping for Dummies would have been up for this round. And that would’ve been darn terrible.

– by Noah La’ulu