Tag Archives: reality

The Housewives of Salt Lake City: Ranked

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May the Housewives gods be with me while I rank these unhinged women.

I only just realised that I haven’t ranked the Salt Lake City wives because I’ve been watching live since the beginning and didn’t do a full binge of the franchise like I have the other cities. While we are currently in the middle of a raging season four, I thought ‘why not rank them now?’

As it is, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is the tenth installation of Bravo’s ever popular Real Housewives franchise, and is widely considered to be the most chaotic. Sometimes it looks like these women get along and have great friendships, and the next thing you know, they’re attacking each other like savages.

As of writing, there have only been nine full-time housewives featured on RHOSLC. It is still in its early years, of course, so it’s to be expected.

Strap in for a short but wild ride as I rank these unhinged Utah wives!

9. Jennie Nguyen
This should come as no shocker to any fans of the franchise, but what disappoints me the most is I had such high hopes for Jennie at the beginning of the season. I always love seeing diversity, and seeing the franchise’s first Asian housewife in season 2 was very refreshing, but then her disgusting views were outed, and she plummeted to the very bottom of this list.

8. Heather Gay
Bravo seemed to have pegged Heather as the poster girl for RHOSLC at the very beginning, and I cannot understand why. She’s phony as all hell, two-faced to the people she claims to be her friend, allows herself to be a doormat for bully Jen, and is stuck in the high school days of yearning to be accepted by the popular girls. Plus, her self-deprecating humour is just overcompensating for the fact that she is extremely unlikeable. I really don’t have anything nice to say about her tbh.

7. Jen Shah
Jen is the first Pacific Islander representation in all of the Housewives franchises which was really nice for me to see. And that’s where my compliments for this woman end. She is a literal convicted criminal, and during her time on the show, was nothing more than a malicious, jealous and manipulative shell of a woman who used erratic outbursts for attention. I never want to see this woman on a Bravo show ever again.

6. Meredith Marks
Meredith started out somewhat likeable, and her penchant for disengaging quickly became iconic. But this woman is out of her mind and deluded, and I can’t stand the way that she looks down at the floor when she’s trying to read someone or stir shit. At least look them in the eye if you’re going to drag them, hun.

5. Mary Cosby
Double standards in a housewife have never existed as hard as they do for Mary Cosby. Mary is eccentric, comes with a wild backstory, and has very funny one-liners, but because the other wives (excluding Whitney) are scared of how unpredictable she can be, she gets away with being rude, insufferable, and refusing to participate in activities with the other wives.

4. Monica Garcia
Monica serves as a breath of fresh air for the currently airing season 4 of RHOSLC. Beautiful, sassy, unashamed of her past, and not scared to fight against her richer counterparts, Monica has already proven to be a great addition to the show. I wish she’d just ease up on the fighting with Lisa though.

3. Angie Katsanevas
After a very successful debut as a FOH in season three, this Greek beauty snatched her snowflake for season four and has already shown to be a great housewife. Messy, shady, serving personal drama, and appearing to be ready to read a bitch at any given time, Angie quickly shoots to (almost) the top of my list.

2. Whitney Rose
Whitney is easily one of the most stunning housewives across all the franchises, but what I love about her most is that she is as beautiful as she is messy. Never scared to stir the pot, or carry some bones, Whitney has proven to be a necessary cog in the wheel that is RHOSLC. We stan a sex positive queer ally Queen!

1. Lisa Barlow
I had picked Lisa to be my favourite during the first season of the show because she reminded me of my friend Charmaine, but then Lisa began showing more of her personality, and she’s basically the perfect housewife. She’s rich, not scared of getting into it, a bit of a pot stirrer, slightly deluded and unaware, and full of hilarious one liners and quips that are immediately iconic, Lisa Barlow takes the top spot for the Utah housewives.

Season four is already receiving rave reviews, and may be the Salt Lake wives’ best season since its inception. If you aren’t already watching this franchise, dare I suggest that you start watching it now. If only for Team Litney.

Happy watching, baby gorgeouses!

– by The Black Widow

Five Questions I Have for Love Island: The Game – Season One

Posted in Entertainment, Video Games by

Couple up or check out.

This is the motto for the iconic reality dating series Love Island, but if (like me) you don’t really care for shit trashy reality dating shows, but like to live vicariously through character avatars in romantic settings, then you might really like the mobile app game based on the series, Love Island: The Game.

And yes, I am going to shamelessly plug my live streaming series #NikkiPlaysLoveIsland which you can find at this link.

The extremely attractive cast of Love Island: The Game Season One. Tygress the bikini model not featured.

I just have to say that I am a huge mark for the Love Island game. Any mobile app that can make me spend actual money on it is a keeper, but this game has made spend well over $100 on it. (Before you judge me, just bear in mind that I could be spending my money on worse).

This game has everything that a dating simulation mobile app game needs: attractive characters to romance or woo, an isolated almost dreamlike setting of the villa that almost traps you and the other islanders together, and most importantly, an engaging storyline… because what’s romance without an entertaining story?

I’m currently going through my second playthrough of season one which you can watch live on my Twitch channel (did I already plug my #NikkiPlaysLoveIsland?) My first playthrough of season one was full of drama, romance, heartbreak, and plenty of doing bits, and I felt so attached to the characters by the end of the season.

After thinking about my first playthrough – and going through my second playthrough – I just have a few questions that need to be asked about my time as Tygress the bikini model on Love Island season one.

SPOILERS AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

1. Why do we have to play as a (fit) female?
First thing’s first: the most obvious question. Why am I forced to play as a female? As a male, I would like to experience this iconic game as a male character so I can realistically live vicariously through them. Unfortunately, this game only gives you the option to play as a female with a fit body/little to no curves. I’m not going to complain that much because I enjoyed playing as Tygress the bikini model, but it would’ve been that much better creating a male character that looked like me and would constantly graft on Levi and Jake like the devilish hoe he was meant to be.

2. Wtf was #Cherrygate
I know they explained themselves, but I still don’t quite get why Cherrygate had to happen. My partner at the time was Levi, so he was the one suckered in to Cherrygate. Cherry explained that she was feeling weak and vulnerable at the time and Levi happened to be there for a (broad) shoulder to lean on, but then they made out. Like, I don’t know about you, but when I find a friend to lean on during troubling times, I don’t end the venting session by making out with them. Also, Cherrygate dragged on for too long. I ended up not minding Cherry by the end of it, but it felt like the game was forcing me to hate her. Speaking of hating people…

3. Why are the rest of the female characters such vile humans?
If you’ve watched my live stream, you will note that there is a recurring theme: I hate literally every other female character in this season. Allegra tries too hard to be a bitch, and in turn makes her mere existence irritating; Erikah is a snake; Cherry is a man-stealing ho bag; Talia is a try hard; Jen is way in over her damn head; and Lucy is bland. There. I said it.

4. What’s the obsession with Levi and Mason?
It’s no secret that I was fond of Levi from the beginning seeing as statistically the character is very close to “my type”; however in saying that, the closest to my type of all the characters was Jake. Granted, Jake was a choice to couple up with in the very last recoupling, but I don’t understand why he wasn’t able to be selected for the majority of the game. It was clear the the game was trying to steer you specifically towards Levi or Mason, and eventually Talia should you want your character to end up in a same-sex relationship. It would’ve been nice if the game gave you more options for romance, because I’m sure Big T definitely tickled some peoples fancies by the end of it.

5. Why is this game so iconic?
I have played nearly every popular mobile dating simulation game there has ever been invented. This could be because I am super lonely, but more on my aversion to real-life dating later. But while other games just want to get you coupled up with these beautiful, flawless superhuman characters that are larger than life, this game went that step further and actually made their characters human. Jake was the most human character of them all, which is probably why Tygress ended up with him; he was flawed, and admitted to his own faults and insecurities, and nothing is more attractive than someone who is comfortable in their own skin and flaws. Kudos, Fusebox Games, you have done a stellar job.

Love Island: The Game is available on most if not all smart devices and is free to download (in-game transactions available if you have no self control like me and need to spend money to have cute bikinis and exclusive grafting opportunities). Don’t say I didn’t warn you when you prefer to spend time with your villa beau as opposed to your real one.

– by The Black Widow

The Cat and the Love Rat

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Here’s my take on the whole Cat-Lawson drama that has been clouding over Big Brother Australia for the past few weeks.

If you have been avoiding anything Big Brother related, I don’t blame you, but you must have your head in the sand if you haven’t heard of the Cat-Lawson saga, like that emu who has its head in the sand. But again, I don’t blame you.

Who are you to stop such a beautiful smile?!

Who are you to stop such a beautiful smile?!

If you’re reading this confused, let me catch you up to speed: Lawson is a mid-late 20 something year old magician who has a girlfriend named Candice. He went into the house still in a strings-attached relationship with the girl. Enter Cat, the stunning 30 something year old midwife who immediately has a liking for Lawson. One night spent in a secluded hut and lo and behold, Lawson and Cat are hooking up like a pair of pelicans. (Terrible, terrible simile, but bear with me) Naturally, some of the other housemates are appalled at their behaviour and many Australians around the world who view that reality program have also shared their disgust.

Since then, both Cat and Lawson have been eliminated from the house – no doubt because they’re both “cheaters” – and have both expressed their sorrow for what they’ve done. In saying that, however, they both went on the record to basically say that “Love is love and who are we to deny those feelings that we had.”

Ooooooohhhhh.

And as any top Aussie blogger would do, I’m here to give my two cents on the Cat and Lawson drama that has plagued Big Brother Australia for nearly its entire season.

My thoughts on this situation can be summed up in four simple words: it doesn’t affect me.

Think about it. How does someone I have never met before cheating on his girlfriend whom I have also never met with a sexy midwife whom I have also never met affect me? It doesn’t. At all. Sure, the act of infidelity is frowned upon, especially if it’s done on national television, but face it, you’re still going to wake up the next day and you’re still going to work or college or wherever it is that you go unaffected. Something that Cat and Lawson may have done does not affect the way I think about them and, if we’re going by the “judge not less ye be judged” path, it shouldn’t affect the way anyone else thinks about them.

Cat was my favourite housemate this year and even throughout this crap, she has still been my favourite. I’ve always thought Lawson was a charming character and I still think he is to this day.

Reading some of the comments on Big Brother Australia’s page has really disappointed me in mankind… so quick to throw judgements and nasty insults around as if they’re totally clean and pure. No one is like that. People are going to make mistakes; it’s just what you learn from them which makes you a bigger person.

Now as a personal disclaimer, I am in no way advocating what they’ve done. I don’t agree with infidelity and think that if you do decide to get your jollies off with someone else, you should have the decency to break it off with your partner before you do so. Or don’t engage in a relationship at all.

But think about it. Lawson didn’t have the opportunity to do the right thing and tell his beloved Candice “Hey, I may have feelings for another woman, can we like take a break so I can pursue these feelings and see what happens after?” No. He was stuck in a small, secluded house with like 12 or so other people for over a month. Surely that is going to play on someone’s psyche after such an extended period of time. Some people don’t take into account the mentality of being secluded in the house can have on these housemates. They don’t have the privilege of going out wherever and doing whatever because they are stuck in that house.

The main point I’m trying to make is this: unless it truly affects you, like, truly affects you, you should probably take a few steps back and think “Hey, I don’t know how these people are feeling, I can’t really comment on their personal lives.” At the end of the day, who are we to get in the way of someone’s love lives if it doesn’t involve us at all?

Yes, that also means if someone is in a relationship on Facebook, it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Js.

– by The Black Widow