Author Archives: Nikki

Dating Nikki: The “right time”

Posted in Dating Nikki, Lifestyle by

Dear Nikki,

I have been on a couple of dates with this guy that I really like. We’ve kissed and have had an enormous amount of chemistry. We’re going on our third date this weekend and I’m really nervous. I think he’s expecting us to have sex and I think it’d be best if I give it to him although I don’t think I’m ready. I’m worried he might leave me if I don’t give him what he wants. When do you think it is appropriate to have sex for a dating couple?  My friends have told me that having sex on the third date is “slutty” and that I should wait until I’m ready.

Please help!

Wishful Thinking Dater

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Dear Wishful Thinking Dater,

What is the “right time” to put out for a dating couple? To sum it up in five words: there is no right time.

Whenever you feel you’re ready to take that next step and give that part of you to him, go for it. Don’t feel pressured by him or your friends just because of what they will think of you regarding your decision. There is no set time limit for when you “have” to have sex. Don’t listen to all those sources that believe in the “second date rule” or even the “hold out until you’re married” rule. You do what is best for you. If you’re comfortable having sex on this third date, go for it. If you’d be more comfortable to have sex on the twentieth date, then do it on the twentieth date. Neither makes you slutty nor prudish; it just means you’re in charge of your body and you will do whatever the hell you want with it. Hell, people have sex on the first date, and that is perfectly okay. Everyone’s limits are different… no two human beings are the same!

If the bloke you’re seeing truly respects you and is ultimately the right man for you, he will respect your wishes and wait for whenever both of you are completely ready to take the plunge (sexual pun not intended at this time). If he tries to pressure you into doing things that you don’t want to, then dump his ass on the kerb because he ain’t the right man for you. Then again, he might not even be ready so you may be creating problems in your mind that aren’t even there.

Alternatively, if you are open-minded about doing some other raunchy things, set out some boundaries between you and your man if and when the time arises. By that, I don’t mean walk into your date and say “You can touch me down there with your fingers and that’s it… by the way, what’s for dinner?” When the situation gets hot and heavy, that’s when you bust out the limits. A true gentleman will respect that about you and will be more than happy to cater to your needs.

The moral of the story is this: you are in charge of your body and your womanly needs; not him, not your friends, not even good ol’ #DatingNoah here. Do it whenever you feel is right. When the right time comes along, I can assure you that your act of fornication will be that much more fantastic than if you did it when you weren’t too comfortable with your decision.

I hope this sets your mind at ease. Go out and have fun this weekend… and go the Broncos!

– by The Black Widow

If you have a question or need some good ol’ fashioned blunt advice from #DatingNikki, use the Contact page on our website and put in your comment “Subject: Dating Nikki” or alternatively send me an e-mail at widowslure@gmail.com and put “Dating Nikki” in the subject line. I will respond to your cries for help as soon as possible!

Review: Searching for Someday

Posted in Books, Entertainment by

I bought this book from my local Dymocks and then left it at work and assumed I had lost it and then began to throw a tantrum because I was looking forward to reading it that much. So did Searching for Someday worth the hype of throwing a tantrum over? Let’s find out!

The first of a new saucy series by Jennifer Probst. (SOURCE: Jennifer Probst's website)

The first of a new saucy series by Jennifer Probst. (SOURCE: Jennifer Probst’s website)

Searching for Someday by Jennifer Probst is the first of a series that follows the life of Kate, who may or may not be a witch. She has this “gift” from her ancestors that she can sense when two people are meant to be together just by touching them. Intense right? So she uses her powers for good and has started a matchmaking agency with her two friends. Kate is a beautiful virgin who keeps to herself and has no time for man, until Slade Montgomery walks in – the hot divorce lawyer who wants to take Kate’s matchmaking agency to the shedhouse for being a “scam”. A matchmaker and a divorce lawyer… sounds like a total mess, doesn’t it?

The storyline was okay. I wasn’t appalled by it but at the same time I wasn’t too enthralled by it (totes rhymed!) As most love and romance novels are easily predictable, I didn’t go into this book expecting much. But this story was so predictable that I pretty much didn’t have to finish it to figure out the ending, but at least the track towards the destination was great. The intense, erotic chemistry between Kate and Slade was interesting to read and their interactions were almost always entertaining. Their first kiss after that yoga session was… oh golly.

I am clearly an avid reader of adult romance novels and am very familiar with how a written sex scene goes. If a sex scene is done well, it comes off great and can even get the reader “in the mood”. If it isn’t written well, however, it comes off as dirty and trashy and it gives adult romance novels a bad name. One thing that I cannot stand in sex scenes is the use of the “p word” for vagina. Unfortunately for Probst, she used the “p word” freely during the intimate moments of the novel and it completely ruined the scene for me. I just think that there are so many words for vagina nowadays that you can use any one of them and still be better than the “p word”. If one word is going to be a let down in the novel – and warrant an entire paragraph in a book review – then that is saying something.

As a character, Kate was passable. She had her funny moments and she was easily relatable and likeable, especially with her ADORABLE dedication to her dog Robert, but other than that, she had the “typical romance book heroine” character to her – insecure, shy, unaware of how hot she is, etc. Slade’s character was also quite the romance book stereotype of being cocky, wealthy and arrogant but had the body of Adonis. I didn’t particularly love either one of them but they were both easily likeable so that’s definitely a plus.

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 6.5/10
Style of writing: 6.5/10
Overall: 6.5/10

Searching for Someday is a solid read if you’re looking for a hot, steamy love affair between two polar opposite characters. If this is any indication of how the rest of the series will go, we should be in for a ride.

– by The Black Widow

Doctor Who from an Emotionally-Charged Whovian’s Perspective

Posted in Entertainment, TV by

Because I may or may not have a love affair with the Doctor.

I am an emotional person. There is no way I can deny that. I often think with my heart instead of my head and those decisions often lead to extraordinary consequences, whether that be good or bad. When I watch a TV series, I don’t just “watch” it, I get emotionally invested into the show and its characters. Doctor Who is no different; in fact, I’d go as far to say that I’ve never been so emotionally invested in a TV series as much as I have with Doctor Who.

That crazy brilliant man his blue box. (SOURCE: Rooners Toy Photography Flickr photostream)

That crazy brilliant man his blue box. (SOURCE: Rooners Toy Photography Flickr photostream)

My background with Doctor Who is different to most: I didn’t become a fully fledged Whovian until recent. Previously, I watched the “New Who” sporadically with my father; if it was on, we’d watch it. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t go out of our way to get it. I knew that David Tennant was the Doctor and he had a beautiful companion named Martha Jones… who all of a sudden was replaced by Donna Noble. I knew Billie Piper was in the series but didn’t know her character’s name. After a little persuasion, I decided to re-watch “New Who” from season one episode one to get re-familiarised with the show that has captivated so many people. And now, I’m hooked for life.

I’ve always had difficulty verbally explaining to my friends just how strongly I feel for this TV series, so as a writer, I thought it’d be better to communicate through the written word. I laugh and I smile and I cry and I cower when I watch Doctor Who; the show is just capable of bringing so many emotions out of Whovians, and I think I’m the worst when it comes to it.

Take regenerations, for example: without fail, I have cried during every regeneration. Why? Because you put so much time and love into getting familiar with this incarnation of the Doctor but at the back of your mind you just know he will leave you when the going gets bad. You’ve become so attached to this incarnation of the Doctor that when he regenerates, it’s just like he’s leaving you and comes back with a new face and personality that you have to adapt to whether you like it or not. Quite literally, it’s a heartbreaking experience… and I’m aware that I may sound a bit insane right now but bear with me. I always feel rather indifferent and quite cold towards the newly regenerated Doctor, and it just takes time for me to warm up to him. Until the cycle starts again. Compare this to having a pet dog who all of a sudden is taken from you and is replaced by another breed of dog that you have to keep regardless. That’s how I feel when it comes to regeneration.

I laugh every time Amy Pond says something in her ridiculously adorable Scottish accent. I cried when Rose Tyler is revealed as the Bad Wolf and mutters “my Doctor”. I felt warm inside when the Doctor referred to Donna Noble as his “best friend”. I marked out when all of the Tenth Doctor’s companions reunited to save the world. Don’t even get me started on the Father’s Day episode.

Doctor Who is more than just a sci-fi show with an unnamed man of many faces who prefers the company of young, beautiful and otherwise “ordinary” women. It’s a show that explores every human feeling possible: it can make you laugh, it can make you cry, it can make you angry, it can even make you hide behind your chair. It’s a show that appeals to all, young and old, nerdy and non-nerdy, male and female. It tackles real life problems while having that special Doctor Who sass to it: unrequited love, heartbreak, loss of a loved one… all real issues that we as humans face every day.

Numbers are just numbers to most people, but the numbers 1-12 represent so much more to us. Five represents a kind and gentle soul with an unusual taste for jacket accessory. Nine represents a cool and collected sass. Eleven represents bow ties and fezzes.

If I’ve kept your attention for this long, I do suggest that you give the show a go if you haven’t already. But don’t say I didn’t warn you when your heart shatters in almost every episode of this worldwide phenomenon.

– by The Black Widow

Tipping for Dummies: Round 10

Posted in Sports by

Keen to get this weekend of footy started after Collingwood’s disappointing loss last night. Like really. Really.

Everybody's favourite Tipping for Dummies!

Everybody’s favourite Tipping for Dummies!

SolSat’s predictions from round nine: 5 out of 8 (62.5%)

Friday May 16, 2014
South Sydney Rabbitohs vs. Melbourne Storm @ ANZ Stadium
Kicking off this week’s footy is the Bunnies and the Storm at ANZ. Both teams are coming off wins last week; the Bunnies soundly defeated the Titans while the Storm won a nailbiter against Manly. The Bunnies side remains unchanged with an extended bench while Joel Romelo starts as five-eighth due to suspension.
SolSat’s prediction: Melbourne Storm
Both of these finals footy teams have been utterly disappointing this season so this prediction was based on the “lesser of two evils” really. The Bunnies have only started to come back into form while the Storm have been up-and-down. Either way, I’ll be in attendance tonight so I hope this one’s phenom.

Brisbane Broncos vs. Gold Coast Titans @ Suncorp Stadium
After the Broncos’ disappointing loss in the Queensland derby last week, they run into the local Queensland derby against the Titans at Suncorp. The Titans were the unfortunate victims of the Bunnies last week and look to regain the form that kept them on the top of the ladder. Ben Hannant returns to the bench for the Bronx while the Titans face several changes, notably Bird’s absence due to suspension.
SolSat’s prediction: Brisbane Broncos
I know the Broncos don’t lack the fire or passion to win so there’s got to be something else hindering them recently. The Titans have just been scraping past with their victories and I think that even though this one will be very close, the Broncos will come out on top.

Saturday May 17, 2014
Parramatta Eels vs. St. George Illawarra Dragons @ Pirtek Stadium
The Eels will look to use their second straight home field advantage against the Dragons on Saturday after a decisive home victory over the Sharkies last week. The Dragons were hammered by the Doggies last week and will hope to turn their luck around. Joe Paulo starts for the Eels while Nightingale starts on the wing for the Dragons. Code hopper Benji Marshall will make his Dragons debut.
SolSat’s prediction: Parramatta Eels
Coming from someone who thought the Eels were a massive joke last season, I have now been turned into a firm believer of the Eels and wouldn’t be surprised to see them in the final 8. I predict a solid win for the Eels over the Saints in this one.

Cronulla Sharks vs. West Tigers @ Remondis Stadium
The Sharks are in desperate need of a win if they even want a glimmer of a shot at the finals. The Tigers started off on fire but that fire has simmered after a flogging at the hands of the Chookies last week. Gibbs and Tagataese start in the front row for the Sharks while Anasta and Farah return for the Tigers.
SolSat’s prediction: West Tigers
Anasta and Farah’s returns for the Tigers will definitely be the boost that they need to defeat the Sharks on Saturday. The Sharks need to re-discover what made them special but it might be too little too late for the Shire team.

North Queensland Cowboys vs. Sydney Roosters @ 1300 SMILES Stadium
At my favouritest named stadium ever, the Cowboys host the premiers with both teams coming off wins over the Broncos and the Tigers respectively. Antonio Winterstein, Ray Thompson and Tariq Sims return from injury for the Cowboys while the Roosters face a dramatic change with Maloney shifting to halfback and SBW of all people playing five-eighth.
SolSat’s prediction: Sydney Roosters
Regardless of the interesting dynamic with Maloney and SBW (I’m sure Maloney would love being that close to him), I think the Roosters will have a clean, decisive win over the Cowboys who continue to be the most wroughted team of the league regarding the refs shit calls.

Sunday May 18, 2014
Canberra Raiders vs. Penrith Panthers @ GIO Stadium
The Raiders are having possibly the worst season the Raiders have ever had while the Panthers have proven the doubters wrong with solid victories. Ricky Stuart has made a number of changes to the Raiders side to ensure victory while McKendry starts for the concussed Plum on the Panthers.
SolSat’s prediction: Penrith Panthers
The Panthers are also another favourite to fit comfortably in finals footy this year after having a good headstart. The Raiders haven’t convinced me that they’re in it to win it so I’m going with a comfortable Panthers victory here.

Canterbury Bulldogs vs. New Zealand Warriors @ Waikato Stadium
The Bulldogs have been firing on all cylinders with their definitive winning streak for the past several weeks. The Warriors have had an up-and-down and look to upset the Bulldogs on home turf. Both teams remain unchanged after both were victorious last week.
SolSat’s prediction: Canterbury Bulldogs
I want what the Doggies are drinking. But in all seriousness, they are the team to beat this season. Not the Eagles, not the Storm. The Doggies are the ones to watch and are proving to be serious final contenders. Solid win for the Doggies here.

Monday May 19, 2014
Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles vs. Newcastle Knights
The Eagles are coming off a quite controversial loss to the Storm last week while the Knights were the recipients of a 22-point flogging from the Panthers. The Sea Eagles get an 18th man while Willie Mason and Korbin Sims return for the Knights, giving them a much needed boost in confidence.
SolSat’s prediction: Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles
I would heavily prefer the Knights to win because I genuinely like the side, however I think Eagles have got this one. After a rough week last week, they will be looking to regain their confidence and will do so at the expense of the Knights.

A couple of hours until the Bunnies-Storm game. Here’s to solid footy!

– by The Black Widow