Author Archives: Nikki

Dating Nikki: First date small talk

Posted in Dating Nikki by

Now introducing a new segment for Solstice Satisfaction… Dating Nikki! No, unfortunately you won’t be able to live your long dream of dating me, but you will be getting dating advice, tips and tricks from yours truly. Ta da!

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First date small talk…
Because you can’t exactly let the other person know just how unstable you are on the first date.

First impressions are the key on first dates and you want to be able to give off the vibe that you are one sick chick/cool dude. You should know enough about your date that it won’t be a complete mystery (unless it’s a blind date, in which case… stay tuned). Of course, this is the first time you have been intimate with this person in a dating sense, so there is bound to be some tension and/or awkwardness in the air. That is where your good friend “small talk” will come in.

You’re sitting down at the table at a nice restaurant: you have already broken the ice by telling her how beautiful she looks or telling him that he looks like Vin Diesel. You’ve exchanged weather pleasantries, talked about the safe drive to the destination and have been in awe of the font that the restaurant menu has used. Now where do you go?

DO

  • Ask how your date’s day and/or week has been.
  • Ask your date a little about their lifestyle – their employment, education, hobbies, etc. Try not to say “So what are your hobbies?” because I find that is a very difficult question to answer, and I have plenty of hobbies. If you find you have something in common, cling to that topic for a bit, but don’t let it dominate your conversation; you’ll sound forced if you do.
  • Play a little game of “Three Lies and a Truth” to break the ice and let your date know just how damn extreme you are. If you’re not extreme enough for Three Lies and a Truth, then go for 20 Questions (NOTE: change the number of questions at your desire)
  • Joke around with your date to take some of the awkward tension away. By joke, I don’t mean “So, a mate and I got drunk one night in a public bathroom…” kind of joke.
  • Share an interesting story about yourself that is relevant to your date or the conversation. If your date asks you how you are and you bring up a story about how your pet rabbit died ten years ago, then, well… just no.

DON’T

  • Bring up any past dates or romances. Ever. Ever. Ever.
  • (If at a dinner) Initiate conversation while your date is clearly trying to eat. They will feel pressured to keep up a conversation when all they want to do is eat.
  • Start a question with “So…” You’ll sound bored. And ignorant.
  • Make it so obvious that you’re keeping up small talk for the sake of making small talk. Unless you’re on something, which I strongly advise against on a first date, you will hate small talk. Don’t make it obvious that you hate it.
  • (If at a movie) Talk during the movie, unless it’s COMPLETELY necessary. Example: “Excuse me, I have to use the restroom” is accepted, “You should’ve seen what happened on the train today” is not.
  • Dominate the conversation. Each dater should have an equal amount of “air time”.

Small talk is uncomfortable for every party involved, so try and make it less painful for everyone by being confident and by being yourself. A forced small talker just seems fake, and, like, they have something shoved up their yoo-hoo. That’s bad, by the way.

Want a specific topic of the wide world of dating covered? E-mail me at widowslure@gmail.com and I will get to your dating plea as soon as possible.

Happy dating everyone!

– by The Black Widow

My Digital World

Posted in Lifestyle by

Journalists have been wondering whether digital publishing may take over print publishing completely. According to a survey recently conducted, they have every right to wonder.

Is it time to say buh-bye to newspapers?

Is it time to say buh-bye to newspapers?

In a survey taken by Australians aged between 18 – 30 with a balance of males and females (conducted by yours truly), more than half chose digital publications over print publications. Some of the reasons that supported this choice ranged from being easier to read than print to appearing more eco-friendly than print. The majority of those in favour of digital publishing thought that digital publications were easier to access via their smartphones or tablets and it could be done in the comfort of their own home, while print required more effort to obtain.

“I feel like in today’s modern society, it is more easy to grab a hold of a story, like if you hear something from someone, you can just Google it and it (the answer) [will] be there for you,” 18-year-old Morgan Graves-Burnnand said.

Justine Crowley, freelance media/creative consultant and book publisher, believes online publishing is popular because it is “more flexible all round.”

“Online articles and books enjoy more longevity than their print counterparts,” she said.

While she is a big advocate of digital publishing, Justine doesn’t think that it will completely take over.

“Print will still have its place, although it is clearly evident that online publishing is increasing.

“There are many people who still prefer to read a print book and/or magazine, yet more and more of the mainstream media is also dominating its publishing efforts online,” she said.

One of the main benefits of digital publishing that I have noticed with SolSat, Justine hit the nail right on its rearing head.

“Writers and editors enjoy greater flexibility in terms of working hours, and if you make a mistake – no sweat, your article can simply be fixed and re-published in nearly all cases,” she said.

Ain’t that the truth.

Thirty-five per cent of those surveyed, however, believed that they benefit more from print than digital.

“I find it easier to concentrate while reading hard copies of things,” Jason Miller, 20, said.

Scott Bailey, the editor of Rugby League Player magazine, believes when people can actually feel the publication in their hands, they can be a part of it.

“It’s hard to immerse yourself in what you’re reading [in digital]. When you’ve got a magazine in your hand, you feel involved in it and you feel a part of it,” he said.

Scott thinks that one of the reasons more young people are turning to digital publications because it is cheaper.

“When you wake up in the morning and you want to check the news, your mobile phone’s right there.

“We’ve been brought up in the computer generation and we’re used to stuff on the screen,” he said.

Scott said digital will never completely take over “because there will always be a need for print.”

– by The Black Widow

Check out Justine’s profile here. (The woman is incredible)
Check out Rugby League Player’s Facebook page here.

The Power of Music

Posted in Entertainment, Music by

Music is a powerful form of art which expresses the deepest emotions and thoughts that normal conversation wouldn’t be able to convey properly. Songs can invoke many emotions into the listener that wasn’t necessarily there before: joy, sadness, excitement, confidence.

My friend was telling me about this song he likes – Look After You by the Fray – so naturally I decided to have a gandy and see what was so great about it. Nekk minnit, drowning in my own tears. I don’t even understand what the song is about but listening to the chorus just tore me to shreds. Why? Listen to it for yourself. Maybe you’ll understand my pain.

The Fray... y u hrt mi 4?

The Fray… y u hrt mi 4?

Sometimes I can literally make myself cry just by thinking about a song that puts me into tears. A few of these songs include: Hurt by Christina Aguilera, Over You by Miranda Lambert, Man I Need by Jagwar Ma, Hurt by Johnny Cash and Secret by Seal.

On the other hand, I also use music to make me feel more confident. If you see me strutting like I’m on a catwalk with headphones dangling out of my ears, I’m most likely listening to something upbeat with lyrics talking about how damn good looking I am – or even something slow and sexy, like Get What I Want by Bitter:Sweet.

How do songs have such an influence on our emotions?

Songs can make you sad for many reasons, for example: it may remind you of someone or something, or the lyrics relate to you and it just sends you into a catatonic state. I asked a couple of my friends what songs make them sad and this is what they responded with. Get your tissues ready.

“Heaven 911 Remix – the little girl’s voice and what she says makes me think of my nonno. I cry every time I hear it.” – Bianca Mureddu

“Dance With My Father Again – Luther Vandross… ’cause it was my grandpa’s song at his funeral.” – Ashton Leota

“Evanescence – My Immortal. I honestly have no idea why it makes me sad but it does. Maybe my subconscious can relate to the lyrics?” – Jennifer Silk

“Morning Has Broken by Cat Stevens, the song that was playing as my Nanna’s coffin was wheeled in at her funeral.” – Zac Pittas

“Moments in Love by Art Noise. There’s something about this song that inspires a wide array of emotions in me. I guess it’s because it’s a song that I normally play when I’m reflecting.” – Nick Bryson

If we as humans allow music to have such power over us, surely music is more than just a bunch of people singing words to music. Right?

– by The Black Widow

Etiquette at a Rugby League Game

Posted in Sports by

It’s the NRL Grand Final. Your team is up by 14 points. There’s only 10 minutes to go. Just as your team spirit is running high, someone behind you spills their beer on your hair and attempts to start a fight with you.

Game over. Your high is ruined.

Don't be like this fat moron, please.

Don’t be like this fat moron, please.

For any sports fanatic, the atmosphere of a big league game mainly depends on your experience as a crowd spectator. If everyone is cheering and generally having a good time, there is a positive vibe floating around the audience setting a good mood amongst those in attendance.

There are times, however, when a select few people have too much fun, get a bit rowdy and ruin the atmosphere by causing disturbances and alcohol-fuelled brawls. The issues that affected the etiquette at league games range from people unlawfully accessing the field of play to throwing projectiles at the field and fighting amongst themselves.

South Sydney Rabbitohs fan and league enthusiast, 21-year-old Lara McKenzie, recalls an instance of aggression at a league game that extended to her 1-year-old son.

“Two drunken fans of the opposing team were cursing and such,” she said, “(they) were calling me a bad mother for dressing my son in Rabbitoh’s colours.”

Although incidents such as the streaker at the State of Origin 2013 decider do happen, which involved a naked man accessing the field in the last minutes of the game which halted a try and greatly interrupted play, the Security Manager for the Sydney Cricket Ground and Sports Ground Trust John O’grady said the crowd behaviour at Allianz Stadium has been good as of late.

“Our eviction rates for any particular offenders have been pretty low… might average 2 per match.

“We have zero tolerance for any offences committed in the venues.”

O’grady continued to say that most of these offences are generally alcohol related, whether that be from high intoxication or from unlawfully bringing alcohol in to the premises.

Compared to the crowd’s behaviour around 5 years ago, however, the etiquette at Allianz Stadium has improved according to O’grady and his staff.

“The evidence that I get from my (junior) supervisors (suggests) the crowd behaviour has essentially gotten much better,” he said.

If there were a scuffle between two or three people, it would be quite easy to ignore it and continue watching the game. However, if the scuffle involved a majority of the section, the same could not be said. These all-out melees are rare with the stricter enforcement placed in today’s society and at Allianz Stadium, O’grady says that he hasn’t encountered a situation that was out of control.

“You may have a brawl that involves 3 or 4 people but not something that occupies a whole bay. Any issue that escalates that’s probably a little bit beyond security level… police take over.

“In general terms, major incidents that cause any levels of consternation is pretty low.”

Here are a few tips on how to properly behave at an NRL game – or any sports match for that matter:
[x] You have the right to cheer as loud as you want for your team just as much as everyone else does. Starting a fight with someone just because they support the other team is petty and stupid.
[x] It’s Australian to sling back a beer or two at a footy game with a pie and chips. Just don’t drink too much that you have to be wheeled out by security.
[x] Don’t throw crap onto the field or insult/yell at the players. It’s really disrespectful to the game that you should love if you’re in attendance.
[x] Don’t streak, for god’s sake. My poor Matty Scott deserved that try.
[x] Lastly, do not wear cocktail dresses and hooker heels to footy games. You will look stupid.

It’s always important not to forget that there are people in the audience that want to watch a good game of rugby league being played. So remember: drink responsibly and keep any unnecessary comments to yourself that might incite hatred or violence.

Stay safe and go the Brisbane Broncos for 2014!

– by The Black Widow