Tag Archives: advice

Dating Nikki: Popping the question

Posted in Dating Nikki by

Are you sure you’re ready to go that that stage of the relationship?

So you’ve been with your significant other for quite some time (time variable depending on the relationship) and you love them. That’s good! But now, you love them so much that you want to take your relationship further… as in “Let’s grow old together and have babies” further.

Eep.

Hang in there, mate. It gets easier. (SOURCE: Shawn Paradis' Flickr photostream)

Hang in there, mate. It gets easier. (SOURCE: Shawn Paradis’ Flickr photostream)

Popping the all-important question is a daunting task for anyone to endure, male or female. It’s not as if asking someone (or trapping them) to spend the rest of their lives with you is a walk in the park.  The proposal is not only just from the male nowadays, which is something I rather enjoy. More women are getting down on their knee to propose to their loved ones, so girls, this one applies to you as well.

Before I get on my usual high horse where I’m dishing out advice left right and centre, it’s important that I note that I’ve never proposed to anyone nor have I ever been proposed to (tear) so I am not speaking from personal experience here, but more from what I think you should do, from other people’s positive experiences to what I would like in a future proposal.

Be confident, b-e confident
Nothing would be unsexier or more uncomfortable than watching someone scratch themselves, sweat up a storm and stutter because they are that nervous. Walk into that intimate setting with your head held high and own it. Own what you’re about to do. Drop down to that knee, never taking your eye off that other person, and pop the question. Of course, don’t go overboard that you end up sounding like “Oi babe, marry me hey”, because that is a douchey thing to do. Deliver your message firmly. The other person will be so blown away that they will happily accept your proposal, regardless of your cooking ability.

Have a game plan
If you plan on going into this proposal and “winging it”, you will be sad to hear that you will fail miserably. Winging something as important as the life-changing proposal is a silly mistake, so if you’ve got the ring and you haven’t got the yes yet, come up with a plan. Where will you be? How are you going to do it? What is going to make your proposal better than any ol’ proposal? How are you going to deliver the proposal? These questions and more should be answered and plotted in your proposal to make sure that it’s effortless and… FLAWLESS!

Know his/her ring size!
She’s said yes. You’re elated. You go to slip that ring on her finger… oops, her finger’s too fat. Your moment is ruined. This is a problem that most men (sorry to be gender specific) have an issue with. You can’t outright ask them what their ring size is because then they’ll know what you’re up to. Your best bet? Steal one of his/her rings and take it to a jeweller and ask what size that is. Alternatively, you could ask his/her friend for a little help. It’s common knowledge that best friends share everything, but with something as huge as a proposal? You’ll have nothing to worry about.

Be prepared for the worst
I know this is kind of a morbid thing to say, but say things don’t exactly go your way when you’ve proposed… you will need a back up plan. In case this happens, it’ll make the situation all the more awkward if you’re still on your knee staring at them with the blankest expression on your face. Get up. Shrug it off. Tell them that you still love them regardless. Quietly die inside. Quietly.

To anyone who is thinking of popping the question any time soon, good luck! We here at Solstice Satisfaction wish you and your partner well in your future!

– by The Black Widow

You Know What Sh!ts Me?: Public transport and its morons

Posted in What Sh!ts Me by

Introducing a new segment to Solstice Satisfaction that I’m sure a lot of you out there can relate to – You Know What Sh!ts Me? Basically, an opinion on what really grinds my gears… what really irritates me… what really gets my blood pumping, and not in the good way either. These opinions may be contentious and/or very strongly expressed and I encourage the disclaimer that this is my opinion and you are free to oppose it in the comments or an angry e-mail.

Today’s topic: the morons who use public transport.

Think twice before you hop on one of these.

Think twice before you hop on one of these. (SOURCE: Mark Hillary’s Flickr photostream)

There are several types of morons who catch public transport, and I’m going to identify every single one of them. Please, if you are one of these morons, sort yourself out for the rest of us. Please.

Moron #1: Hot Seat Moron
These are the ones who change seats on the bus or train like it’s going out of fashion. I was sitting at the back one day and I watched this woman walk onto the bus and sit down. She didn’t seem satisfied, however, as she got up and moved to another seat two back. Nope. Still not satisfied. She got up again and moved to the other side of the bus. Umm… what? I literally didn’t see the point in that. Unless there was some invisible man threatening her that I didn’t see, I honestly don’t understand the logic behind that. This moron is also the moron that reluctantly takes a seat next to someone on the bus/train and then gets up and moves as soon as a seat is free. Like, what is the point? You’re not going to catch anything by sitting next to a stranger. I find this as rude as it is unnecessary. I see this happen way more than it should.

Moron #2: Bags-don’t-have-arses Moron
Yeah. These ones are the ones who put their bags onto the seat next to them and don’t even think to move them when people are filing onto the mode of transport. They will only VERY RELUCTANTLY move their belongings when someone politely asks if they may sit there. I’d hate to break it to you, but your bag or laptop case or cake tin actually doesn’t have an arse and therefore doesn’t really need to have a seat. That struggling woman with four bags slung over her shoulder probably does. Common sense people. We were all born with it, so use it.

Moron #3: Complaining Moron
How often do we see on social media people complaining about the public transport system? “Bus was two minutes late… FML”. “Bus driver charged me 10cents more than what he should have. #gokillyourself”. Like seriously, go plant a tree or something. There are bigger problems than public transport not going out of its way to accommodate one person. Your train is delayed? Big whoop. Would you rather walk the 20+km to work? I didn’t think so. The bus driver charged you adult fare even though you have a concession card that you left at home? Not his bloody fault you’re forgetful. The main point I’m trying to get across is this: these people are getting paid to do the public a great deal of service, and they have to put up with ignorant morons like this all day every day. They are getting you from A to B for a very cheap rate. I don’t know about you but I personally would rather deal with minor unpleasantries than walk to and back from Surry Hills twice a day, three days a week.

Moron #4: Un-chivalrous Moron
I have this unspoken rule I keep to myself when it comes to public transport. If a woman comes onto the bus/train and there are free seats, I will keep my seat. Even if she chooses to stand up for some odd reason because she doesn’t want to take that free seat, I will remain seated. It’s not my fault she doesn’t want to sit there. However, if a woman comes onto the bus/train and there are no free seats, I will offer her said seat and make her take it. The same can be said for the elderly. From my recent observations, I have noticed that I am the only one who will get up and do this or, if you’re lucky, another man will do the same. Most men just sit there, playing ignorance, while struggling women are standing up. This is a deadset joke. I honestly do not care if you had a slack day at work or your tutor yelled at you, if a woman is standing up on a full bus, you offer her your damn seat. One time on a train, a pregnant woman holding her baby was standing up while a bunch of suited blokes sat down on their smartphones, and it took a brave man yelling “Is somebody going to get up for her?!” to cause some action.

Moron #5: There-is-no-room-for-you-in-the-inn Moron
Exclusive to most buses, this moron is the one who just doesn’t get the fact that the seat was made for one person. Or two really, really skinny people. The front two seats at the bus (at least the ones I catch) are narrower than the normal two seater, therefore they are really only made for one person. Sometimes I take this seat so I can have a nap on the bus and know I won’t awkwardly elbow someone next to me. Sometimes when I wake up from this nap, however, there is someone trying to sit on the half-a-centimetre space left of the seat, and they are awkwardly shuffling on one foot, trying to balance their arse on the non-existent space. This may be me coming off as selfish… BUT YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US.

There. End rant. That felt good.

Please… if you are any one of these people.

Sort. Your. F#$%ing. Life. Out.

– by The Black Widow

How to Catch a Catfish

Posted in Lifestyle by

You just found the cutest guy/babenest girl on Tinder and you’re chatting up a storm with them. They seem so perfect for you… almost too perfect.

With the internet nowadays, especially online dating apps like Tinder and Blendr, one has to be very careful when getting close with someone you only know through an app or website. It could turn out that your guy that resembles Ryan Gosling turns out to be a whale named Brutus. Literally. A whale.

You could be talking to this if you're not careful... (SOURCE: Brian Henderson's Flickr.)

You could be talking to this if you’re not careful… (SOURCE: Brian Henderson’s Flickr.)

The term catfish was born from the film with the same name that played on the aspect of someone being fooled online… and thus, the term was born. The concept of catfishing is so popular that it has warranted its own TV show that reunites online lovers and figures out whether they’re real or not.

As a true investigative journalist, I went seeking a catfish on a dating app. I found one. It took me all of five minutes to figure out that I was being catfished and after I caught them out, I asked them questions as a journalist as to why they did what they did. I use the word “they” because I don’t know if it was a female or male that I was talking to.

“Knowing what people are like, they would never go for me,” he/she said.

I asked them if they would ever go that far that they make someone fall for them, and they replied emphatically: “Trust me, it has and I would never let it get that far.”

If you’re having worries that your seemingly special someone is actually fake, there a few handy tips to get around the situation without alerting the other person that you’re onto them:

Tip #1: Request a very specific picture of them
Assuming that you are quite close with this person, sneak in a very specific picture request from them. For example, if the person has a tattoo, ask them for a close-up picture of said tattoo. If they send you one, don’t be sold yet that they’re real – they might just had luck with stealing someone else’s pictures. If that person has shown you his/her cute nephew, ask for a cute picture of them two together. If they turn down either one of these seemingly simple requests, chances are that your lover is a fake.

Tip #2: Ask them details about their life, and then repeat
So your lover has a picture of them and their sister together, ask what the sister’s name is. Sandra? Oh that’s a nice name. Write that down. A week later, and you’ve happened to forget their sister’s name. “Oh what was it again?” Jenny. “Oh that’s interesting, because I thought her name was Sandra.” Caught out. Most catfishes don’t keep track of the lies they spit out so chances are you’ll catch them out with a well thought-out plan like that. And don’t fall for the “Oh Jenny is her real name, Sandra is her middle name” bullcrap. It doesn’t work.

Tip #3: Request meet-ups with no real intention of meeting up
You have doubts that your person is real, so do the simple thing and “go that step further in your relationship” – request a face-to-face meeting. If your catfish has a soul, they’ll politely turn down the meeting with an ignorant excuse of some sort. Go along with it, and then request another meeting. The same thing’ll happen, and you’ll know the answer. You’re being catfished. Sorry.

As always, be wary of who you talk to online. You can’t trust a pretty face on an app just because it’s, well, pretty.

– by The Black Widow

Dating Nikki: Casual dating

Posted in Dating Nikki by

This one is for the commitment-troubled or those resistant to relationships who still want that lovey dovey feeling. Or just someone to spoon at night.

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So you want to go out on dinner dates and watch a movie with someone in the backseat but you don’t want anything to be “too serious” or long-term. While you may have been frowned upon and even christened with a bright red A previously, in the 21st century, that is a completely normal thing to want. If you’re not already familiar with the term, let me introduce you to “casual dating.”

Life and casual dating according to Nikki
What is casual dating?
Casual dating is when you date one or more people at the same time in a casual and relaxed state, and I mean date in the literal sense – you go out and play putt putt together, or go for a nice hike in the mountains together. Casual dating isn’t used to find that “special somebody” but more for getting to know other people better in a more intimate manner. And yes, you could be banging your casual dates at the same time as well. Casual dating can also be used to find what qualities you want and don’t want in a potential special someone.

What are the benefits of casual dating?
You can see several people at the same time without feeling guilty for cheating. While people may think casual dating is just a term used for “being a slut”, it really isn’t if it’s done properly. Like I said before, it’s a great way to pinpoint certain qualities you would want in a future partner, without getting too serious that you feel pressured to take the next step with them.

How do I go about casual dating?
After you’ve done making that connection with someone, ask them out on a date. However, a huge disclaimer should be made at the beginnings of this budding friendship that you aren’t looking for anything serious. It would be severely awkward if you’re going in looking for a bit of young, innocent fun and the other person is looking for their eternal lover. Once it’s settled, hang out together, cuddle, whatever. The limits are endless.

What should I know about casual dating before I dive in?
The traditional romance enthusiasts don’t think highly of casual dating as they think it’s borderline promiscuous. To them, I say: it’s the 21st century. Just like female celebrities of nowadays don’t act like the female starlets of Grace Kelly’s era, society has changed with time. Casual dating is okay. Judging is not. Also, you may develop actual feelings for someone you are casually dating. If this happens, don’t be alarmed – that’s normal. If a committed relationship is a mutual agreement, do it.

If you need any suggestions for casual dates, the same rules would apply to a couple who are looking for a committed relationship. Go bowling. Go out to dinner. Go for a walk on the beach. Enjoy yourself.

– by The Black Widow