Dating Nikki: Double dating (and why it’s useful!)

Double dating is useful when you want to get to know that special someone a little better without having that added pressure of being alone and intimate with them. If you aren’t talented at small talk, then I would suggest a double date as a first or second date to help you break the ice.

Serial double dating at its finest.

Serial double dating at its finest.

This fascinating concept is flexible and can be a great endeavour in the early stages of a relationship and even for the happily married. The double date is It’s a fun experience where you get to socialise and see how other couples date and, of course, spend that quality time with your special lady or gentleman. Speaking solely for those of you who are part of the former and are just establishing some form of connection with a significant other, this advice is for you.

The benefits of double dating
[+] The pressure of keeping a steady conversation flow is taken away from you with the presence of others. You may now relax.
[+] With you being relaxed, your date will also be relaxed, especially if they have a friend with them. This is beneficial because then you get to see them in their true, natural skin, not their “I have to act like I’m in a job interview to seem impressive” mode.
[+] Bored of hearing about how her hairdresser cut her hair wrong or how he scored the most amazing try on the weekend? You’ve got one of your gal pals or bros with you. Get reinvigorated with your mate there with you.
[+] I’m just going to put this one out there. You won’t feel tempted to have a quickie if you have another two sets of prying eyes there with you. If you’re there for the right reasons, then this is a benefit. Trust me.
[+] You have a wider variety of activities to do. You know how there are certain things you need a group to do? Ta da!
[+] More fun will be evident during a double date. Bowling with two people is fun, yeah, but with four? Outstanding.
[+] It’s a fantastic social experiment, therefore, do it.

Ideas for double dates
[x] A good ol’ fashion video game arcade is a great idea for a double date. You can compete in games in a free-for-all, couple vs. couple or girls vs. boys (or boys vs. boys, girls vs. girls in the same sex situation). Who doesn’t like a little competition?
[x] Go-karting. If you haven’t played Mario Kart, then you wouldn’t understand where I’m going with this one.
[x] Lazer tag. Same deal – free-for-all, couple vs. couple, etc. You also burn off mega calories in this thigh-burning exercise as well.
[x] Go for a hike or relaxing nature walk. Don’t do this at night, otherwise the Big Bad Wolf will eat you. (DISCLAIMER: not really)
[x] Board games and/or video games. BYO competitive spirit.
[x] Karaoke, because let’s be frank, karaoke is amazing.

Double dating is not an excuse to completely avoid alone time with your date, so find a free moment during the day or night to spend some quality time with your date, even if it’s the drive home to his or her house together. You’ll realise that you’re more comfortable being with each other just because of the success of the double date.

When you’re buying your first house together, you have me to thank.

You’re welcome.

– by The Black Widow

Genuinely Good Children’s Television (Non-Cartoon Category)

It’s harsh truth time: we all have to admit to ourselves that not every show we watched as children were masterpieces; in fact, under the age of about eight we would watch any piece of fluoro-coloured crap that danced around on a screen in front of us. I was faced with this brutal reality after re-watching the first Power Rangers film, something I remember watching a bajillion times with my cousins and loving it. No surprise, it was a poo-poo platter of badness, and it made me feel sad for my tiny toddler brain.

Some shows and films should be left alone to stay a foggy but delightful memory of our childhoods, but I believe that a handful of shows we did watch aren’t just good for nostalgias sake, but good for their overall brilliance as television shows.

So here’s a short list of shows you should definitely not regret watching, and which I would recommend watching even now…

Round the Twist (1989-2001)
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This show was some sort of beautiful gift, from our childhood lord and saviour Paul Jennings, a genius with kid’s stories. His writing translated well onto the screen, producing tales of suspense, mystery, and utter craziness without scaring its young audience. But what I loved most was the true blue Aussie-ness of it all, from the accents and lingo down to the rugged beachside landscapes – something that stuck out in front of the other American programming during that time. And I’m gonna go ahead and give it extra points for a hella-catchy theme song.

Art Attack (1990-2007)
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Art Attack was a seamless integration of entertainment, education and creativity. There were so many things to love about it: Neil’s art space filled with over-sized paintbrushes, the funny ‘Head’ character with his silly accent, and of course the art itself was incredibly absorbing. The big birds-eye pictures Neil made out of different objects baffles me even now, and coupled with the really rad 90’s music it made it even more exciting. With this show both adults and children were entertained – and not solely for the allocated twenty minutes. I can’t even imagine the kind of devil child who wouldn’t want to ‘try it at home’ after watching this show, so the amusement dragged on way beyond the show itself. But apart from all that, Neil was a great host, and definitely deserves a round of applause – Because he wasn’t just a man who loved PVA glue, but one who loved to teach.

Tidbit: Neil went on to perform lead guitar in a British heavy metal band called Marseille.

Goosebumps (1995-1998)
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I feel like this show doesn’t even need a write-up. It was scary, very scary, so scary I still have nightmares marked with big, green, gooey G’s. What Goosebumps did was get their already horrifying stories, make them come to life on a screen and provide it to children who otherwise would not be allowed to watch horror films – which I think is a great thing. Everybody likes a good scare, especially children, and I for one don’t think they get scared enough. Shows like this serve as an avenue for a love of the horror genre and a transition into reading – But most of all it had living dummies and phantoms and monster blood that were poop-your-pants frightening, but at the same time harmless fun. It does warn you beforehand: “Viewer, beware, you’re in for a scare!”

Tidbit: Ryan Gosling starred in the episode Say Cheese and Die.

The Muppet Show (1976-1981)
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There’s just something about frantically shaking a frog puppet thats hilarious, and muppets had that down-pact. I always thought of this show as a children’s style SNL, or maybe a muppets style SNL? I’m actually still pretty confused about this show, because I could never tell if it was made primarily for adults or children, but either way I enjoyed watching it. When I talk to other people my age about it they show a certain disinterest, which I totally understand. It wouldn’t be the first pick on a rainy sunday afternoon, but solely based on its simple slapstick humour, cute and creepily-made hand puppets, and pun humour, I think Jim Henson did a damn fine job.

The Amanda Show (1999-2002)
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This was never one of my favourites, but when it was on and nothing else was I watched it anyway. But watching a few episodes now I’ve realised that ten year old me was an idiot – It is so fucking funny. Sure there are some regular segments that fall flat, but most of it was outrageously hilarious, and it poked fun at adults and teenagers alike. I think people tend to forget pre-drugs Amanda Bynes, which is a damn shame, because she had the acting abilities, facial expressions and accents of a great comedy actor.

 – by Josefina Huq

Friendships Defined by Facebook Birthday Messages

When you see someone you know at the shops or something, you either think “Oh crap, turn around before they see you” or “Hey it’s Joe, I should go say hello to him.” When you’ve approached Joe, however, you’re stuck as to whether or not you should shake his hand, hug him, give him a good ol’ arse pat or kiss him on the cheek.

I should name this... "Noah's Friendship Theory".

I should name this… “Nikki’s Friendship Theory”.

Exactly when does someone become so close that they graduate from wave to handshake and handshake to hug? Well, I thought about this and I’ve figured it out – the level of love you have for a friend of yours can easily be found by the intensity of a birthday message you write to them on Facebook.

Here’s my theory (and for the examples, I’ll be using “Samantha”):

Wave and/or Smile
These are for people you kind of know but aren’t too close with. These are the ones you’d either “forget” to write to on their birthday, or you’d write something along the lines of:

Happy birthday Samantha.
Happy birthday!
Have a good one!

You don’t love them enough to put in a smiley face or a love heart or some level of enthusiasm to this message, therefore they would be categorised into “Wave and/or Smile”.

Handshake/Fistbump/Hi-five
These are the people who are your friends but you wouldn’t go out of your way to hang with them one on one in case of awkward silences and small talk. You would make an effort to write to these people on their birthday, however a high level of enthusiasm will not be present.

Happy birthday Sammi! Have a solid one!
Happy bday Samantha ❤
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🙂

They have enough brownie points with you to garner a kind love heart or smiley face or even capital letters, but that’s it. Don’t be bothered going out of your way to write them a birthday paragraph on how much they mean to you.

Manhug or Awkward Hug-Pat
The awkward hug-pat, when you hug someone but you aren’t that comfortable so you pat them on the back awkwardly to “show some level of affection”, is a step up from a handshake. This one’s interchangeable, I guess; I have known one of my best friends (Rachel) for six years and we’ve been through a lot together and she still hug-pats me, much to my disappointment. These are your good friends that you haven’t established that strong, solid connection with yet. An example of their birthday message would be:

Happy birthday Samantha! Hope all your wishes come true! Love you.
Happy birthday to you Samantha. I hope you get absolutely shitfaced tonight!

These people warrant more than one sentence so that’s definitely saying something.

Bearhug, Cuddle and Kiss
These are your best friends or the friends that you are so close to that you share the same wardrobe. You have a clearly established relationship with this person and you are not worried to share your feelings with them, as such:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMANTHA YOU HOT BITCH. WOOOOO CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU TONIGHT!!
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Samantha, happy birthday to you! Love you baby girl ❤

You may even want to go that extra mile for this person and post a status on your wall dedicated to their birthday, talking about how much you love them, and maybe even add a cute picture of you two for extra oomph.

So next time you see Joe down the street and you think “How do I greet him?”, just think, “What would I write on his Facebook wall on his birthday?” Problem solved. You’re welcome.

– by The Black Widow

Dating Nikki: First date small talk

Now introducing a new segment for Solstice Satisfaction… Dating Nikki! No, unfortunately you won’t be able to live your long dream of dating me, but you will be getting dating advice, tips and tricks from yours truly. Ta da!

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First date small talk…
Because you can’t exactly let the other person know just how unstable you are on the first date.

First impressions are the key on first dates and you want to be able to give off the vibe that you are one sick chick/cool dude. You should know enough about your date that it won’t be a complete mystery (unless it’s a blind date, in which case… stay tuned). Of course, this is the first time you have been intimate with this person in a dating sense, so there is bound to be some tension and/or awkwardness in the air. That is where your good friend “small talk” will come in.

You’re sitting down at the table at a nice restaurant: you have already broken the ice by telling her how beautiful she looks or telling him that he looks like Vin Diesel. You’ve exchanged weather pleasantries, talked about the safe drive to the destination and have been in awe of the font that the restaurant menu has used. Now where do you go?

DO

  • Ask how your date’s day and/or week has been.
  • Ask your date a little about their lifestyle – their employment, education, hobbies, etc. Try not to say “So what are your hobbies?” because I find that is a very difficult question to answer, and I have plenty of hobbies. If you find you have something in common, cling to that topic for a bit, but don’t let it dominate your conversation; you’ll sound forced if you do.
  • Play a little game of “Three Lies and a Truth” to break the ice and let your date know just how damn extreme you are. If you’re not extreme enough for Three Lies and a Truth, then go for 20 Questions (NOTE: change the number of questions at your desire)
  • Joke around with your date to take some of the awkward tension away. By joke, I don’t mean “So, a mate and I got drunk one night in a public bathroom…” kind of joke.
  • Share an interesting story about yourself that is relevant to your date or the conversation. If your date asks you how you are and you bring up a story about how your pet rabbit died ten years ago, then, well… just no.

DON’T

  • Bring up any past dates or romances. Ever. Ever. Ever.
  • (If at a dinner) Initiate conversation while your date is clearly trying to eat. They will feel pressured to keep up a conversation when all they want to do is eat.
  • Start a question with “So…” You’ll sound bored. And ignorant.
  • Make it so obvious that you’re keeping up small talk for the sake of making small talk. Unless you’re on something, which I strongly advise against on a first date, you will hate small talk. Don’t make it obvious that you hate it.
  • (If at a movie) Talk during the movie, unless it’s COMPLETELY necessary. Example: “Excuse me, I have to use the restroom” is accepted, “You should’ve seen what happened on the train today” is not.
  • Dominate the conversation. Each dater should have an equal amount of “air time”.

Small talk is uncomfortable for every party involved, so try and make it less painful for everyone by being confident and by being yourself. A forced small talker just seems fake, and, like, they have something shoved up their yoo-hoo. That’s bad, by the way.

Want a specific topic of the wide world of dating covered? E-mail me at widowslure@gmail.com and I will get to your dating plea as soon as possible.

Happy dating everyone!

– by The Black Widow