Tag Archives: advice

The Different Paths to a Man’s Heart

Posted in Lifestyle by

“The way to a man’s heart is through stomach and sports.”
Two Can Play That Game, 2001 film

The wise words of Shante Smith are so accurate. Ladies, pay good attention to this. You see that guy over there that you’ve been dying to make yours but you don’t know how to seize him, leash him and place a nice “OWNED” sticker on his forehead? (NOTE: not really). SolSat is here to help you win a man’s heart.

Do as I say and you will have your man in the palm of your hand, much like Shonte here.

Do as I say and you will have your man in the palm of your hand, much like Shante here.

A man’s gotta eat!
Men like to eat. Men like food. Men like to eat food. Now don’t take this as a sexist “I am not becoming a 50s housewife and delegating myself back to the kitchen” kind of thing because it’s not like that. It’s simple: men love food. Surprise the man with your stellar cooking skills and invite him over for a fabulous dinner. If you are kitchenally challenged, don’t worry – if you have to sneak in some takeaway through the back door, slap it on a plate and call it your own, go for it. The happier the man’s stomach, the happier the man. Ask around for his favourite dish and “just happen” to cook that for him and he’ll be putty in your hand.

Up the Broncos!
Can I just say that anyone who has the same passion and fire for rugby league will automatically shoot into my favourites list, especially if they have the same love for the Broncos, All Blacks or any of my other sporting teams. Most men love their sports or at least have an interest in it, and nothing is sexier than a woman who knows the difference between league and union or how to kick a solid 40m conversion. In saying that, don’t go out of your way to impress him with sports knowledge if you literally have none – nothing is more painful to watch than girls babbling about how they love sports and the only athlete they know is Sonny Bill Williams. Bitch please. NOTE: don’t overdo it, otherwise you might friendzone yourself.

The endangered species of the girl gamer
Just as much as men love sports, they also love their video games – if not made apparent by the gazillions of “He broke my heart so I broke his Xbox”-esque pages on Facebook. Wow the man with your team deathmatch skills on COD and your impressive knowledge on the Tarkatan clan from Mortal Kombat.  Just the same as sports, don’t over do it in case of friendzoning.

Love me, love me, say that you love me
No I am not advocating you walk up to a random man at a bar and say “Oh my god I think I love you”. That’s creepy. No, what I’m saying is to appreciate your desired man by complimenting him and making him feel as if he’s the only one.  While this sounds very feminine and most men wouldn’t openly admit to feeling like this, the truth is that most men like being treated like royalty and will most likely want to wife you if you do so.

Most importantly: be yourself
I know this may seem a bit contradictory as it appears that I’m telling you to change yourself for the sake of a man, but that’s not my intention. If you don’t want to get off your arse and cook or watch a game of footy, don’t. However, it’s always wise to use your talents and knowledge to your advantage. Men (at least, the good ones) can see through an act so if you’re trying too hard to be someone you aren’t, they’ll see through that and be turned off. Nothing is more appealing than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and does not apologise for being herself. Men will appreciate this and will like this about you.

In interviewing some men for this post, I found a couple that said “they aren’t won over too easily”, so follow my rules and that man will change his ways and be putty in your hands. Putty, I tells ya.

– by The Black Widow

Dating Nikki: The Do’s and Don’t’s of Movie Dating

Posted in Dating Nikki, Lifestyle by

As young adults, we have undoubtedly reached the time in our lives where we want to get to know people of the opposite/same sex in a friendly or intimate manner. For the beginnings of a budding relationship, movie dating is very popular because it gives the couple a chance to spend quality time together without the added pressures of keeping a conversation flow going.

Look at that solid hand-on-the-shoulder action.

Look at that solid hand-on-the-shoulder action.

With everything, however, there are some general guidelines that one must follow if they hope to achieve a successful movie date and further dates down the track, especially in the beginning of a budding relationship.

Do’s
“We got there, paid for our tickets, and found a seat. The movie got started and we were really excited (excited enough to have an awkward kiss). As it went on, and the dinosaurs got all angry… she got scared, leaped into my arms, and I laughed. But when she leaped into my arms, the chemistry that was there, came back. We looked into each others eyes and kissed. And then a dinosaur ate a dude in half. It was epic.”
Sean Jensen, 20 years old

– Organise transportation to and from the movie venue. If this is a first date, it is generally acceptable and preferred that both daters meet at the movie venue. Further down the track, when both daters feel more comfortable and at ease with each other, a pick-up would be appropriate.
– Arrive to the movie venue at least 10 minutes earlier than the agreed time. This shows great punctuality and it is a good sign for further relationship development. If the date is running late, go and grab a coffee or something to help you feel at ease if you have enough time.
– Plan to meet at least 15 minutes before the movie so you can have a conversation with your date without the pressure of being in a quiet movie theater.
– Greet your date appropriately; do not push past your limits because you feel pressured to. If you don’t feel comfortable kissing the other on the cheek, settle with a hug. Chances are that the other person is as nervous as you are and they will respect your boundaries.
– Breath mints were invented for a reason. Utilise them.
– In some circumstances, physical contact in a movie date is generally acceptable. If the other person is feeling emotional after a romantic scene in a movie, put your arm around them or hold their hand; it will make them feel more secure and is a considerate, warm gesture.
– If you feel as if the moment is right and it is appropriate to, you can kiss your date. Generally speaking, the initiation of a kiss is important: mutual eye contact is a must for a successful kiss. This depends on how comfortable the daters are around each other.
– After the movie is finished, talk about it. It can give you the opportunity for a positive flow of conversation and it can also give you an insight on how the other person thinks.
– Farewell your date in an appropriate manner; the same guideline applies from the greeting – if you don’t feel comfortable kissing them on the cheek, don’t. You can kiss them on the cheek, hug them or simply give them a polite wave. Don’t forget to thank them for the date!

Don’t’s
“For our first date, it was meant to be me and him but he invited [others] along… but with both couples acting like they didn’t know each other… we sat apart from our accompanying party. We were kissing… it was unpleasant and awkward, and everyone in the cinema were staring at us… I wanted to stop but I couldn’t because he wasn’t stopping and I was too uncomfortable making him stop and to this day I do not know what movie we were watching.”
Rebecca Syed, 21 years old

– Don’t talk during the movie, at all. It is common courtesy to those around you to keep quiet so even if you feel the need to make a comment about a scene in the movie, save it for after. Not only will pointless chatter disturb people around you, it may also annoy your date who may be trying to focus on the movie.
– Unless it’s an emergency, refrain from using your mobile phone, especially during the movie. If it’s not annoying your date, it is certainly annoying someone around you. It is also common courtesy to your date as unnecessary phone usage shows a certain level of disinterest in the other person and it may offend them.
– While it is the standard cinema snack, avoid purchasing popcorn as a snack. If the occurrence of a mid-movie kiss happens, nothing is more off-putting than a nice piece of popcorn wedged in your tooth. This can also be said for chocolate and other tooth-colouring snack items.
– Do not go in for an unexpected or seemingly random kiss: it will catch the other person off guard and may scare them off potential future dates. When the moment is right and the intimacy is there, you will know when it is an appropriate time.
– Heavy making out is a no go. It will make others around you very uncomfortable; leave that kind of thing for the bedroom.
– Do not just sit there and have no form of communication with your date whatsoever during the movie. While I’m not talking about chatter, a smile or some other form of appropriate gesture would be lovely. If you keep a stoneface until the end of the movie, it’ll give your date the impression that you are indeed stonefaced.

If you follow these simple guidelines, your movie date should run smoothly and successfully and you will definitely be in for another shot at a date. Who wouldn’t want to date you if you’ve become an expert movie dater after reading this?

– by The Black Widow

How to Get Dumped (On Purpose!)

Posted in Lifestyle by

This one’s for the ladies out there.

This is the desired effect, minus the falling in love at the end part. (CREDIT: issye Flickr page)

This is the desired effect, minus the falling in love at the end part. (CREDIT: issye Flickr page)

Have you ever been in a relationship with a man who is a nice guy and everything but you weren’t feeling that spark anymore? You really wanted to end things with him but didn’t have the heart to dump him because he was such a quality bloke? Or what about that guy you had a one night stand with and, thinking that was going to be it, you walk off and start receiving calls and messages from him saying “You’re not like any other girl he’s ever met”. You’re too kind to flip him the bird… so what do you do?

Well, if you’re either one of those girls, it’s simple: make him want to dump you. Inspired by one of my favourite movies How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, I am here to give the women out there tips and advice on how to make a guy find you so darn repulsive and irritating that he will be running away with his tail in between his legs.

Smother him in front of his friends
Men like to appear very unattached and masculine in front of their friends, so if you were to drop by at a footy night at his place with a basket full of muffins and strawberry milkshakes made for him and all of his friends, chances are you will nearly embarrass the man to death. Ask “pookie” if he wants you to tuck him into bed later that night or read him a bedtime story. Tell “sugarmuffin” how much you absolutely love him in front of his friends and recall a time where he was so romantic that his friends laugh. Cuddle up to him on the couch while he’s trying to watch his beloved Brisbane Broncos play the Bulldogs and continue interrupting his game by kissing him or telling him how cutesy wutesy he looks.

Channel your inner Cher Horowitz
You’ve seen Clueless right? About the vapid blonde who has a heart of gold? Well, amplify that by about 1000x and tell your man how absolutely horrified you were that the Manolo Blahnik’s you thought were on sale were actually mispriced. Errgh, what a tragedy! Men aren’t interested in your girly dilemmas and most likely will not understand them. No man will happily sit through a lecture about the differences between wax and laser hair removal, or why wearing lip gloss and lip stainer creates a better effect than lipstick. Bore him to tears with your femininity and he will be pissbolting out that door before you can even say Chanel.

Baby talk
Men like being men; strong, adult humans of the XY chromosome, so talking to them as if they’re cute puppies or adorable little toddlers will drive them insane. His name’s Michael? Not anymore! It’s Mikeypoobear from now on! Chris? Chrissyboy! David? Daveywavey! Also in reference to “Smothering him in front of his friends”, vamp up the baby talk so bad that you may even forget that he is actually a full-time working businessman. Grab those cheeks of his at the most inappropriate times and shout “GOOCHY GOOCHY GOO” and I will assure you, the last thing he is thinking is how much he wants to be with you.

Bring the future to you
You know what scares a man even more than a scary clown bed? The future, more specifically, paving his future from him. Sit him down with a nice bowl of strawberry ice-cream and tell him how you plan on moving to Los Angeles to follow your dream of becoming an actress after getting married to him in a traditional family wedding with four bridesmaids and groomsmen. When you’re living in Los Angeles, of course, he will be staying at home with your six children being the househusband because your aspirations are much more important than his. Your children will naturally be in the order of a boy, a girl, two boys, and two girls, and you would even know the names of these children whilst having this conversation over strawberry ice-cream. After finishing this discussion, if he is still sitting there… the man has issues.

Pointless phone calls and other forms of communication
Call that man in the middle of the night when he is trying to get some important Z’s in and tell him what you had to eat that entire day and whether or not he thinks you’re overweight or not. Write on his Facebook wall every 2 minutes with a cute love heart or smiley face or even both put together! Flood his text inbox with messages asking him what he is doing and whether he is thinking about you. Leave a dozen or so voicemessages on his phone asking where he is and why he isn’t answering his phone. I can’t think of a worse punishment to be honest.

Irrational jealousy
Jealousy is commonly associated with the colour green. You want to appear so green that the Hulk would be jealous of your cool tan. Call your man and when he picks up on the second ring, accuse him of cheating on you because he didn’t answer on the first. Ask for his Facebook password and when he questions why? Tell him it’s because he has other females as friends on Facebook and you want to see if any of them are inboxing him. Grill him for being closer with his mother than he is with you – because that’s a completely rational thought to have, right?

As you are reading this, I expect a few men will be cringing and even a few women might, because nothing would be more painful than having to sit through all of that for someone you apparently love. If that doesn’t work? Slap a restraining order on the bloke because there is no way someone sane will hang around after doing all that to him!

– by The Black Widow

Satisfashion: Rugby League

Posted in Lifestyle, Satisfashion, Sports by

In this second installment of Satisfashion, I thought I’d write about something that I am clearly passionate about – that being rugby league, or NRL in particular. I’m doing the darndest thing and combining that with something that is complete opposite to rugby league – fashion. Dun dun duuuuun. Fashion in the NRL? Whatever do I mean?

Well, I’ve seen many o’ fashion mistakes at all the NRL games I’ve been to through the years and decided to help the fashionably challenged at NRL games. In spirit of the NRL finals around the corner – and seeing as my team is out for the season *Sadface* – here we go with the Do’s and Dont’s of fashion at NRL games.

The obvious fashion must at an NRL game (if you’re willingly going to one and support a team) is a footy jersey. These must be done tastefully because there are some blindingly horrendous cases that you shouldn’t wear your team’s jersey. For example, if you support the Warriors and you are going to a Broncos vs. Bulldogs game, please for the love of all that is holy, do not wear your Warriors jersey and call out ignorant things like “GO THE WARRIORS!!” Nobody found it funny the first time so no one will find it funny this time. When people do this, I want nothing more than for them to get kicked out for being stupid. Genuine team jerseys can be a bit pricey unless you know when and where to shop for your team merchandise… or you support the Eels because their jerseys are usually reduced to $60 by the fifth round.

As most nights at a league game are cold, all of the teams have their own scarves, beanies and jackets you can purchase at a relatively cheap price. These are obviously to be worn with your team’s jersey for a full-on supporter effect. Like you don’t mix patterns in an every day outfit, do not mix teams in your choice of clothing. Wearing a Bunnies jersey and a Cowboys scarf and a Raiders beanie is not funny. I repeat, NOT funny. The amount of times I see people doing this thinking they are Kevin Hart hilarious is saddening.

Now, this next one is going to be specific to women – please, I implore you, do not dress as if you are going out to Kings Cross on a Saturday night at a rugby league game. If you’re there to try and pull men, that’s fine, but in extension to that, you are dampening the spirit of the game and in the process bringing your IQ down by fifty points and making women as a whole look clueless. I know lots of diehard female NRL fans who despise the “fakers” for making them look foolish. It is possible to look great at a league game without overdoing it and looking out of place.

League games or any sport match alike is a perfect excuse if you want to go that step further and don face paint and/or something else outstanding like the Blues wigs at Origin games or body paint. There is no such thing as over-accessorizing when it comes to fan merchandise at games and that’s the thing I love. While I personally choose not to don body paint, I love seeing the team spirit in the crowd with the people that do. It’s diehard fans that make sitting in the stands watching a game that much more entertaining.

If you’re not a diehard supporter of a team and are just going to enjoy the environment with friends, wearing anything is fine.

As a Broncos fan, when I go to a Broncos game, I wear the obvious Broncos jersey, Broncos scarf, a normal pair of jeans and boots and I look fine. If I’m feeling patriotic enough, I will even wear my Broncos “cape-flag” around my neck with pride. For extra oomph, I even have a pull-out “GO BRONCOS/TRY” sign to use at the appropriate times. And thus, the appropriate look is created.

Ta da! #bronxnation

Ta da! #bronxnation

So please, everyone, do yourself a favour and dress appropriately the next time you intend on going to a league game. I’m going to watch the Bunnies vs. the Storm in what is sure to be a 5/5 stellar game between the two sides, and I’m not going to do something as foolish as wear my Broncos gear and call out “GO COREY PARKER!” Widow out!

– by The Black Widow